Transition After 25

[kae m]

Were you ever certain?

Oh for sure, I'm very certain of who I am and I'm very certain I don't much fit in any one particular group.  What I'm trying to say is I'm confused by my label and best if used by date, I'm not confused about who I am. 

I was very certain that I needed to transition when I started seeing my therapist, but it's arguable where the point was that I started transition.  I'm moving slowly but deliberately and I don't know where the starting line was or is.  If it was when I accepted myself and decided I should do something about how I've always felt, then I was 23 when I started.  If it was when I started seeing a therapist, then I was 24.  If it was when I started to present as more female than male and started to be gendered as female by random people, then it's when I was 25.  If it's when I start telling everyone in my life that they need to start referring to me as Kelly and using female pronouns, then I haven't started yet but it will be while I'm still 26.

[LordKAT]

That starting line is seemingly mutable depending on how you figure the start of transition is. I always knew what camp I belonged in, it was harder figuring out which one would allow me to be without reservation. Sometimes that was neither, sometimes both.

I figure that I'm almost done legal wise but medical wise I have a ways to go. Lack of cash and insurance which discriminates against transition is my biggest obstacle. People will or won't deal with it and I just lean towards those who do as best I can.

My next surgery that I want is about $11,000 USD, I can not even make my rent and phone payments if I want food and gas to keep working. I am debating on taking some college courses or finding a better job (which I think we all know is scarce).

[Kay]

I checked "after 30."
.
First time I had the courage to come out to anyone was 10 years ago at age 26.  Got the emotional stuffing kicked out of me for the next several years, and went back in the shell.
.
Where do you mark "started" though?  I guess I could say 2 years ago when I started facial electrolysis, but to me that seems more like prep-work...like packing your luggage knowing you're taking a trip, but you haven't quite gotten on the plane yet.
.
I guess for me I mark it at 4 months ago when I started on HRT.  Unlike electro, it's something that can't be hidden completely.  To me "starting transition" means taking that step out of 'safety' to where people are going to notice things.  Maybe not now...but eventually.  When you start looking ahead and think "crap...the clock is ticking...how am I ever going to be ready in time?"  (Which scares me, and makes me smile at the same time.)  When there's no turning back, and that old shell is something that you're beginning to shed permanently.

[Janet_Girl]

To me starting transition is when you do positive steps towards your true self with out really stopping.

Otherwise I started transition 20 plus years ago, but I stopped because of perceived social pressures

[gothique11]

If I don't count previous attempts, I started HRT and FT when I was 26. I'm now 31. I always get ID'd.

[justmeinoz]

56. I had hints from my early teens on I guess, but lack of information, and social pressures forced me down the path of trying to be extra masculine like so many others here. 
After a close relative came out as FtM, and started full time life as a bloke, I realised why I had been battling severe depression for so many years. If he can do it, so can I. Depression immobilises you so that everything just seems out of reach, even if you could imagine it.
Tomorrow I take the first concrete step and have a facial laser hair reduction, so I will be able to say I have definitely started. After a lifetime of trying to be considerate of others, and doing "the right thing" , I am making my own life my first priority.
Being separated, and with my children adults, I don't have the same limitations of having to worry about family as much either, which is a relief too.

[Laura91]

It took me so long to transition for many reasons. Primarily because of not feeling safe in the world, allowing others to control my life, and lack of information in the 70's, 80's and 90's when there was no internet.

You could find info in the pre-internet 80s, you just had to look for scraps of info. I started out by reading random entries in encyclopedias and going from there. (yes I've always been a geek  )

[Laura91]

Because there is some minute scrap of information in a book somewhere doesn't mean we all find our way to it. Kind of like a needle in the haystack. I wonder how much wisdom there is out there in books now that may be life-changing to us, that we still haven't found? I imagine alot.

The only thing I was aware of at that time was the porn concept of She-males, and since I have always been binary thinking, I did not relate to that and rejected that idea. They were always portrayed as aggressive, masculine types who were very willing to penetrate their partner. But that is off-topic.

Yeah, that's true, I suppose, but I was always a bookworm seeking out info so it was something that I was into anyway. I never heard the term ">-bleeped-<" back then. I only saw the stupid tabloid talk shows of the day and they never used that term as far as I remember.

[Nemo]

I'll be 31 in August, so I just about fit the over 30s. Due to tons of confusion, trouble growing up/fitting in, lack of knowledge etc., I didn't properly do anything about it 'til mid-February - have now gone full-time while waiting for 1st GIC appointment

[Nero]

That's all well and good if you actually had access to such resources; for a child from a small rural community, there simply wouldn't be this option available.

And that's even assuming a confused kid would even know what to look for if there were such resources.

This isn't directed at you Laura, or anyone btw. It's just that this whole thing is put so much on the transsexual. And yet no one would ever dream of expecting a kid with any other rare condition to know the name of their problem and be able to research and tell adults what they need. Kids aren't just born knowing their ailments stem from leukemia or some other condition; someone has to tell them. And yet we fault ourselves for our lack of omniscience.

[cynthialee]

Well said Nero!

[justmeinoz]

Thanks Nero. 
If you live in a smaller community it is difficult to find information these days. It was even more difficult in years past, the average person would not have heard of GID in the 1970's or earlier in lots of places.

[SusanKG]

If you live in a smaller community it is difficult to find information these days. It was even more difficult in years past, the average person would not have heard of GID in the 1970's or earlier in lots of places.

If you are not a research wonk, even with the internet today valid and useful information is still hard to find. When I went to doctors in the early 70s, they did not really understand GID, let alone the general public. After running their standard (and profitable) bank of tests, they pronounced me "physically normal" or some such "be one your way now and sin no more" diagnosis.

Had I been a wonk, had I been diligent in working it through on my own, I would be 35 years ahead. Those who are and did, good for you; that is the way to be. As for me, I let life get in the way of full life.

And that's even assuming a confused kid would even know what to look for if there were such resources.
And yet no one would ever dream of expecting a kid with any other rare condition to know the name of their problem and be able to research and tell adults what they need. Kids aren't just born knowing their ailments stem from leukemia or some other condition; someone has to tell them. And yet we fault ourselves for our lack of omniscience.

Never better said Nero. And with our puritanical society, all things sexual are immediately directed under the carpet and out of sight-out of mind.

SusanKG

* edit for spelling. SusanKG *

[cynthialee]

I did try and transition at 22 but the pychologist I went to told my young and very impresionable self that I was a sexual deviant and I was going to ruin my life. He told me to stop wearing girls clothes, marry a good girl and have children and these feelings would go away.
Took me anouther 19 years before I started transition.
If I had been stronger mentaly, or had walked into the office of a good threpist I would have had a vastly diferant life. I believed what that Dr. told me. I took it too heart. I really thought that I had a serious psychosexual disorder for many years.
Thinking about it bring a fresh wash of old tears.

[caitlin_adams]

For the first time in my life I wrote down my history of gender incongruence  - a sizable post - and a paragraph or two before I would have finished, Safari on my iPhone crashes.

Ah well, I'll rewrite it another time.

I'm 26 this year and whilst I'm seeing a psychiatrist I haven't started HRT.

[katgirl74]

I had a failed start at 25, didn't meet the right people or have any resources at the time. Ended up finally transitioning at 34. While I wish I had done it when I was younger, I feel like this was the right time and place. I was in a better position to handle my transition in a mature and rational manner. This all resulted in great planning and I feel a better transition experience than I might have had when I was 25. Completely and totally happy with who I am today, and glad to be done with all the physical transition, now it's time to continue learning about who I am today. It's nice to finally live a life free of being unhappy and one that is free of pain.

[CynthiaAnn]

Fun to read this older post today, so my answer....

51, I waited long enough....

C -

[big kim]

32

[pamelatransuk]

I waited till 62 mainly due to social pressure and lack of confidence.

I am so happy for those who can now start at 22 or younger.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

[Quinn]

started at 50