Breaking the ice with parents

[shanetastic]

Okay, so I have a somewhat big dilemma that I've been contemplating on how to solve slowly over a gradual period.  My parents and I are sorta close and now that like FT and stuff is coming closer it's still really difficult for me to talk with them about transition and stuff.  On top of this problem, they have never seen me dressed or anything and I am just terrified of them seeing me dressed because of the awkwardness.

So, what I've been trying to do is think of very small gradual things that we can both do together to make this go easier.  The only problem with that, is that I have no idea what exactly to do.  If you have any suggestions on how to approach this situation please let me know.  I really need to do something about this, and I know it can only get easier in time (hopefully).

[Janet_Girl]

Do you live with them?  If not, maybe a phone call or letter, if you don't wish to do it face to face.

[shanetastic]

Do you live with them?  If not, maybe a phone call or letter, if you don't wish to do it face to face.

I don't live with them but I'm out to them and stuff and they know I want to go fulltime in the summer.  The problem is, I'm moving home in June until whenever I move out again. . . and eventually you know they'll have to see me actually dressed so I dunno how to get to that point

[Janet_Girl]

So show up for a visit, but warn them.  Let them meet their daughter.

[shanetastic]

So show up for a visit, but warn them.  Let them meet their daughter.

haha that's far too difficult for me :p  I dunno maybe I'll just talk to them about it sometime and see what they say about the whole thing.

[Janet_Girl]

you will need to do something before you move back that is for sure.   

Boy mode is a No-No.

[shanetastic]

you will need to do something before you move back that is for sure.   

Boy mode is a No-No.

Haha I know.  I'm just wondering the best way to ease them into it. 

Hrmmmmm. . .  I'll just ask them sometime how they would prefer to do it.

[Janet_Girl]

that would be best, but add what you need.

[justmeinoz]

You don't say how far away you parents live, but maybe you could invite the more approachable of them over to your place, and ask their opinion of an outfit or two? They would know you are serious but still value their opinion on things.

[Jasmine.m]

I agree that I would be apprehensive, too! Starting out in a strappy tank and mini might be a bit much for everyone!  Perhaps try baby steps to get you and them comfortable with things. Start out andro with no makeup, maybe just cute jeans and a t. Then add to that little by little. Continue taking steps to let them know you're serious, but let them (and you) aclimate over time.

Good luck!!

[barbie]

Maybe there are some cultural differences, but I think there are more common things... My 4 cents of advice is:

1. Act first, talk (or defend) later (they will try to speak to your first).
2. Step by step
3. Give them ample time to digest your transition and motives.
4. Make them be sure that you will be still a good child and an adult with successful career and stable income.

Barbie~~

[Metamorph]

Jasmine beat me to what i was gonna suggest. little steps like that will prepare them to see more as time goes by.

[shanetastic]

I'm actually with them this weekend so will discuss it today or tomorrow.  They realize I'm going fulltime and stuff and they keep telling me, "It'll only be awkward for you at first we're going to support you no matter what."  So I know they do mean what they say.  So I'll see what they opinion on the matter is.  I was thinking more so ever something like Jasmine's approach.  Everyone has had nice ideas so far, so maybe a little combination of everything could make for the easiest time.