So uhm yeah I was Fired today and Yeah...

[Binks]

I was fired today and I guess I need to start looking for new work any suggestions as to what to say about being transgender.

I have been stealth for nearly three years and have only worked at three places since going fulltime all three knew of my status either as I transitioned at work or before even applying. That has all changed now I am certain that I will probably not get some of the jobs I apply for because I am transgender.
If any do ask should I point blank tell them or try to skirt the issue ( no pun intended).

[Janet_Girl]

I am sorry, Binks.  Was it because you were trans? Or other.

I would look for work as you.  And if it comes up tell them the truth.

[Kristyn]

I was fired today and I guess I need to start looking for new work any suggestions as to what to say about being transgender.

I have been stealth for nearly three years and have only worked at three places since going fulltime all three knew of my status either as I transitioned at work or before even applying. That has all changed now I am certain that I will probably not get some of the jobs I apply for because I am transgender.
If any do ask should I point blank tell them or try to skirt the issue ( no pun intended).

Sorry to hear about your situation, but you are not alone.  I've been fired from all my jobs for some stupid reason or another-you get used to it after a while, at least I did.

I'm not sure which part of the world you are in, but here in Canada, asking someone about their sexuality, gender, age, etc. is illegal and are grounds for a discrimination complaint.  Even without those rules in place, I don't think that I would ever want to work for an employer who is so shallow.  Personally, if I were ever asked such a question, specifically if I was a man when I was presenting as female with all legal documentation in place, I would lean in, smile coyly and quietly ask "No, why?  Are you? ".

To answer your question, you should adamantly maintain your stance as a woman--that is, after all what you are, isn't it?

[glendagladwitch]

I think you'll find that in the States in the professional world there is an implicit "don't ask don't tell" policy regarding T status.  Even if they can tell from your records or for other reasons, I doubt that anything will be said to you, and being open about it can be a problem.  My impression after 20 years transitioned in the workplace is that you are expected to allow anyone who might have a problem with it to pretend it doesn't exist and just act professionally towards you.  But if you are putting it out there, you are making it a problem for those people.  You are expected to tolerate and accomodate them, even as they do the same to you, by making it a non-issue as much as possible.  The stressful part will be wondering whether or not they all know, or if you are really stealth.

[LordKAT]

I think you'll find that in the States in the professional world there is an implicit "don't ask don't tell" policy regarding T status.  Even if they can tell from your records or for other reasons, I doubt that anything will be said to you, and being open about it can be a problem.  My impression after 20 years transitioned in the workplace is that you are expected to allow anyone who might have a problem with it to pretend it doesn't exist and just act professionally towards you.  But if you are putting it out there, you are making it a problem for those people.  You are expected to tolerate and accommodate them, even as they do the same to you, by making it a non-issue as much as possible.  The stressful part will be wondering whether or not they all know, or if you are really stealth.

I wish this were true. It may be for administrative type work but not the blue collar stuff. If it is known at all, you can expect to be misgendered by at least some of your peers or co workers. I have the problem with largely 3 people at work in the office. All 3 admins of some sort.

[Kristyn]

Quite frankly, I'm just so tired of NON TRANS people and THEIR gender issues.  For the most part I don't seem to have too much trouble with the majority of men under 50 maybe 45 and younger women in their early to late teens and early twenties.  It's the women 30 and over who seem to have their claws out around me, especially lesbians, and I have no idea why.

As far as jobs go, I've become completely disillusioned after being let go from my last job of three years.  They treated me horribly and all I did was good work for them.  I'm through giving my all to a company only to sit spinning my wheels.  No more.  My efforts toward my next and future jobs will be slack at best unless they are willing to notice my capabilities and treat me fairly and equally.

[Kaori]

I was fired today and I guess I need to start looking for new work any suggestions as to what to say about being transgender.

I have been stealth for nearly three years and have only worked at three places since going fulltime all three knew of my status either as I transitioned at work or before even applying. That has all changed now I am certain that I will probably not get some of the jobs I apply for because I am transgender.
If any do ask should I point blank tell them or try to skirt the issue ( no pun intended).

Hello Binks,

I think you have some very real and honest answers in reply thus far.  And though I usually wax philosophical and go off on a tangent, I'll try to be direct here.

I think you should tell them point blank.

Having been full time for almost a year now and not passing flawlessly yet due mostly to my voice and more much needed electrolysis, I am fearful of attaining a new job myself.

I am fearful only because of my own fears.  I just moved to the West Coast and if an employer could simply value me as an employee rather than hiring me as some sort of trans or minority liability, things would go smoothly I am sure.

It is not my attempt to give you the "best advice possible" but this is simply my attempt to be real with you by relating to you my own fears and hopes.

If my employer can't see past the fact that I am trans, they don't deserve a dang thing that I can offer them as an employee.  But at the same time, I have to be willing to risk being 'real' with them, human resources and my immediate superior, if I hope to have a chance of being given a chance.

Hmm... I guess in summation I would say that I would be forthright with an employer and tell them what I expect of them; as much as I felt the cold and blind dismissal other employers simply for being who I am -- I will not only do my best for them, I will be up front with them.

Why would I do such a whimsical thing?  Because I expect my employer to go to bat for me and be up front with me about my own position.

And that's what it all boils down to for me.  I can't tell you how to carry that out, and I am not sure of exactly how I will do it myself, but that is exactly the approach I will be taking with my next employer.  And to be clear, it is not that I intend to be frank about me being trans -- it is the fact that if I expect my employer to be real and frank with me, I must be willing to be frank and honest with them.

That might get me screwed and fired.  That might keep me from being employed with some of my prospective employers.  That might make human resources work for their money.  But I don't care - I'm not going to tone things down and pretend crap.  I am me.  They can appreciate it and employ me or give me the respect of admitting that they have the capacity to deal with me or let me go/turn me down.

My job hunting is going to suck balls, haha.  And I don't particularly look forward to sucking anything.

Am I wrong here?  I just don't care to cover up anything anymore.  I just can't find a reason to do so in my own life, though I know everyone has their own agenda and reasons to hide/reveal things.


I wish you the best Binks.  Especially when it comes to employment matters.

[Smith]

hi Binks, I'm sorry to hear that.

May I know what was your background skill?
For me, Engineering is match for transgender people actually, because the Boss needs our skill, as long as we have what they need, they will accept us, no matter who we are, transgender or not, all the same, the problem is the people surround us, and maybe they don't like us as transgender. 

[Kristyn]

hi Binks, I'm sorry to hear that.

May I know what was your background skill?
For me, Engineering is match for transgender people actually, because the Boss needs our skill, as long as we have what they need, they will accept us, no matter who we are, transgender or not, all the same, the problem is the people surround us, and maybe they don't like us as transgender. 

You hit the nail right on the head, hun.  We're the BIG, BAD, SCARY TRANSSEXULS!  WATCH OUT!

[Smith]

hihihi...
hi sister Kristyn, I meant the other staffs in the office not in this forum....hihihi

You hit the nail right on the head, hun.  We're the BIG, BAD, SCARY TRANSSEXULS!  WATCH OUT!

[Kristyn]

hihihi...
hi sister Kristyn, I meant the other staffs in the office not in this forum....hihihi

I know you didn't mean anyone in the forum--it's the non-trans people.  Sorry for the misunderstanding 

[Smith]

Thanks sister Kristyn, so sorry, I'm sorry also to you all in this forum if you have feel that my statement to bewildered since my bad english.... sorry ladies

I know you didn't mean anyone in the forum--it's the non-trans people.  Sorry for the misunderstanding 

[Tammy Hope]

I was fired today and I guess I need to start looking for new work any suggestions as to what to say about being transgender.

I have been stealth for nearly three years and have only worked at three places since going fulltime all three knew of my status either as I transitioned at work or before even applying. That has all changed now I am certain that I will probably not get some of the jobs I apply for because I am transgender.
If any do ask should I point blank tell them or try to skirt the issue ( no pun intended).

As a GENERAL answer, my position is that if it is your intent to live full time as female, then apply and present as female and understand that you really don't want a job at a place that's going to have a problem with it.

that said, to your psecific situation, some more background (in as much as you feel comfortable revealing it) would be helpful:

1. what general location are you in? Are you prepeared or willing to relocate?

2. What field of expertise would you be applying to? for instance, jobs working in direct contact with the public might be more problematic than those "behind the scenes"

3. What (general) age range are you in?

4. What is your situation in terms of dependents? One can stand on principle a lot easier if they are not responsible for the support of spouse and children.

[Binks]

My background is mainly in direct customer service, Some call center and some retail. I have also worked in IT, As a machinist and as an automotive mechanic.

I have no issues working with the public I pass way to easily sometimes. My age range lets say I look younger then I am (30).

I am thinking about looking into the hotel management field again I did enjoy it when I was younger.

I guess my big issue is well telling potential employers and that costing me a job I might otherwise have gotten.

[Tammy Hope]

I would be more afraid of NOT telling them and that being used against you as having mislead them on your application.

if you pass that well, I would either:

1. try to stealth it (which is only possible if your papers don't out you); or

2. conduct the whole interview in (presumably) stealth and then tell them flat out you are trans and, hopefully, if this surprises them then they will have a full appreciation of the unlikelyhood you will be clocked by customers.

Presuming that #1 above is impossible for you, I'd consider telling them to be pretty much a slam dunk option here.

where it get's tricky is for those of us who are only marginally passing and for whom the potential employer might worry that customers or other employees will be alienated by our presence.


Oh, and for what it's worth, I live in Mississippi and applied in full female presentation at a local Lowe's and while it turned out to be the wrong opportunity (a seasonal job) I didn't get any sense from the interviewer that it would be a problem.

So it's difficult to anticipate where you will and won't find acceptance.