I can actually totally relate to this..
In order to pass, you can't really wear makeup, or wear anything remotely feminine..
A few months into living fulltime as male, I found myself missing some of those things.. especially the makeup..
I had this identity crisis too..
Eventually I figured out that I'm happy being male, but I occasionally like to dress in drag.. so I became a drag queen.. haha..
I enjoy it alot.. and the best part is.. I can take the costume off at the end of the night. It's merely a character I play now.. not my identity. You know?
That makes it better. And I can play with makeup and cute clothes without having to live as a girl.
I'm just a gay boy who does drag.. and that's pretty common in cisgendered gay boys.. so why not, right? =)
