meeting my boyfriends mom tomorrow! Im NERVOUS

[Elijah3291]

Yea so.. I think I will be going to ihop to meet his mom.. his mom is used to him dating girls.. and he has never dated a guy before.. much less a transguy.

She knows about my trans status.. when I first saw her (we didnt really meet, just said hi) he later asked my bf if I was a lesbian (UGHHHHH) and he had to tell her that.. NO, Im a guy stuck in a girls body.. AND his boyfriend.

anyway.. she thinks Im crazy.. and she actually told my boyfriend that he needs to date someone "normal" (thats what he told me)

Ive never met the parents of anyone Im dating, and Im worried that Im going to have to spend the time teaching her about trans stuff (which gets REALLY old!) I want her to get to know ME, not me.. and omg it is trans.

any advice?

[cynthialee]

When ever trans topics come up get a bored look about you without showing any anxiousness, and try and stear the conversation to other topics. Try and keep the conversation about her son. Moms love to talk about their sons so long as it is positive. When you exhaust your BF then become interested in her and her acomplishments. Try and stay at the surface of topics, do not get too deep.

Keep all conversation about yourself to a minimum as that will lead to trans again.
Be a guy. Do not fidget or look nervous. Own the space you take up and be your own man. (while respecting everyone elses feelings and ego') Simple stuff. 

Good luck dude.

[notyouraverageguy]

Just be yourself.
Since she thinks ur not normal and crazy itd probably be a waste of time to try to sit there and explain it all to her. Close minded ppl like that are hard to get through to, its up to u to either try and try and try or just not try at all.

[no_id]

Personally I don't think you need to worry at her shooting ?-flares at you. People tend to avoid subjects they're uncomfortable talking about, and from what I read she's not exactly feeling snuggly toward your transstatus. Thus, chances are she'll do anything in her 'power' to avoid talking about it - your 'frightening' stories might cause her to check under her bed and her closets before sleeping..

So, in my opinion best you can do is land a good first impression by being yourself and probably pick up some of the things Cynth lay out in her post. If mum does launch a canonball just keep your answers short and simple; "So.. You're a guy?", "Yes. I'm really glad to finally meet you, I care a whole lot for your son." Just my paired cents.