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FTM: Bi? Gay?

Started by accord03, May 21, 2010, 07:19:27 AM

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accord03

No offence but I'm gonna be blunt and honest. I feel a little weird about same sex esp two guys. I know gender and sexuality is different. And I don't understand how some FTM can be bi or gay? If you were attracted to males, wouldnt of you just stayed female. I don't have any homosexual friends and I don't like going to homosexual places...Pls, make me understand and open my mind up :)
I'm not trying to start anything. Just being honest.
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LordKAT

Not only is gender and sexuality different, so is sex and gender. Your orientation or sexuality as you put it is only who you are attracted to. You seem to get that part. Sex is the physical part, the differing genitals. You sort of get that. Gender is how you perceive yourself. You know (at least I did) from little on whether you are  a boy or a girl. You don't necessarily know about opposite genitalia at that age.


Does that help?
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accord03

#2
So, FTM who are bi or gay is attracted to two guys having sex? And not doing the straight way like vagina and penis?
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cynthialee

I am into females. Yes I have male equipment. So the thought is well you have the right equipment to have sex with women.
That isnt enough. Gender does not dictate sexual preferance, nor the other way around.
I can tottaly understand why an FTM who is into men would still transition. Just because the equipment is compatable doesnt make the outward presentation compatable with the inside.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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accord03

I don't get it and I never will. But is it possible for a transguy to be homophobic?  ???
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LordKAT

Quote from: accord03 on May 21, 2010, 07:42:43 AM
I don't get it and I never will. But is it possible for a transguy to be homophobic?  ???
Of course. But why fear homosexuals?
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cynthialee

I doubt you are homophobic. Just sounds like you are not into gay sex, that isnt homophobia.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/homophobia
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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accord03

Yeah, I don't like gay sex. I think it's gross and I would never be friend a homosexual cause lesbians are butchy and gays are abnormal. Maybe, I am insecure deep inside like I don't wanna be around those type of people cause I don't wanna seem like I'm one of them cause I like knowing and people seeing me as a total guy.
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Inkwe Mupkins

what if u had a friend and that person decided to come out would u still be friends?
Islam means peace.
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Papillon

LordKAT, I imagine and would hope that you are being somewhat facitious with that response.  Homophobia in common usage doesn't mean fear of homosexuals but a negative attitude towards them.  I am guessing that this is what accord03 meant.

accord03, I can understand your confusion on this and I hope that the other comments on this thread about the difference between sex, gender and sexual orientation have helped.

From a personal viewpoint, I am biologically female and happen to find males sexually attractive.  Fine so far.  But I identify as male and this is where you confusion comes in, I guess.  So, am I a straight woman or a gay man?  I identify as the latter.

As for the possibility of transpeople being homophobic, of course they can be.  We all have prejudices of some sort, even if we like to kid ourselves that we don't.  However, one would hope that, with their experience of the wide varieties of the possible permutations and combinations of gender identity and the difficulty this can raise, they would be in the best position to accept, if not understand. 

However, we all from different backgrounds and the beliefs instilled in us by what we hear around us can be difficult to shift.  There may also be self-protective reasons why you find homosexuality offensive.  Who knows.

But good for you for making an attempt to get to grips with the understandably complex situation.  More power to your elbow.
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cynthialee

Quote from: accord03 on May 21, 2010, 08:00:56 AM
Yeah, I don't like gay sex. I think it's gross and I would never be friend a homosexual cause lesbians are butchy and gays are abnormal. Maybe, I am insecure deep inside like I don't wanna be around those type of people cause I don't wanna seem like I'm one of them cause I like knowing and people seeing me as a total guy.
I was wrong. You are homophobic.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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accord03

I doubt my friends would ever come out.


Pap - Yeah. That's the confusion part. I guess I just have to keep reading around and trying to understand more about it. I thought it was weird for me to be homophobic but when you broke it down, it was true. Guess everyone is different.

Post Merge: May 21, 2010, 08:13:55 AM

Yeah, I think I am homophobic and that's weird  ::)
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Inkwe Mupkins

well what if one of em did would u still be there for them u cant tell if someones gay if there supressing it. i know one of my friend said that if one of his close friends came out has gay he would never be friends again and that to me seems sad because there the same person theres absolytly nothing different when they were friends. im having problems with my sexuality because i think im finding females somewhat attractive but im a bio female so im staying asexual till i get surgery.
Islam means peace.
  •  

accord03

I'll freak out esp if its one of my boys cause the girls I know always joke about being in love with a girl but I know they're just messing. I don't know what I'll do, I never actually thought bout it. Maybe, I'll be distant with them
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LordKAT

Papillon,

I was not being facetious. Homophobia is a fear of homosexuals. This fear is what often gives the negative actions you find from their words and behavior.

Main Entry: ho·mo·pho·bia
Pronunciation: \ˌhō-mə-ˈfō-bē-ə\
Function: noun
Date: 1969

: irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals

— ho·mo·pho·bic \-ˈfō-bik\ adjective

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/homophobia


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Inkwe Mupkins

i think u should open up a little try not to be so close-minded cause if one of ur boys came out he'd be expecting u to be there to not turn him away cause u were his friend before. maybe not. to me a friend is someone that will stick by u no matter what if u come out gay or trans they will still be there and if they wont then they were never ur friend in the first place.
Islam means peace.
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accord03

But seriously my friends can't come out. They're homophobics  ::)
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Papillon

LordKat, I don't want to get into a battle of semantics in accord03's thread, but the reference to homophobia as being a fear of homosexuals, as opposed to being a negative attitude towards them, is often used a ploy by which to undermine the homophobic (being afraid of something doesn't detract from its worth.  Being disgusted by it does.  Also, no one wants to be thought of as being afraid of something they despise). 

I am not assuming that this was the trick you were trying to pull, but I guess I just have an oversensitivity to the use of this meaning when it is often not what is implied when used by someone who is, or suspects themselves to be, homophobic.  And I really don't think accord03 meant that he was scared of homosexuals, just that he found the whole subject to be distasteful at present. [/semantic rant]
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Inkwe Mupkins

technically if im attracted to females that makes me gay and i used to be the most homophopic out there but lately its kinda been freakin me out so i dont really judge gays as much anymore. same goes for trans a ftm could were the friliest dresses and play with dolls and be really girly on the outside but on the inside feel male.
Islam means peace.
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cynthialee

Quote from: mcalistershaun on May 21, 2010, 08:41:35 AM
technically if im attracted to females that makes me gay and i used to be the most homophopic out there but lately its kinda been freakin me out so i dont really judge gays as much anymore. same goes for trans a ftm could were the friliest dresses and play with dolls and be really girly on the outside but on the inside feel male.
If you are FTM and are sexualy atracted to females you are a strait male. A FTM can be a gay male but not a dyke.
So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.
Sun Tsu 'The art of War'
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