Estranged from Parents

[Arch]

The minute i get out of this house, I'm not going to even look back.

Don't let anyone guilt you into staying in contact if you don't feel right about it. Too many people think it's unnatural for a kid to cut off his or her parents--and they are only too willing to tell you that, again and again and again. So stick by your guns.

[harlee]

I still live at home, and dont really have a choice till Im 18  I dont really talk to my mum and dad about being trans tho, I dont really have a good open relationship with them, and I dont feel comfortable saying stuff  Which I guess kinda sucks! I pretty much am on my own through this. I had to ride my own bike down to the hairdresser to get my hair cut, my mum and dad were so angry, had a lecture on "skipping school"  Now Ive gotta afford my own binder...preparing myself for trouble again! Ahh they wont be too happy finding this one. Im gonna get a huge lecture on the safteys of buying stuff over the internet yay! Im so happy they are at least paying for therapy

I still get called by my birth name and am she'd by everyone except the few friends I have that know my situation...problem is they live a little over an hour away, so I rarely see them  I swear they are the only people that understand me! 

[insanitylives]

Don't let anyone guilt you into staying in contact if you don't feel right about it. Too many people think it's unnatural for a kid to cut off his or her parents--and they are only too willing to tell you that, again and again and again. So stick by your guns.

Sometimes it's not even that easy though. I have two kid brothers. When I'm 18 neither will be in middle school yet (one just starting kindergarten, hopefully)
Getting out and living your life, definatly a plus. But the guilt of leaving siblings behind in a situation that's less than great, on top of what you said about people thinking it's wrong to just cut off your parents... it's a tough call sometimes.

[Arch]

Sometimes it's not even that easy though. I have two kid brothers. When I'm 18 neither will be in middle school yet (one just starting kindergarten, hopefully)
Getting out and living your life, definatly a plus. But the guilt of leaving siblings behind in a situation that's less than great, on top of what you said about people thinking it's wrong to just cut off your parents... it's a tough call sometimes.

Well, I was assuming that Aydan wouldn't be in such a situation, especially since he did express his determination to never look back. But I hear what you're saying. I once met a gal who suffered from tremendous guilt because she left a younger sister behind with a molesting father. (Privately, I thought that she might have been able to take more action than she did after she left home, but I understand the guilt and the pull back to a toxic family.)

I had no such pull--I was the last child to leave the nest--and yet I still let my then-partner, my friends, and my coworkers push me into reopening contact with my parents. "What can it hurt? It's only letters." Well, it hurt a lot. It was all long-distance, but it figuratively tore me apart. With regard to my folks, I sure didn't suffer from the Stockholm Syndrome.

Nobody's fault but mine...and I let my parents be a m-m-monkey on my back for far too long.

Never again. That b**** had no business having children.

[aydan_boy]

I can sympathise with you insanitylives. I have two siblings as well. When i'm 18, one of them will be in gr 6, and the other just starting elementary. Its hard to leave them when you love them, especially when they don't understand why "mommy and me can't just get along". I worry that they'll hate me, or what i am, cuz its causing them to leave them, and pull away. You think i should tell my lil bro now about me? Or does this just cause more misunderstanding between siblings...

[austin86]

my dads not in the picture but my mom is. i first came out as a lesbian and she pretty much told me i was going to hell. we didnt talk much and she hated my girlfriends. she told me i was not going to make it into gods paradise at the end of the world lol.

i came out to my mom as trans about a year ago. she told me that some women are more masculine than other women and thats ok. i was like no mom, im not a woman. she finally got it but was upset. she said god wouldnt want this for me and that im better than this choice. i dont believe in god but i said to her "mom god made a mistake" and she said "god doesnt make mistakes". so needless to say she was not pleased. for the longest time she would still use female pronouns and my given name.

about 4 months ago she finally started to come around. i dunno why but she did. she sent me a birthday card and used my male name which i think is easy for her cuz AJ is gender neutral. she even corrects herself sometimes when she says my given name. she will not use male pronouns but will say "you" or "yours" to avoid saying "she" which is nice. and she actually refers to my girlfriend as my girlfriend not my room mate, finally. she is still not happy but knows that i am serious about this. she says she loves me no matter what.

she is a religious woman and very reserved. she is extremely worried bout how i make her look and things like that. i was very estranged from her for awhile. she is the last person that i expected to come around and she has in her own way. so theres always hope