Feeling like ending it need help

[Deanna_Renee]

But without an education we are all destined to remain at the very bottom of the heap, at the mercy of any who fancy a bit of bullying.

Education is the only real route out. It absolutely must come first, I strongly suggest.

Umm. not so much. Some of the wealthiest business people in the world: Richard Branson, Paul Allen, John Paul DeJoria, Felix Dennis, Barry Diller and many others have made it to the top of their industries with little not college education. I did perfectly well for most of my life without going to college. In fact I was 43 before I went to college. I am now working on my Masters at 48, but I have had a few very good careers over the interim years.

I think the motivation to get out and make something of yourself, even if it is to prove your mom wrong, can be a very, very powerful factor towards success. Get through high school as best you can. Keep yourself focussed on your future goals. Set yourself very positive goals and believe that they can be achieved and keep your mind on those and what it will take to reach them and work everyday to get there. Be strong and you can do it. Will it be easy? NO, not at all. Will it be worth it in the end? If you apply yourself and work at it diligently, most certainly it will be worth every drop of sweat and tears.

[Randi]

Hi,

I agree with the other posters-stick to what you know to be right and keep the thought that your life is important. This situation is only temporary and will be behind you before you know it. You are the same age as my son-this next year will go bye so fast then you can decide where to go next. Hang on a little longer.

Randi

[Muddy]

I guess the thing that always comes into my mind when suicide starts looking tempting, is the knowledge that Brandon Teena's mother buried him as a girl.

His headstone reads:
Teena Brandon
Daughter, Sister, Friend

I just cling to the knowledge that this isn't my life.
This is some girl's life, that I was never supposed to have.
I haven't had MY life yet.  I haven't been the man I was supposed to be.

I just have struggle through until the day I get to be ME.
I don't want to die, never having lived.

[spacial]

Deanna_Renee.

I do understand and appreciate your point. There are notable exceptions.

Paul MacCartney is worth almost a billion (sterling).

But realistically speaking, an education is what most ordinary mortals, without tons of luck need.

mcalistershaun has only one year left.

I'm sorry to be stubborn here, but citing a few example, even a few thousand examples doesn't mean that not having an education is no barrier to any sort of success.

I also have to say that it seems a tab bit irresponsible to suggest otherwise.

mcalistershaun has a big battle ahead. He has this chance of an education. OK, so he might go back later to finish, but realistically, his chances deminish the moment he walks away.

He has come this far in his transision. Putting it on hold for a year isn't going to cause him any serious problems. He can pick up later with little difficulity.

I'm not talking form the point of view of someone without any personal experience. I'm totally sympathetic of his desire to transision and fully understand how important it is.

I also think I understand his home situation. An over bearing mother who has developed some serious problems of her own to be frank.

But sometimes we all need to get our priorities straight.

Sorry, I think you're wrong here and I really hope mcalistershaun takes my advice and sticks out his final year.

But whatever he does, we will all continue to support him.

[LordKAT]

No one is saying not to finish his final year. I agree he should finish high school. The part about college is different.

[Deanna_Renee]

Spacial,

I am not denying that a college education would be of great benefit for the OP, or anyone else for that matter, but he is looking at one more year of HIGH school, not college. It is, I believe, more important to finish high school and get out of this environment and set up a new life for himself. Then, he can work towards college.

The idea of struggling through another year of high school then making a life for himself is far more responsible than asking him to endure a year of high school and four years of college where he feels utterly alone. If however, he could finish high school and get into a college away from his current condition, that would be a great situation.

[Inkwe Mupkins]

You guys have been loads of help. Your the only ones that seem to care and I don't even know you. That means a lot.

I want to go to college in Alaska or another country. I want get as far away as possible.

My grades went down the tubes and I got 2 d- this year. What college would want me now. My gpa went from a 3.6 to a measly 3.3 Oh well.
I guess it happens.

If anything I could be a cop. I hope they don't need college or I could join the canadas military.

[Devin87]

Dude.  A 3.3 is still a pretty dang respectable GPA.  Why would you beat yourself up over that?  If your grades this year are different from years past, colleges will recognize that anomaly and usually they ask you to explain why or you can volunteer the information that you had all this stuff going on in your life and if you bring your grades back up next year (go to the library every day after school-- a nice, quiet, solitary place where you can get out the house and help your grades at he same time) colleges will think nothing of it.

[Muddy]

The really easy way around a rough-looking HS transcript is to go to Community/Jr College.

Its cheaper than going straight to a four year school anyway.

[Devin87]

The really easy way around a rough-looking HS transcript is to go to Community/Jr College.

Its cheaper than going straight to a four year school anyway.

Yeah, but he wants to get away from home.

[Muddy]

Which he can still absolutely do.

He can apply for the FAFSA through the school, NOT using his parents info.  There are exceptions to having to have your parents info on the FAFSA in cases of abuse [to include emotional abuse, which is what is happening here.]

With student loans and federal aid, he could afford to move away from home and rent a small apartment and attend community college just as easily as he could a four year university, AND avoid the issue of having some negative marks on his high school transcript.

Although, even with some bad grades, he could just as easily be accepted into a four year school.  It just takes communication with the admissions department to explain what you've been dealing with through your transition and with your home life.

[Nicky]

Have you considered contacting social services about your home environment? It is a pretty drastic step, but they may be able to help you our.

[LordKAT]

Have you considered contacting social services about your home environment? It is a pretty drastic step, but they may be able to help you our.

or make it ten times worse.

[Nimetön]

My mom is constantly telling me I'm never gonna make it in society and that I'll always be lost because I don't believe in doin drugs, sex before marriage, hurting others, and stealing. She tells me I'm pathetic because I don't lie and I don't make others feel as low as possible.

She always complains about taking me to the doctor because she doesn't see my health is important. She tells me I'm stupid and that society thinks like her.

Your mother sounds rather like mine; I was raised by a liberal feminist who believed quite firmly in this sort of behavior, and spoke much as you describe.  I have since accomplished things that she and her daughters can scarcely dream of, precisely because of the integrity and discipline that I cultivated against her wishes.

It is difficult (and irrational) to have faith in a future that you can only imagine; I suggest that you search for people who value morality to the degree that you do, who have in the present what you wish to have in the future, and take your encouragement from their friendship and example.

- N

P.S. And with regard to society...