Men VS Women

[accord03]

Lately, I've noticed that most guys are going through similiar stuff with the ladies. I never tried or bothered to understand the mind of a woman but after talking to a few guys about my relationship, we all came to realisation that our girls act similiar. So, I want the opinions and suggestions from the ladies. Though, I was born bio female I have no female characteristics at all. My mind and my life runs like a bio male. Here it is.


I've noticed that my GF is extremely "dangerous" when she's on her period. I usually would get into an arguement but for the last few months, after studying the changes in her made me avoid arguements at the end of the month but I can't get away from it. She complained to me today that I never tell her how proud I am of her, compliment or say anything that is supportive. I stayed quiet cause whatever I said would of been attacked. I am PROUD of her, I think she is the most beautiful woman on earth and I am very supportive of her but I don't say it out loud. She gets very angry when I ask her what she wants me to do, i it's like she expects me to read her mind and know what she wants. I also don't take notice of the things she does, I know which is bad but I don't think its neccessary to state my opinion on everything she does or does it really matter to a woman? Why does it matter? Why do girls wanna hear this sort of things from guys? How do we start taking notice of the things she does? How do we read their minds? (LOL quiet impossible cause they're always changing.) Pls tell me your opinions girls! So, I know abit of how your minds work.

[Little Dragon]

Hmm.. well, it seems like she probably doesn't feel very special to you lately, especially during the end of the month where her feelings are particularly sensitive. I know that I really really like knowing frequently that I'm exceptionally special to my boyfriend, im sure a lot of girls can agree with me that if you assume she knows this and never say, you'll appear kind of cold ^^ You should treat her with flowers or chocolates, send her a brief text saying "im thinking about you "  when shes not there, or maybe give her some TLC one night (nice luxury bath together and a massage - omg id love that <3)

Hope my hints help your love life

[Dryad]

I try to do something for my partner every day. Cook a special meal, make her small treats, make her lunch and coffee ready for her when she gets out of bed, and I'm not sleeping, anyway.. I tell her I love her each and every day, and I try to tell her how special and important she is to me, too.

And she does, vice versa. I have to confess that, when she doesn't tell me for some time, I'll get a bit insecure. Even though I know better, it's not how I feel.. And at the end of the month, I just do need a little more attention than usual. I don't know; it's the time where I get cranky, head-aches, restlessness, tired.. I don't feel attractive, neither physical nor emotional. (Well; I never feel physically attractive, but hey..) I also feel it's terribly unfair; she doesn't get periods because she rarely takes breaks from the pill. I don't have woman-bits, and I get messed up each month. 

So yes; loving her, being proud of her, adoring her.. It's really brilliant, but you have to tell her. Let her know. Even íf she knows; knowing isn't always enough. You want to hear it from their lips. Confirmed.
Trust me; you can never get enough 'I love you's, 'you're pretty's, and stuff like that.
Bút.. It has to feel heartfelt, too.
Demanding, much? I guess...

Edit: As for why do women want to hear it?
I think it's down to behavioural biology, really. There are, statistically, more women than men. Humans are, by nature, mostly monogamous. So when a woman gets a man, or partner, from a biological point of view, she needs to keep him/her/them. It's wired into the system. So if a partner shows they appreciate you, they ease the instinctive unease.
At least; that's what I've learnt in biology. I could be wrong, of course.

[K8]

She complained to me today that I never tell her how proud I am of her, compliment or say anything that is supportive. I stayed quiet cause whatever I said would of been attacked. I am PROUD of her, I think she is the most beautiful woman on earth and I am very supportive of her but I don't say it out loud. She gets very angry when I ask her what she wants me to do, i it's like she expects me to read her mind and know what she wants. I also don't take notice of the things she does, I know which is bad but I don't think its neccessary to state my opinion on everything she does or does it really matter to a woman? Why does it matter? Why do girls wanna hear this sort of things from guys? How do we start taking notice of the things she does? How do we read their minds? (LOL quiet impossible cause they're always changing.) Pls tell me your opinions girls! So, I know abit of how your minds work.

She just needs to hear you say it - you are proud of her, you think she is beautiful, you love her.  She's not a mind reader either, so she wants you to tell her.  She's with you because she thinks you're special.  She just needs you to tell her that you think she is special, too.

But beware: If you say it like "this is what I should say so I'll say it" she will be able to tell.  I know, it's tough being a guy.  (I never could manage it very well. )  Guys don't tell what's in their hearts, and that is why when you do it'll mean a lot more to her.

OK.  Let's try it:  "I love you."  That wasn't too hard was it?  "I really liked how you did *whatever*."  A little harder, I know.  "You look especially beautiful tonight."  Hmmm.  Maybe we'll save that for Lesson 2.

- Kate

[kyril]

Thread filed under "reasons why I'm glad I'm gay"

But if you're straight, and you want to be with women (and I know from your other threads that you do), then you have to close that gender gap somehow. You have to do and say the things that make her happy, even if you think she's bat->-bleeped-<- f'ing crazy for wanting those things. And you will sometimes. Women are pretty different from men both biologically and by socialization. You want different things from your partner, and you want to give different things to your partner - that's the source of the heterosexual, complementary, yin/yang beauty of your relationship. So you learn what you need to do, and you do it. It's the price you pay for the privilege of being with a girl. And it absolutely is a privilege.

It sounds like you have a pretty clear idea of what she wants you to do - spontaneously compliment her, tell her you're proud of her, tell her you love her and you think she's beautiful, take notice of the little things she does for you, express your appreciation when she does something you like. The problem is that you don't see why you should have to do it. And there's your answer. She doesn't have to explain why these things make her happy - and she probably won't be able to, not in language you can understand, nor will the ladies here because straight men and women speak different languages when it comes to what they want in relationships. All she has to do is express that this is what she wants, and you do it (within reasonable limits - and saying nice things to her/noticing what she does is absolutely reasonable), because it makes her happy. You don't have to pretend to understand.

[accord03]

Wow! Thanks lads and ladies Yeah, I suppose I just need to open up to her abit more and realise that she's a woman and wanna hear this sort of stuff. I do tell her I love her and miss her but apart from that, there is nothing I do for her which I seriously should start.


Little Dragon - What is TLC? LOL. I keep thinking 'Table Ladders and chairs' wrestling! See, my mind just doesn't work in sweet romantic ways which is disturbing. Yeah, I think I'll give her a little note and give her a gift or something to show my appreciation to her.

Dryad - You may not have the female bits but you're still a woman cause of your characterisitics and traits. I do feel it in my heart and I guess I just need to confirm it with my lips, like you said. Yes, girls are really demanding but I guess I gotta get used to it if I wanna spend it with one my whole life. Lol.


K8 - LOL yeah! I really need those lessons. Sometimes, I do say it to her but I'll look away when I do cause it's a bit embarrising coming from a guy...saying and doing those sort of stuff. In my opinion anyways, dont wanna seem pussywhipped or a wuss. I really need to get that thought out of my head.


Kyril - Yep! It is really hard to be with a girl but that's the joy of being different sexes. Very true when you said she doesn't need to explain why these things make her happy. Thankyou for breaking it down

[Cindy]

Little gifts at unexpected times. A kiss and a cuddle for just having a cuddle. Lots of guys don't realise that girls are quite competitive between each other. That's often why we want to look nice etc. Not only 'cos it feels nice but also so look better (or as good) than other girls.  Just to be told by your fella that you look good does things to you making you feel mushy.

There is nothing so horrible as feeling lousy and emotional, come home and your man walks in and says where's dinner? If you pick her moods why not walk in kiss her and say lets go out for dinner (unless she has already cooked it )

Love is a two way street and guys are sometimes not on the same street at al :laugh:l

Cindy

[uni]

Like everyone else has been saying, you have to constantly remind her of how you really feel about her. Girls want your actions to match your words and showing her your love her isn't enough. Girls have the tendency to overanalyze everything and if your words don't align with your actions, then she may think something is missing or that her feelings for you aren't being returned.

On the otherhand, can she take compliments or does she respond with, "I look horrible" (when you say she's beautiful) or "If you loved me than why do you..." (when you tell her you love her)? If so, she has many insecurities about herself and lacks the confidence to accept them. This very common and often is the reason guys are afraid to compliment their girl in the first place. No guy deserves to be attacked when he says something sweet even if she disagrees.

The bottem line is she wants to hear it from you.  It's such a simple gesture and I don't think I will ever understand why its so hard for guys to do.