Urgh

[Berren]

My life has managed to spiral downward drastically in the last few days.
All the arrangements my mum and dad had are off, so they're back to hating each other, and their solicitors are screwing them both over for money they don't have. I'm unsure what's happening with their divorce, if they go through with it me and my dad might be out of a house. My mum was drunk last night and she decided to shout about me being trans, so now my sister knows, she isn't phased by it, which I was expecting, but I'm worried about my mum telling anyone else when she decided to get drunk. This has happened numerous times with both me, and other people's secrets/problems that they decided to tell her, I'm just going to not tell her anything from now on because I can't risk her being pissed and spouting it to people. On the plus side, I learned that I shouldn't be worried about telling my dad stuff; yesterday night he said that even though he didn't agree with me being trans he didn't 'mind' it, or get angry over it, he was okay with me buying a binder too. And speaking of binders; mine was supposed to arrive yesterday, and it still isn't here, ugh.
*sigh*
Post Merge: May 27, 2010, 09:01:12 AM
Pfft. My day is going great. My mum just went out drunk, and she started saying how she's the only one who accepts me, and she said that it was 'a lot to take in' and it's almost like she's blaming me for her drinking/depression. She said that my sister told her she didn't want anything to do with me and that she thought I was a freak, even though she seemed completely okay with it yesterday night? She also mentioned how much my dad hates me for this, and if it got to a stage where I started taking hormones/getting surgery, he'd 'leave'. It seems like the only one who is 'accepting' to the degree that they don't try to change my opinion and say I'm 'being stupid', is abusive and will probably want to use it against me at some point. 

update may 28th
So I over heard my sister talking to my mum (in my mum's room, not that far away from mine) and I'm going to bullet point what she said because it's easier to remember individual segments rather than the whole thing, plus I didn't hear what my mum was saying; sorry for expletives. :x

• I just hate people who are so f***ed up in their head
• If she honestly wants to have a penis she'll just end up a weird freak and will be outcasting herself from anyone normal
• She'll only get in with other freaks, because anyone normal would be deeply offended by that kind of thing
• Since she'll only get in with other freaks, she might end up influencing normal people.
• She is so far in her own little fantasy land, her head is unbelievably f***ed up
• I know there are women out there with their hair cut short but it doesn't mean they want to be a guy, if they told me they did I'd find it f***ing scary
• (Saying this to my mum) and don't you encourage her, tell her that her head is really f***ing messed up
• She wants to get back to school, force her to go

I also heard her mention something like 'I'll tell her,' but I didn't catch a lot of it because it's noisy downstairs. I seriously hope she doesn't start arguing with me, or out me when people are here/ at all. :|

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS?

Wish I was older and could move out. I don't have anyone's house I can crash at either.

[notyouraverageguy]

Im sorry you have to go through this,
But at least its only one person giving you problems &not your whole family.

Why won't you &your dad have a place to go if you don't mine me asking, &what about your sister?

[Berren]

I dunno about 'just one person'. My sister said she didn't want to talk to me when I said hi to her a little while ago; I imagine she'll just ignore me rather than abuse me though. But I have two other siblings, and if they found out I dunno what would happen. My mum might end up causing even more trouble by talking about this to everyone, and I know at least one of my two other sisters would hate me even more for this. But at least my dad seems okay-ish with it..

But with the divorce, my mum won't accept the highest amount my dad can offer her if he re-mortgages the house, so it'll have to get sold. My older sister lives with me, my mum and my dad (and our dog) in this house, so she'll have to get a flat somewhere, idk.

Nonetheless, I appreciate your concerns, ccc.

[notyouraverageguy]

Hmmm,
Well maybe a divorce &you getting stuck with your dad will be a good thing for you.
And maybe you could just try explaining things to the sister that knows already.
Tell her you love her &need her right now.

It really sucks that your mom has this problem &can/will be outting you to everyone.
All I can say is maybe have a talk with your mom, see if she'll  get help &let her know that she's really hurting you by telling ppl.

[VampyreAri]

Well it is a hormone imbalance in that you have girl hormones when you should have boy hormones and body. Therefore: Imbalance. But I think that argument would just make them more miffed at you.
Sorry to hear about your family being... not your biggest supporters... But wow... your mum seems kinda... obnoxious when drunk... No offense. And your sister... is just plain not nice, it seems...
But at least your dad just seems to be in some sort of denial... That's better than him outright hating it...
Good luck dude... I hope at least your dad comes around.

[Silver]

And whenever I've talked to my mum she always uses my age against me, 'because you're young, you don't know what you're talking about' sort of thing. And then she always says 'well what if you had it all done, and regretted it?'. 

My mom used to do this. She had this sort of, "don't get rid of the breasts, what if you want to feel pretty for a man in the future?" I hope it gets better for you, sorry there's nothing I can really do.