My dad is a jerk!

[JyPPe]

Well, the situation is this:

I'm out and I'm proud that I was able to speak out of what's going on my mind... My friend are doing good work by being my support, wanting to know how I feel and how my transition is going...
My mother is taking this just perfect and my cousins, well, they treat me like I was man already, which makes me feel good... BUT, then then there is my dad...

I've heard him say, how he should have never get married and have children... He said that straight to me... Also, once he was talking to me, asking if I ever watch L word... If I ever noticed how happy and full life lesbians can live... I tried to explain him, that even I am in relationship with a girl, and he sees me as a girl, I'm not... After that, he seriously got mad! He was shouting at me, how I should try love myself how I am, how he loves me how I am... He asked me, if I really think person can be changed with a knife... And how hormons only make me go crazy... And at the end he just said, how I will never become a man.

After that, I been so scared... Will I lose my dad after I start T? I mean, I'm not gonna step out of this... This is what I want, and I'm gonna live my life how I feel is right, not how my dad wants me to live it... But still, I kinda feel like I should say something to my dad... I just don't know what... Or, is there anything left to say anymore!? Anything needed to say...? Right now it feels, dad is only one who can make me cry... He's always been the person, I wanted to be like! I wanted to be like my father.. and then, then I see he's a transphopic - or.. at least it seems like it for now! - and don't really want me to be who I really am!

[Linus]

How long has it been since you've told him? It sounds like fears are coming out. He may just need time to see that you are happier with yourself under transition than prior. You can still be like your father, just sans the transphobic part. It is part of becoming the man you are: you are made up of your role models as well as the experiences you have gone through.

[JyPPe]

Well, from the first time I speak about it.. been a bit more than year now, I think...

But, it's kinda funny... that my dad has that kind of opinion, when his big brother (who lives with us) is totally ok with it and pretty much feel like a dad for me nowadays! I guess, that's a good thing, that when things aren't always so ok with my real dad, I still have someone to count on?

[Linus]

Well, from the first time I speak about it.. been a bit more than year now, I think...

But, it's kinda funny... that my dad has that kind of opinion, when his big brother (who lives with us) is totally ok with it and pretty much feel like a dad for me nowadays! I guess, that's a good thing, that when things aren't always so ok with my real dad, I still have someone to count on?

Yes. That's always important. As long as you have some kind of support structure in place it's a good thing.

[barbie]

Talking is necessary, but too much does not guarentee what you want.

Just do it.

Barbie~~

[Inkwe Mupkins]

My mom is similar. However, I dont look up to her and she has never been there for me.

I've never had a father, but you could try to explain that you've always looked up to him. Tell him that you are his child and to deny who you are is low.

This is what I told my mom:

This is me, This is who I am. You have never been a parent, but I need you to be. If you think it's hard for you to except me imagine how hard it is for me. I know your my mom even if you've never been there but for you to deny who I am is a lie. You can either except me or don't. If you don't except me thats your choice, but you will loose me. One day I will walk out that door and I'll be on my own and at this rate I will never look back. In the future you'll look back on this and you will regret it with all your heart for not excepting me. When you are lying on your death bed you will wish so hard that you had loved me for who I really am. There are people out there who will love and accept me and this will be your lose for not ever getting to know the beautiful son that you had.

[Dryad]

It sounds to me he's mainly scared of what transitioning will do to you, and feelings of incompleteness due to medical impossibilities, at this point.

Basically, it sounds to me that he's scared that, when going this way, you'll never be happy with yourself, and reasons that there must be another way; a better way.
It doesn't sound like you're going to lose him over it, but that's from third-person over the internet. Just.. Try to look at it from his point of view. Understanding has to be mutual, in order to communicate. You might not agree with one another, but as long as you understand one another, you don't have to lose anyone. And in order for him to understand you, you must first understand him.

[madisonp]

You know what?
I haven't told my father I am Mtf but I'm sure he would just say: Why don't you just join the gay community, it'd be cheaper.

People seem to connect Transsexualism to sexuality.