you could pull out the travelmate and wash the whole thing every day ...i do it like every other day. then towel-dry and dust in baby powder.
average life span of when used as an stp: i'm not sure, but i would say half a year at the least. when used to play, it kind of depends. if you make sure the funnel is in the very middle of the balls and don't push super super hard, it will last quite a while...the damages that might happen are: funnel pushed down and out through the back of the balls (happened to me once, girl on top, rough situation, can be avoided by making sure the funnel goes through the middle of the balls) or the tip of the travelmate being pushed through the packer and thus tearing in another hole in the front (happened to me once during sex but i'm not sure what caused it).
does the cyberskin look rough and worn on the inside of the packer or on the outside? the first time i built the thing, mine looked rough on the inside, too, because i didn't make the hole exactly where the silicone rod was...but the packer still lasted really long, so that shouldn't be a problem. if there's still pieces of silicone sticking to the packer on the inside, you should clean those off.