How does it feel to be male and female?

[Anima]

I'm biological male, but after analyzing the female personality/identity/energy etc. inside of me, I've gotten confused about how "normal people" look at their own gender identity. I'm thinking that they don't have the same focus on it, or have hardly thought much about it at all, but just act on something already there telling them to do male or female stuff. But when I focus on it, it feels almost like an energy filling all of me, and that makes me think that maybe I have over-analyzed myself somehow. Cause I can't imagine any biological female walking around feeling like she has literally female energy inside.

[Kaelin]

"Normal" is a lie.  It's a damned lie.

Even if you are afraid to act on what you want to do, try to figure out what it is that you want to do *without judging yourself* for wanting to do those things.  Try to be as accurate as you can -- don't feel you have to list a "male" item (or even a "female" item) just to fit a certain picture.

With a handful of exceptions (such as identifying as a certain gender... or being a wet nurse, sperm donor, egg donor...), these things are not intrinsically male-only or female-only.  Rather, it is cultural forces that dictate that certain actions are male-exclusive or female-exclusive, although many actions are simply tendencies.  In either event, these are still a consequence of culture rather than nature or *just* nature.  Leg-shaving legs is most associated with women (well, in the US anyway), but it is also practiced by a substantial chunk of athletic men.  Young boys and girls show similar levels of competency in math, and the small difference of skill that tends to emerge in older age groups is better attributed to societal factors rather than natural ability.  Overall trends in wearing "dresses," writing ability, leadership, you name it, you can probably attribute it in part or entirely to social factors.  Check your list and see if there is some natural physical reason that makes said actions gender-exclusive.

I'm guessing you won't find (m)any actions that really are naturally exclusive.  And if the issues really just come down to culture, then it isn't your fault: you can blame society (just like many people do, although they often blame society for other reasons!)  If there is something that isn't naturally exclusive, and this would probably be you deep down feeling like a woman, then you may want to consider what you need to do to make that happen.  But you don't want to jump the gun either -- you may just be a guy that isn't in denial of the fact that his thoughts and feelings don't match the over-the-top male stereotype that the world around him is trying to drill into his skull.  Of course, you can possibly be a gender besides male/female, so that is also worth considering.

How does it feel to me to be male?  I guess there a lot of things that go into it, but even though my feelings are at odds with the prevailing culture, it feels right.

[Fenrir]

I don't know, I think that girls often 'feel girly', which I suppose would be the same as 'having feminine energy fill you', but in simpler terms. 
And I agree, I can't really grasp how cisgendered people feel about their gender identity. I think for them it just flows naturally, we only notice it especially because it's the thing we focus on, which is because our bodies aren't the right type to let it flow naturally without us noticing it.

[cynthialee]

Like asking why is water wet. Kinda hard to answer dontcha think?

I quess I can convey my impressions on the matter.
For me:
When I am feeling most male I feel disconected from others but more centered into myself. I have more confidance than in female mind set (which does not mean I am not confidant as a female, far from it.) I am More logical and I find it easier to dismiss powerful emotions. When male I am HORNEY, sex is always on my mind.
When I am feeling most female I am more conected to the world. Mental clarity and perception of the world around me become sharper. I have a constant state of emotion that says 'I love'. It is a soft feeling in the heart. I understand others emotional states easier and can empathize with them. Sex is pleasurable but it doesnt rule my mind. The quality of orgasms I have now I am on HRT are absolutely mind blowing. (My wife who is on T says the T fueled orgasm is better. I disagree.)

[spacial]

If I may offer a slightly different perspective.

How does it feel to be you?

Each of us is different. That's one of the properties that make humans so unique. Or at least it seems that way.

In our civilised communities, which humans have live in for about the last 1% of their existance, we have tended to accept being ruled by those who are born to authority.

I tried to demonstrate, once in a thesis, that it is likely that, pre-civilised, when we lived as feral, the dual demarcation between genders didn't exist, rather there were more likely to have been several.

However, throughout the history of civilisation, people have worked for and often died for the right of self expression. Individuality. The right to live as we choose while contributing to society.

That seems to be coming for many of us now and the advent of surgical techniques means that those that choose to express themselves as fully as is available, can.

What you may experience, however far you choose to go, is a matter for you. You are as limited as your imagination.

But whatever you do, choose or decide, you can only ever really know what it is like to be you.

[Rose2Me]

While I cannot say what it is like to truly feel like a woman, I can relate with having a different feeling, or energy, inside of me when I am Rose instead of my usual public persona.  It is not a superficial feeling like the fear of discovery or sexual tension or anything like that.  It is more a way of feeling inside, and a different way of carrying oneself.  Personally, I feel more at peace and comfortable in the clothes I am wearing, and feel a thrill of recognition when I catch sight of my feminie face and form in the mirror.  It's just like coming home.

Rose

[spacial]

I can really identify with that Rose.

There are times I catch sight of myself in the mirror, you know, one of those fleeting glances. Others when I see a really nice outfit some woman is wearing and really, really want it. Sometimes I just want to be held in someone's arms.

To be honest, those are the really good days.

[Asfsd4214]

Imagine a wall built out of painted bricks, representing your mind, with one of those bricks, representing gender identity.

If that brick is the same color as all the other bricks, from a distance you can't see it, it's just a painted wall.

If that brick however is a different color than all the other bricks, that brick is going to stick out no matter how far away you look.

I think that's sort of how normal people feel about gender identity. They do have one, but it doesn't stick out and they can't see it because it's congruent.

[Eva Marie]

I'm genderfluid, so i can flow between genders, sometimes more boy, sometimes more girl.

In boy mode, life is about responsibilities. My family, my job, keeping the house up, and the cars running, seeing to the taxes, and so on. It's a role i slip easily into, because i've been doing it for so long, but it doesn't come naturally, and i really don't care for it at all.

In girl mode, i feel alive. It's a time of little responsibility, and it's a time of reflection about who/what i really am, under the cover. I tend to relax and let boy mode go away for awhile.

[rejennyrated]

I can't really tell you what it is like to be anything but me.

All I know is that prior to transition, HRT and surgery there were aspects of my physical emotional and psychological essence that were like a piece of grit ripping away at my insides.

Since I've been altered it's gone and, unless I'm answering questions like this one, I really don't think about what I am or what it is like to be. I just am.

I suppose in a sense I just know that I am female without needing to think about it and I move on. So I'm really no longer conscious of my gender beyond a basic factual level anymore.

[Rock_chick]

All I know is that prior to transition, HRT and surgery there were aspects of my physical emotional and psychological essence that were like a piece of grit ripping away at my insides.

I'm sooooo stealing that. But echoing jenny, I knew something was amiss simply because no matter what role I tried to play within a male world it never quite felt 100% right.

[FairyGirl]

Since I've been altered it's gone

I'm not sure it's all just nurture over nature. I've always tended naturally toward the feminine, even when there was great pressure to be just the opposite. I subjectively feel very much on the female end of the binary in that regard, which is why I have resorted to the extreme measure of SRS to find healing, as Jenny explained above. To most men born male bodied, I imagine the thought of having their genitals mutilated would be a nightmare. To a woman, the fact of being born male bodied in itself is a living nightmare which cannot be explained by nurture alone.

I've commented before that I can never know what it's like to be happy in the sex that I was born, or know what those people feel who are content and love their birth sex, or even those who never consider it at all. I can however come to fully accept, embrace, and realize who I have been psychologically since birth. To me this has been an endeavor worth pursuing because, beyond labels of male or female, it has simply allowed me to become whole.

[Torn1990]

I'm biological male, but after analyzing the female personality/identity/energy etc. inside of me, I've gotten confused about how "normal people" look at their own gender identity. I'm thinking that they don't have the same focus on it, or have hardly thought much about it at all, but just act on something already there telling them to do male or female stuff. But when I focus on it, it feels almost like an energy filling all of me, and that makes me think that maybe I have over-analyzed myself somehow. Cause I can't imagine any biological female walking around feeling like she has literally female energy inside.

I think I know what you are describing. I can't really describe it either (too logically) but I have been thinking about it lately to as I observe people. I've always felt like i walk on a borderline between genders and I have to put in effort to veer over to one side or the other. The female one is more natural i'd say and makes me happier, deeming me trans..But I have to say I think that sort of happened psychologically after being denied the female role, I guess I became confused beingh so young and thus this borderline implemented itself in my psychi. I'm not sure what to think.. It's really depressing. I've never felt like I have fit in anywhere whatsoever.