"But You Were Such a Girly Toddler!"

[Jam]

This thread has got me worried about talking to my mother tomorrow now

Dont be worried this thread is proof most parents (though still in slight denial) are managing to be supportive and get there head round it.

[MillieB]

Dont be worried this thread is proof most parents (though still in slight denial) are managing to be supportive and get there head round it.

Thanks Thomas,  I'd needn't have worried she was great

[elvistears]

It's so stupid when they try to base things on what you were like as a toddler.  Toddlers don't have a real sense of gender! they're just discovering the world and themselves and aren't thinking like adults do.

I have a notebook of stories about me my mum wrote when I was little.  As a toddler, I demand to only wear skirts for a while, then a few weeks later I'm demanding my mum buy me a penis. And I liked My Little Ponies.  But so what! I like Ninja Turtles, toy race cars as well.  They're all just TOYS and anyone can play with em.

[Erik]

Geeze, my mom pulls that dress thing all the time. And she loves the "you used to adore the color pink too!" I never liked pink, my fav color is blue and purple. Dad thought it was cute on me since I was his first daughter...
The only time I've worn a dress (after private school up to 2nd grade) was homecoming and prom. And only because I didn't have a date and wanted to make the jerks feel jealous with how nice my legs look (they turned me down for looking "too chubby and manish") lol

I think my mom has known for years though and thinks she did something wrong. I think she wants to somehow remind me of how it used to be and maybe snap me back to be her little girly-girl... 

[EddieNash]

My parents - while accepting - weren't at first. My mother is still rather resistant to the idea of me being anything then what she raised me as. I've heard several things mentioned in this thread, but more prominently 'But, if God wanted you to be ...' (not to turn this into anything religious, I was just raised in a very . . . religious family and close-nit community). and 'Just don't listen to what people say.'

I never understood the purpose of a parent calling it a phase, when . . . from the moment I knew I could think for myself, that it didn't feel right. If anything, a means of making an excuse.

When we first got this new house (the one we live in now), ten years ago, our entire yard was muddy. Hell, we had a huge ... mountain of dirt in the back yard. I'd climb up to the top and then slide down, covered from head to toe. Played soccor and baseball. Played one of the previously mentioned sports, in the mud or while it's raining. I even remember pulling the heads off my sister's barbies, when I was younger. */rambles.*

I think my mom has known for years though and thinks she did something wrong. I think she wants to somehow remind me of how it used to be and maybe snap me back to be her little girly-girl... 

My mom always says stuff, that it's her fault for the way I turned out. It sucks, hearing that. And, I know my mom would like for that to happen, but it's not her fault and I don't think I will ever be anything 'like I used to be [as a toddler].'

[Max1978]

I think my mom just very recently (that is, when I told her I'm not really a girl) understood why I, as a kid:
- totally refused to brush my long hair
- put holes in all my jeans
- took about a week to destroy my new shiny shoes
- sat with my legs open
- spoke loudly
- got into fights with the kids at school
- ran around like a madman with toy swords
- hated doing the dishes but loved helping out my dad fixing stuff around the house
- always needed to prove I was just as strong as my brother
- etc... etc...

Of course this is all very stereotypical, 'cause as some of you have pointed out, kids just like what they like and do what they do, right? Who's to say what's boyish or girly? To my parent's though, all of the above was not girly, so much is clear...

Anyway, she did not (thank G*D!!) try to convince me what a girly girl I once was, probably because I really wasn't, but instead she seemed really relieved... Like we finally solved the big mystery of 'me'... ()

Bit of an anticlimax if you know how scared I was of telling her... 

[Silver]

It's so stupid when they try to base things on what you were like as a toddler.  Toddlers don't have a real sense of gender! they're just discovering the world and themselves and aren't thinking like adults do.

I have a notebook of stories about me my mum wrote when I was little.  As a toddler, I demand to only wear skirts for a while, then a few weeks later I'm demanding my mum buy me a penis. And I liked My Little Ponies.  But so what! I like Ninja Turtles, toy race cars as well.  They're all just TOYS and anyone can play with em.

Agree. Every therapist I've been to asked if I played with Barbies or trucks. Does it really matter? It really just depends on what my parents buy for me. Even so, there's no innate biological imperative that has boys instinctively going for trucks. It's all plastic.

[Pica Pica]

My mom always says stuff, that it's her fault for the way I turned out. It sucks, hearing that. And, I know my mom would like for that to happen, but it's not her fault and I don't think I will ever be anything 'like I used to be [as a toddler].'

I suppose, for her, those days feel pretty recent.

[elvistears]

Agree. Every therapist I've been to asked if I played with Barbies or trucks. Does it really matter? It really just depends on what my parents buy for me. Even so, there's no innate biological imperative that has boys instinctively going for trucks. It's all plastic.

That's such bad therapy dude. I had Barbies, but guess what, they were hand me downs from my gay boy cousin in Germany!  They were instrumental in my sex ed, those Barbies got A LOT of action*.  I don't think any boys just liked "boy stuff" when they were a kid, and vice versa for girls. It's just a way for those in charge to invalidate us.

*just remembered, my friend had Barbies and no Kens.  She felt they needed a boyfriend.  So she took a Barbie, cut its hair short, drew some stubble and then tried to MELT its boobs off on the stove! Ruined the element.  That girl was ahead of her time.

[Silver]

That's such bad therapy dude. I had Barbies, but guess what, they were hand me downs from my gay boy cousin in Germany!  They were instrumental in my sex ed, those Barbies got A LOT of action*.  I don't think any boys just liked "boy stuff" when they were a kid, and vice versa for girls. It's just a way for those in charge to invalidate us.

*just remembered, my friend had Barbies and no Kens.  She felt they needed a boyfriend.  So she took a Barbie, cut its hair short, drew some stubble and then tried to MELT its boobs off on the stove! Ruined the element.  That girl was ahead of her time.

Even if it doesn't seem to affect much, I've always been asked but I just think it's a waste of time.

As to the rest, lol. That's an interesting girl.

[EddieNash]

I suppose, for her, those days feel pretty recent.

I know, and regardless I still love my mother. Even if we do argue a lot, including 'how I used to be.' Ever have great success with explaining how you feel to your mother? Or parent.

[Roro]

Agree. Every therapist I've been to asked if I played with Barbies or trucks. Does it really matter? It really just depends on what my parents buy for me. Even so, there's no innate biological imperative that has boys instinctively going for trucks. It's all plastic.

LoL. I had an army of G.I. Joe guys that all rode in the My Little Pony cavalry. WTF does that make me? My Barbie was married to Batman... and one year I dressed up as an angel for halloween... but with a giant bloody axe in tow.

[Silver]

LoL. I had an army of G.I. Joe guys that all rode in the My Little Pony cavalry. WTF does that make me? My Barbie was married to Batman... and one year I dressed up as an angel for halloween... but with a giant bloody axe in tow.

That makes you awesome, lol.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

No....my mom has an obvious lack of evidence to back up her claim that there were no signs.

I think telling my g'ma at 8 yrs old before I hit puberty, when she got her mastectomy, that she could have my chesticles cause I didn't want them...would be a clear sign.

Oh, and the thought of myself being pregnant disgusted me.

And I wanted to play football on the community team, but wasn't allowed.

But this thread is about signs to the contrary..um....

I let my birthday cake at 2 years old be pink?

Haha.