Its a long story but here it goes Its more of from a personal standpoint in my own experiences. It has sort of messed up my views of women ranging anywhere from fear of being feminized as a social adjunct, kolpophobia, and so forth. This fear then turned into ->-bleeped-<- which I suppressed seeing at is being unhealthy mindset. So I have become more or less neurotic about things and have not really expressed my true self. Its wierd that I explain it this way but my misogyny stemmed not because I hated women but I had a neurotic vagina envy. To put it quite tranquilly this thread was not made as it appears to be but more of an expression of what I am not. I lived in a very hierarchical household and was in my mind constantly beaten. I feared women but I was envious of the fact that I had to constantly work and be beaten at the whims of authority. I was and still am a very intelligent person who has been able to finally diagnosis that I hated authority because it expressed my own intellectual expression of self. I know it within me and it has harmed as a person and how I relate to myself this is where being unsure of myself comes into play. Don't want to sound stupid or anything just expressing my point and being true and to the point not worrying about what others might think. I have always felt that I needed to express my ->-bleeped-<- point of view.. It actually ended up hindering me in developing as a person. The more I think from women's point of view the more calm I am with myself, clearer thinking, less aggressive and more accepting of people. I am afraid though that me getting to comfortable with this mindset might end up being the end of my masculinity so you can probably see why I have been a misogynist in the past I have vagina envy and the more I think about the more I like seeing myself with a feminine personality. I find that I am losing control of myself and wish to keep my masculine traits that would otherwise be ridiculed if I try to embrace my feminine side which allows me to communicate and relate better with myself.
