Reassuring Thoughts

[Crow]

Everyone experiences discouraging situations from time to time, and transpeople are no exception. What are some reassuring thoughts and encouraging words you keep close at hand to keep your head up during tough times when people around you aren't accepting or you are feeling unsure?


For me, a big challenge is listening to my mom when she says I'm too young to know who I am and suggests that maybe I'm brainwashing myself into thinking this is what I want. Whenever I get sucked into that mindset, though, I have to remember-- If I go with what feels right and address my identity by transitioning, there is always that miniscule chance I might someday regret it, but if I ignore what I'm feeling and pretend to be someone I'm not, there's a 100% chance I will regret it! So what have I got to lose, really?

[Rock_chick]

when i get down i just think about how I felt before I started transition and compare it to the feeling of contentment and happiness I get now I've started. Usually sorts me out.

[K8]

If I live in my head too much I can get off track.  It's happened to me too many times and not just with my gender issues.  Talking to others - my friends, my doctor, my therapist, my minister - gives me some feedback, like a reality check.  I don't always go with their advice, but it helps broaden my focus so that I know whether I'm considering alternatives.

When things are difficult, I wonder why I didn't just keep pretending to be a man.  But then I immediately remember how miserable that was and I know that the current difficulty is worth it so that I can be me.  It was so much work to be what I wasn't, and it is so easy to just be who I am - despite the various setbacks and difficulties along the way.

- Kate

[Crow]

If I live in my head too much I can get off track.  It's happened to me too many times and not just with my gender issues.  Talking to others - my friends, my doctor, my therapist, my minister - gives me some feedback, like a reality check.  I don't always go with their advice, but it helps broaden my focus so that I know whether I'm considering alternatives.

This is absolutely true. Talking to people helps me, too, both with gender issues and other things. Sometimes I just need to get away from my family and find somebody who comprehends the situation who I can talk to.

It's  wonder I don't drive my friends (and my professors) completely batty! I'm sure at this point, they're all a little sick of hearing me talk about gender.

[K8]

It's  wonder I don't drive my friends (and my professors) completely batty! I'm sure at this point, they're all a little sick of hearing me talk about gender.

I told one of my best girlfriends that after my surgery I would probably be less self-involved.  She threw up her hands and said "Praise be!"   But they've all been very nice to listen to me as I stumbled through the change.  I think they all understand (as your friends and professors probably do) that this is a BIG DEAL and that you need to talk about it a lot.  I'm glad you have that support.

- Kate

[LordKAT]

Ye, my only accepted outlet is right here. That sorta hurts but it also enforces my wanting to be stealth as possible, soon as possible.

[Josie06]

Spot on!

Very good, thanks for writing and reminding us all.

[Summerfall]

I told one of my best girlfriends that after my surgery I would probably be less self-involved.  She threw up her hands and said "Praise be!"   But they've all been very nice to listen to me as I stumbled through the change.  I think they all understand (as your friends and professors probably do) that this is a BIG DEAL and that you need to talk about it a lot.  I'm glad you have that support.

- Kate

Absolutely. Having even just one sympathetic ear can make all the difference in the world.

[BunnyBee]

Remember to follow that which gives you peace and don't forget about those things that have brought you misery.  If you ever lose your peace, take where you are and where you were as two landmarks and aim somewhere in between.

My agent of grounding may not work for everybody, and I don't really recommend taking the trip to get it either, but it is simply that I took the pretend-to-be-a-man thing as absolutely far as I could, and knowing that that route lead to the depths of despair and looming death, I have no inclination to look back.  Doubtful or regretful thoughts never make it to the end of the first sentence.

A silver lining for putting myself through such torture I guess.

[justmeinoz]

Sometimes I think of a sports team facing certain defeat if they continue playing the same way. If they change their game, they might lose but they have a chance of winning too, so go for it.

[accord03]

Jen is pretty & this is a very good topic.


I think of the things I've overcome for the past 20 years and realise that the first step of change is the hardest but it gets better and I'll be happy once again. Or I think of my little motto "Born alone. Die alone." Or my future, the wife and kids I'm going to build and it keeps me going. Or how many people are in this world and so many more people to meet or they're going through tougher situations. Or it's a test from God and I can surely overcome this barrier. Mainly, the future really.

[BunnyBee]

 

[confused]

so what have I got to lose, really

this ^
and "just do it"