Tips for dealing with being utterly alone after top sugery?

[noxdraconis]

I am having top surgery really soon and it is about time I start making preparations for dealing with my limitied mobility.  Now, I know there are threads here that have general advice for this sort of thing, but they all seem to be based on the assumption that there will be somebody around to help you out at least most of the time.  I, unfortunately, will be abandoned at home for about 12 hours (from like 8am to 6~8pm) since everybody in my household besides myself has a job and they cannot take days off (the 3 days that my mother and my sister, who will will take time off of her regular job to work in my mother's stead, are taking off to take me there already pushing it; I cannot even stay in the area long enough to get the drains out).  Does anybody have any advice for things I should buy or any ways to prepare for being alone with limited mobility, especially for the days that I will have drains in? 

[Flan]

easy to fix (read: microwavable) food tops my short list of things to prep for.

[alex408]

Yeah definitely.  I just had top surgery and I went out and got tons of cereal, soup, and frozen foods. apple sause and crap like that.

and to keep yourself busy, get a one month free subscription to netflix (unless you have something better to do).  you can watch all the movies you want on your computer

[kyril]

It's quite remarkable how much time one can spend sitting at one's computer doing essentially nothing

I don't know how limited your mobility will be. If it's just upper body mobility you're concerned about, then just make sure that things you may need to reach (food etc) are in lower cabinets where you can reach them without reaching above your head. Wear your postsurgical binder whenever you're supposed to, but over it wear loose comfy clothes (sweats, zip-up hoodies) you can slide on and off easily to go to the bathroom or adjust temperature. And don't set yourself any goals that involve physical activity (cleaning, heavy duty cooking, carrying trash out...just don't). Plunk yourself in a comfy chair or bed with a computer or a good book and do nothing for 12 hours. Subsist on packaged food. Be a total slob, live in your sweats, leave trash scattered by your chair. Enjoy it.

If there will be any period of time where you expect not to be able to walk...that's a different issue because it complicates basic stuff like going to the bathroom or getting something to eat. Is that what you're worried about?

[spacial]

You'll be fine so long as you don't suffer too much from your self. 

The drains and such are a lot tougher than you might think, But a few bits of tape and a pocket or two will sort them.

Mobility is essential, unless you've been told otherwise. The benefits of mobility are enormous.

Main thing though is, drink lots of fluid, water especially. And when you sit of the toilet, sit there until something happens.

One more thing, when you do feel alone and dejected, just remember how great you will look in a few days when you walk outside.

[noxdraconis]

Thanks Furry and Alex!  I guess I better buy my course books for next semester to read and start stocking up on stuff like cereal and power bars, maybe even make about two weeks worth of dinners and stuff them in the freezer.   

@kyril-It is not that I will not be able to walk, but rather that the apartment that I live in is arranged in such a manner as to spite short people such as myself.  Even with full use of my arms, I cannot open any of the windows since they are all out of my reach even if I am standing on a chair.  Since it is a small and overstuffed apartment, everything is built going up.  The microwave, ceiling fan, and Playstation require reaching above shoulder level and things like medicine, tea, and plates require me to climb up my kitchen sink to get at them like little kids do.  I guess this means I have to beg my father to let me keep the AC on 24/7 and for him to find some space to put the microwave within my reach.  Love the idea of being lazy though!  I think I will totally milk it for all it is worth

@spacial-I was talking more about upperbody mobility, which plays a very important part in navigating my apartment to get necessary items like medicines.  I do plan on taking long walks and using my exercise bike quite a bit.

[Arch]

A few weeks before my surgery, I started mentally noting my daily routines. Some guys actually make a list. Any item that was above shoulder level I later moved down to the counter. Clothing, toiletries, kitchen stuff, everything.

[Radar]

One thing you might want to look into getting is those folding step ladders with several steps but they're for inside use. I have one I use for reaching in high places. The more steps up the more you can make things shoulder level. It's not perfect but it would give you more access to things safely.

[Ryan]

I'm pretty sure that some surgeons require you have a friend or family member to care for you while you recover. This usually applies for people who are travelling for surgery though.

[spacial]

@spacial-I was talking more about upperbody mobility, which plays a very important part in navigating my apartment to get necessary items like medicines.  I do plan on taking long walks and using my exercise bike quite a bit.

That's good. I'm sure you can get things organised.

I'm also pretty sure that, with your positve attitude, you'll be healed in record time. (It works incidently  )

[noxdraconis]

@Arch and Radar-I did not think of either of those ideas; they are really good ones.  I better get on to some list-writing and get a step ladder like that then.  I will still need to bring some stuff lower (what possessed my mother to put the two most important recovery items, meds and tea, at just under ceiling height I will never know) but I am sure they will have one that will at least get me able to open the microwave at least.   

@Ryan-My surgeon requires that I have somebody to accompany me out of surgery.  My mother will drive me the ~200 miles to get me to my surgery, stay one night for a 24 hour followup, and then drive me back immeadiately afterwards, but after that (2 days post-op) I will be alone for the rest of my recovery time except for Sundays.  My surgeon encourages her patients to stay until the drains are out, but we simply cannot do that (even if my sister was able to get off of her regular job for the required time to take my mother's spot at work, my father and her just cannot get along well enough to work together that long). 

@spacial-I certainly hope so!  Keeping positive has definitely helped in other situations so may that trend continue.

[Arch]

Your surgeon will doubtless remind you of this, but don't plan on wearing any pull-over clothing for a little while--you need shirts that button up the front.
I also suggest that you run all of your laundry the day before surgery.

You might also want to have an extra roll of toilet paper handy, maybe sitting on the counter near the sink. Grab it right before you sit down--you don't want to do any twisting, and you might have to twist to reach the TP that's already on the spool. If I'd had top surgery in my new place, I would have been seriously screwed because the spool is in a really stupid location relative to the toilet.

[kyril]

Get a stepstool for the kitchen and the windows.

[Renate]

Maybe get one of those gripper things that are three feet long?

[noxdraconis]

@Arch-Lucky for me, my recent weight loss has left me with tons of loose buttonup shirts, and my mother still does my laundry when she comes home at night so I am good there.  Also the toilet paper holder is one of the only things that are in an easy to reach spot (just checked ). 

@kyril-Just bought the step ladder thing this afternoon.  While nothing short of a full-size ladder will let me open the windows (we can only open the top half which is about 15 cm from the ceiling otherwise it looks like a tornado hit the house), it lets me reach the microwave, playstation, and medicine shelf so it is all good.  I will simply insist that it is too hot to not have the AC on 

@Renate-Haha, I always wanted one of those, but I have the feeling that I would wreck the house were I to handle one.  I am much too uncoordinated wielding something that long. 

[sneakersjay]

For the first few days I also had trouble twisting caps off of bottles.  So maybe make sure a few are already loosened for you.  Straws.  Keep lots of easy to reach snack foods available.  I was able to function pretty well except for reaching and lifting.

good luck!


Jay

[Arch]

@Arch-Lucky for me, my recent weight loss has left me with tons of loose buttonup shirts, and my mother still does my laundry when she comes home at night so I am good there.  Also the toilet paper holder is one of the only things that are in an easy to reach spot (just checked ).

Good. The one at my old place was in a good location, but it was a little too close to the toilet. I had to sort of lean away from the spool and snake my hand up carefully because I was worried about twisting.

Getting out of bed was rather interesting, too, for the first couple of weeks.

[Jamie-o]

Do you have a local FtM group in your area?  If so, somebody might be able/willing to stop by and give you a hand in those first few days.  That sort of thing happens in my neck of the woods, but we have a very active community.

[noxdraconis]

I was able to function pretty well except for reaching and lifting.

That is a relief to hear.  I never had my upper body impaired in any way so that makes me kind of nervous.  I have broken my legs many times and have found that to be no problem, even when it came to climbing up the counter top, but I can use my upper body compensate for any issues with my lower half.  I do not think I could say that the inverse is true. 

@Arch-How was your bed in relation to you?  Was it a little too high or too low for your liking when it came to getting into bed?  Mine is a bit too high for my liking and I suspect that, while I probably would not have too much trouble getting out of bed, it might be a bit of a struggle to get in.

@Jamie-o-I have no idea if there is a group near me.  I do not even think that I have ever even met another transman outside of the internet.