Series: A transgender journey
'I was looking for a trans counter-culture'
In the second instalment of her fortnightly column, Juliet Jacques describes how she came out as transgender, entered counselling, and searched for like-minded people
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/16/transgender-journey-trans-counter-cultureAfter my gender issues complicated my relationships with 'straight-acting' gay men, I had to reconsider my identity - and the centrality of maleness within it. Gradually, I came to define as 'transgender'. I understood that transgender could include cross-dressers, transvestites, male-to-female (MtF) and female-to-male (FtM) transsexuals, and anyone else who considered themselves beyond the traditional gender binary. Having found a suitable term for myself, which allowed space for me to explore my gender, I wanted to find places where I could express myself and meet like-minded people.
I spent time at Brighton's Harlequin club, but it seemed to be winding down: the only venue that catered primarily for transgender (although not often, I noticed, transsexual) women became a gay club, before closing entirely. It was partly replaced by occasional '->-bleeped-<-' nights, which were always hosted in LGBT venues: like the Harlequin, they seemed mostly to attract middle-aged people who had not transitioned. Their high-camp playlists and their lip-synching drag acts, who avoided any critique of gender, felt unbearably conservative. I withdrew from the scene, frustrated.
