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Mom doesn't know any better

Started by Coppélia, June 17, 2010, 12:33:34 AM

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Coppélia

I just shaved off a beard I've had for the past 5 years. I went over it with 5 different razors to get my face as hairless as possible. I had just finished and was looking over the result in the mirror. As soon as I started thinking maybe I can pull this off my mom steps in and comments on the very masculine cleft in my chin. She called me handsome and manly. I had to pretend I nicked myself while shaving because I started tearing up. I know she means well but that's exactly the opposite of what I wanted to hear.
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aydan_boy

Aw. Its ok... :-\ How your mother sees you, and how the rest of the world does are two totally different things. If she doesn't, well, "know", then she probably thinks she's doing a good, kind thing.
Parents...the cause of so many tears, whether they do it intentionally, or unintentionally.
Don't let it get you too down  :(
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Coppélia

I don't think I can talk to her yet. I haven't even figured out how far I'm willing to change myself. I think I want to see a therapist before I tell anyone.
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lilacwoman

yes, go see a therapist to figure yourself out...but now you've got rid of the beard how about finding a sympathetic transperson who will take you to a transbar where you can see what is needed to change genders on  a temporary basis?
Have a look at the transpeople there and wonder if you could or want to make yourself like them.
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Ayaname

Quote from: aydan_boy on June 17, 2010, 12:50:52 AM
How your mother sees you, and how the rest of the world does are two totally different things.

This is so true. My mom doesn't even know that I'm trans even though I've been on hormones for a long time and almost always pass without a problem. Whenever I see her she tells me how "handsome" and "masculine" I am. It still bothers me, but I just console myself with the fact that she sees what she wants to.
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justmeinoz

Sounds like she means well, and is still thinking you are the same son she has always thought she has known. Until you tell her, she will never know.

Rmemember though, sometimes getting a parent to change is like trying to turn around an ocean liner. It will happen, but we need a lot of sea room.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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azSam

I'm sorry to hear that. And I'm sorry again, because it's actually sort of comical. I guess maybe I'm a little weird, but I've learned that I need to laugh at things like that when they happen to me.

I wish I could give you a hug. Because I do know how you feel.

*hugs*
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