So how many of you used to/still do cut yourselves?

[Silver]

Well I mentioned it, got a "go for it" and I'm curious anyway. So it's in the FTM board but I don't think there's any reason MTFs and such shouldn't vote.

Edit: Well I figured I should answer my own poll. Voted "Not at all." I've been depressed, perhaps not as severely as all of you guys but I've always considered cutting a level too low for me to stoop to. Never saw a point in it. (No offense to any of you intended, of course.)

[elvistears]

I said not anymore, but can't say for sure.  I did it mostly when I was 16-19, but then would do it once or twice a year since then.  I haven't felt the urge to do it at all since I started transitioning, so I'm hoping it's a thing of the past.

[Greg]

I've voted not at all, but I imagine I'll be in the minority.

[Between Names]

I have wanted to before, but I've never cut myself.

[owl]

I voted Not anymore. I used to, i believe i had 29 cuts on one arm and 21 on another.. they kind of faded away.. but still noticeable.. 

[jmaxley]

Yes.  I try not too...usually it's only when the depression or anger or frustration or whatever is really really bad.

[Ryan]

I self harmed very frequently between the ages of 14 and 18. I became dependent on it as a coping method. It would be all I could think about. It actually consumed me for quite a while. Very much an addiction for me.

Since transitioning, I haven't really felt the need to do it anymore. I made no effort to quit, I just don't do it anymore. I remember when I used to try and quit, I'd feel so depressed and always gave into the temptation.

Saying that though, I don't really like to say that I've quit as such, just that I don't really do it anymore. I still self harm on very rare occasions. Usually due to anger. I don't see it as a problem anymore though.

[Cairus]

http://yfrog.com/1500001fxwj That's the less scarred side, the other side had stitches at that time, don't want to trigger anyone.

Used to do it pretty bad, had to be hospitalized a number of times. Now I've got what's been described as 'tiger stripes' or 'lattice pie' from the shoulder down to the wrists on both sides of my arms, and 20K in medical debt, to show for it. The left side is scars on top of scars, so the whole thing is just a ripply-scar-y mess reminiscent of what you'd find on a burn victim, with some minor nerve damage.

The last time I did was sometime in June of last year... Which makes, yeah, a year, which is the longest I've gone without doing it. The occasion that happened a year ago was also the first time in three months that I'd done it, so it had already gotten fewer and farther between. I actually haven't even thought about doing it either, so I'm going with a hopeful 'never again'.

[Silver]

http://yfrog.com/1500001fxwj

F***. Best of luck breaking the habit.

[owl]

Best of luck breaking the habit.

[kyril]

I said not anymore, but don't hold me to that. I never did it more than a couple times a year, and it's been less than a year since the last time. I only have one noticeable scar (suicide line on the left wrist) and some wide but flat scars on my leg. Most of my cuts healed to near complete invisibility.

[alex408]

I have wanted to before, but I've never cut myself.

same

[Ryan]

Yeah, don't do it. Cutting yourself is stupid. No offense to anyone that does, but it really is.

[Farm Boy]

I've been tempted to, but I haven't ever done it.  I don't plan on it either.

[Nygeel]

I picked not at all. I can't even figure out how it helps in any way or why I would do it.

[Crow]

Theoretically not anymore-- it's definitely not something I make a regular habit of, anymore. It's not something I want to claim as a part of my identity. However, old habits die hard-- I declared myself "done" with self-harm something like four years ago, but it still crops up from time to time.

It's gotten a lot better since I started college, though. I'm in a lot better space, now, and I've developed much better coping mechanisms. On the rare occassions that I have hurt myself over the last couple years, it's been more of a one-time-deal at the hardest of hard times rather than a messy chain reaction like it used to be. I still feel guilty saying "never again" though, because I know I'll just make myself feel worse if I do it again. I don't plan on doing it again, but that's an intention, not a decree.

[Ryan]

I picked not at all. I can't even figure out how it helps in any way or why I would do it.

It's a release.
There are both physical and psychological reasons as to why it works. It releases a load of "feel good" chemicals in your brain.
It's a very hard thing to explain and I'm going to bed lol.

[Nygeel]

It's a release.
There are both physical and psychological reasons as to why it works. It releases a load of "feel good" chemicals in your brain.
It's a very hard thing to explain and I'm going to bed lol.

I know that's how people explain it and I understand that it's what people say but when applying it to myself and who I am it doesn't work/make sense.

Confusing for me to explain.

[Between Names]

Forgot to add this to my first post...  There was a short period of time not too long ago that I indulged in a different brand of self-harm.  I used to punch myself hard in the gut, as hard as I could stand it.  Didn't leave any visible scars, but one time I did hit myself hard enough to feel it for a few days.  I haven't felt the urge to hit myself in a while though.

[lightvi]

Not anymore... not since I decided I didn't want to die afterall. I get urges sometimes though, and I'm pretty susceptible to triggers. I used to cut with a razor blade or a box cutter and one time I cut one of the main arteries in my arm, that was not a fun day XD. I really want these scars to go away but I guess they will stay there to haunt me forever and remind me of what I did :S