Quote"I am going to need mental counselling after what's happened."
First, she bears a lot of responsibility for not 'having the talk' prior to climbing in the sack, IMNSHO, If you think you'll be intimate with a normal, get that person's EXPLICIT understanding before -- as in hearing them say something like, "Yes. I understand. You are transgendered. Yes, I understand. You are pre-op."
Second, the 'excuse' of 'victim'. I wish that this sort of reaction, and society's condoning it didn't/couldn't happen. But it does. What should have happened (but didn't) is that, as calmly as possible, he terminated the intimacy and removed himself from the situation. Perhaps he'd still need counselling after that, but as we know, that will be a good thing...
My humble opinion;
Karen