I wanna start by saying thank you, if my partner had been so supportive maybe things wouldn't have been so awkward so your fiancee is a lucky guy. I'm also ftm and not on T yet.
Quote from: angeleyz327 on August 03, 2010, 10:06:36 AM
1) I love him unconditionally but it seems no matter how much I love him or how accepting I am of him that it isnt good enough. He will say "im not who Im supposed to be" "im not happy" and this hurts me because out of all his relationships I am the only one to acknowledge, love unconditionally and not judge. What can I do to make him see I love him with all I have to give inside?
I think he knows you love him with everything. I used to have my days where I would wake up just not feeling like a man at all, wishing I could practically dig off my chest and when my partner would be supportive I'd be negative in response, it wasn't out of anger or hurt sometimes I didn't even believe what I was saying it was just an automatic response because of how I felt. Do you think he could be responding in this way because he just isn't comfortable with where he is at in life? If so I would not take it personally, he knows you care.
Quote from: angeleyz327 on August 03, 2010, 10:06:36 AM
2) How do I approach the subject of lovemaking with him? He uses a dildo whenever we are having any kind of sexual intimacy. This is not a problem for me at all but I would like to find out how to go about getting a mechanism to hold his penis so that there doesnt have to be boxers on at all times. and I dont know how to broach this subject without upsetting him because this would mean i am remembering the fact that his penis is not yet part of him. But I feel that bringing this up would not only make him feel better about himself but it would increase the excitement of lovemaking knowing the boxers are no longer there..more of a freedom..
3) It is difficult because obviously when he leaves the house he doesnt go fully equipped so if we are spending the weekend somewhere or are just on a long drive there is no way for me even when I am in the mood to make a move because without being fully equipped I am not allowed to touch him down there..how can I bring this up without again hurting his feelings?
I know it is a touchy subject and I did feel like less of a man when this was brought up to me but I took it as my partner trying to be open and honest. I don't know what he is like but you probably know best how to approach it. Just try reminding him like you told us that you don't think of him any less you just want him to enjoy things just as much as you do. The hands free comment that Cynthia suggested is a great one. I know it's frustrating to not be able to do things unless you have the right things, I do understand. There are pack and play options that would allow him to use it as not only a packer but also allow him to use it to make love to you. Some work with regular harnesses but some don't. This also might make him feel more masculine if he does not already use a packer. I'll post the link to one of them to give you an idea.
http://store.babeland.com/dildos-silicone/goodfella that's just an example, there are some cheaper ones on the market just look for a pack and play one on any "toy" site. *to the moderators I don't remember how to go about posting a link sorry, if I did it wrong please let me know* Hope this helps
