Gender and Sexuality

[kyril]

It's not hypocritical to want a partner who's different from you in some respect. Does anyone call straight men hypocritical for not being attracted to other men? I mean, I'm sure somebody somewhere has, but in general it's not something you hear, because it's just accepted as a fact of human nature that people are often attracted primarily to people who aren't clones of themselves.

We can't expect every gay man to be attracted to trans men, and we can't expect gay trans men to be significantly different from gay cis men in any particular way, including the proportion of us who are interested in trans men.

[BunnyBee]

If I felt then the way I feel now about men I am positive I would have transitioned earlier, so I can relate to an extent.  I was pretty much asexual and I feel my sexual ambivalence allowed me to hold onto the idea of fitting into the world as a "heteronormative" person, where if I liked guys and was going to disappoint everybody by being gay anyway, I'd have just came out with the "oh actually, I'm a woman" bit too.

The ambivalence gave way as I transitioned and I find myself quite attracted to guys now, so there is the possibility of change too.  Although I think for me it was more fog lifting, seeing more clearly, than it was an actual shift in attraction.
Post Merge: June 28, 2010, 01:41:37 AM
Oh yay 500 posts!  That sure took a long time .

[MRH]

Problem is i'm not girly enough to be found attractive by guys and i'm not boyish enough to be found attractive by gay guys. I'm so glad I have my boyfriend but then again looks like things wont last too long there if I transistion.
This could just be paranoia but at my induction day at college I met two people, a boy and a girl and,well, it just seems like they were hitting it off with each other and later on when I found her on facebook they had already become friends and they hadn't bothered looking for me. I questioned why he seemed to fancy this girl over me and it just got me down.We both talked to him in equal amounts. Like I said im not looking for a partner as I have one but its nice to be desired.

[SnailPace]

You don't have to be super manly for gay guys to like you, in fact "twinks" are very popular in some circles.  I think you and I have the same problem, and it's that we don't have very many queer friends (in real life).  Even though we're in relationships, it's nice to feel a little "verification", if you know what I mean.  Problem is, the guys we hang around are straight and we are not.  So of course they're going to find the pretty girls more attractive than us, because we aren't girls!  Whenever I ask guys what would make me more attractive, they usually say things like, "More make-up, longer hair"... very feminine traits.  We've got to find ourselves some gay guys!

[kyril]

Yep. Go make queer friends!

[kyril]

Ever considered other gay FTMs as potential partners?

That was answered upthread.

[meh]

I have yet to come out to my boyfriend, but I know that our relationship wouldn't last if I did. He's said to me before that he's just not attracted to guys. Though he did say before that he would do Johnny Depp ;p Maybe there is hope, if I somehow look like Johnny Depp after transitioning. *sigh*

Another thing is that I enjoy being a top, but my bf wants me no where near that area so I'm always the bottom. I have yet to find a guy that would let me "poke" them lol.

I have a gay guy friend and I asked him what if he hit on a guy and the guy turned out to be trans and he said "ew" to me. He told me that he would need to be really really hot and even then he probably wouldn't want anything to do with them.

fml