Two years late

[kae m]

It took two years of completely freaking out and at least a dozen false starts, but I finally came out to my closest male friend.  He took it way better than I ever expected him to.  He said he wanted me to be doing things safely, be 100% sure this is what I want and that doing this lets me be happy.  When I told him how long I've been seeing my therapist, the endo, and going to the support group he said he was just happy for me and wished I told him sooner.  Wow!  Considering I half expected for him to tell me I'm crazy and then just pretend I said nothing - instead he summed it up pretty well: "it's really not that big of a deal, it's not like you're a totally different person and we're still friends".  I would have hugged him, but I didn't want to risk totally overloading him

[jainie marlena]

I have had false starts and told some people over the years, but it has all added up and helped push me forward. I look at it the way that I quit smoking. not failed stops, but more like brakes until I was ready fully stop. haven't smoke in 5 years. a lot of things are habits female or male. braking old ones starting new ones.

[sneakersjay]

Congrats!

Did he not even notice how you have been changing?  Had he ever commented on your appearance?


Jay

[Michael Joseph]

Thats awesome. It was almost the same for me. I had been trying to tell my best friend for a long time but i was basically only dropping hints by saying things half jokingly to see how she would take it. When i finally straight up told her she just said that she wants me to be absolutely sure before I transition and it wouldn't change anything between us...I'd just be like the brother she never had. It felt awesome

[kae m]

Congrats!

Did he not even notice how you have been changing?  Had he ever commented on your appearance?


Jay

Thanks!

Basically the biggest comment I ever got from him was when I started wearing my hair in a ponytail, and his comment came more than a month after I started wearing my hair like that.  Even though I've known he's mostly oblivious for the 15+ years I've known him, I was amazed how little he actually seemed to pick up on.  He had come to the conclusion that I was gay and told me that's what he thought I wanted to tell him, but if transgender was in his vocabulary maybe it would have clicked.  I think he was surprised but decided it makes sense in hindsight.

I was getting annoyed with him because I've tried to start the conversation a few different times in the last couple months and it went nowhere, but I didn't want to just blurt it out.  I would ask him if we could talk about something important going on with me and he'd either change the subject or say he was too stressed/whatever to talk about anything serious.  Sunday night I decided to stop asking him if we could talk and pretty bluntly told him we needed to talk and set a time.  That worked much better than asking to talk "sometime" about "something".  (duh)