This is so odd!

[sarahm]

I met this cute guy on an online dating site, he contacted me a couple of days ago and asked me if the reason why my past was so depressing and why I attempted self harm in February this year was because I was going through a sex change.

I was stunned! And I told him absolutely everything and have been totally face to face honest with him. He seemed to take it quite well.
Unfortunately, I haven't been able to speak to him in 2 days. I think I may be in love with him. I can't stop thinking about him at all. I dream about him, I daydream about him, encouraging and supporting me through my next 11 months pre-op. This is the first time in my life that I couldn't get someone off of my mind, and out of my thoughts.

Aside from that. I have developed a nervous twitch in my neck over the past 2 days also. Like, I was trying to drink some cola yesterday, and the twitch kept happening as I put my lips to the glass, nearly spilt the drink like 3 times.
Today, when I went into the government to get my benefits, The place was packed, and only 1 person at reception. I had the twitch and elevated heart rate the whole time I was in there. I've never felt like that before.

[confused]

first off , you definitely should get checked about that twitch and elevated heart rate , it sounds serious
secondly , as someone who strongly believes love only causes trouble , yet this sounds awesome if it goes well , but don't get too attached to avoid possible hurt in the future (don't listen to me i have issues in that area lol , seriously though)

[sarahm]

I just spent 20 minutes crying in front of a mirror because of how sad I felt, and looked. I seriously think I love him. And I feel distant because he hasn't spoken to me.

Oh, and with that twitch, yeah I probably should. I'll see if it improves soon.

The only changes I've had was a new medication (Anti-anxiety) Thats all. I take those because the DR and Myself believe that I may have anxiety induced asthma, so we're trialing this medication to see if a condition I have had for 4 years improves.

But yeah. I think that the twitch is purely psychological, but I will bring it up with him at my next checkup unless it becomes to unbearable that I need to see him before hand.

[lilacwoman]

sarahm!  you're the psychology student, not us.
your feelings and twitch might be nothing more than a girlie psyche struggling out from all the male overburden...
from my own surfings round chatrooms I'm sure lots of us find special buddies who seem to be soulmates...but if all we have are words on a screen we can't really be sure of what's what...but romantic dreams have inspired millions fo books and songs and films ...enjoy the feelings.

[sarahm]

sarahm!  you're the psychology student, not us.
your feelings and twitch might be nothing more than a girlie psyche struggling out from all the male overburden...
from my own surfings round chatrooms I'm sure lots of us find special buddies who seem to be soulmates...but if all we have are words on a screen we can't really be sure of what's what...but romantic dreams have inspired millions fo books and songs and films ...enjoy the feelings.

When you say it like that LOL.

I'm just really really wanting to speak to him again, and I haven't seen him online or heard from him in 2 days... He said that he'd be on yesterday... I stayed up until 1am, then I woke up at 4am couldn't sleep so I decided to wait in front of my computer, hoping that he'd come online. No luck obviously.
I really want to know if he is ok with it all, and if he still wants to get to know me more. I am who I am, and if people judge me for who I was in my past, then that is their issue. I just... I really like him and I really want to continue talking to him and just know that everything is fine and that he is ok with me being how I am, and who I was.

It must sound stupid. Sorry, I never should of posted this up.

[Cindy]

Honey,
Sounds as if you've got a big dose of girl.

Enjoy.

Cindy

[spacial]

Anti-anxiolitics can cause twitching.

The last time I was on them, many years ago now, I developed a strange tingling in my neck, every time I turned my head.

These are quite well documented. Their causes are moot, of course. The deep seated emotion school claims they are some repressed stuff emerging. The psychiatrist school claims they are illusions, the bio school says they are chemical side effects.

Personally, I tend to think if the benefits ourweigh the problems then ignore them.

As for the panic, you don't need to be a psychology student to figure out what's causing those. Neither do you to work out what to do about them.

As for your beau, we're here for you. Men can be so strange sometimes. 

[sarahm]

I have had very little sleep over monday and tuesday, I managed to get a bit of sleep today... I still cant stop thinking about him. This is crazy lol. And yet, same thing. I haven't seen or heard from him yet.

[uni]

You don't love him, you are over the top infatuated. Psychologically, there is so much that is unknown about this guy that your mind is filling in the blanks with fantasy. A side effect is elation.

The number one way to scare a new guy off is to act as if you need him. I think you may be coming off a bit too strong. There are plenty of men out there so don't limit yourself by having your heart set on this one only. Be cautious and don't give him too much power over your feelings or you will end up hurt.

By the way, those feelings are normal. My heart has been known to skip beats, my breathing irregular, all sorts of weird physical symptoms.

[Zelane]

Houston, we have a teenager.

Seriously, you are just having a 16 year old girl crush on this guy. Enjoy and weep if needed :p

[sarahm]

Has he expressed romantic interest in you?

In the earlier stages, yes, we got talking and alike.

The number one way to scare a new guy off is to act as if you need him. I think you may be coming off a bit too strong. There are plenty of men out there so don't limit yourself by having your heart set on this one only. Be cautious and don't give him too much power over your feelings or you will end up hurt.

Hmm, that sounds logical.
I took a step back, and didn't try to talk to him for a couple of days. Low and behold, on the third day, he finally spoke to me! Oh was that a relief. And the fact that what we talked about was nothing to do with me being born male, shows continued potential in a relationship, and that fact that it isn't really a big deal.

Houston, we have a teenager.

Seriously, you are just having a 16 year old girl crush on this guy. Enjoy and weep if needed :p

Possibly, quite possibly this is the case. But who knows.

[sarahm]

What's your benchmark for the difference between conversation/friendship and romantic attraction?

I don't know what you mean.

[Coppélia]

I tried an online relationship once. Best 5 months of my life. I was so emotionally involved that I tried to kill myself when it turned out to be all fake.

Be mindful of what they call "Hyper-personal Relationships". When speaking online people tend to have more time to self-edit their interactions and present an idealized or romanticized version of themselves or sometimes a completely different persona.

That's not to say no one online is real, just be careful.

This does not only happen to teenagers, but to almost everyone online. A lot of times subconsciously. The biggest obstacle is the lack of non-verbal cues (facial expressions, hand gestures, tone of voice, etc...) to help you understand their feelings. Emoticons can be a substitute for facial expressions but can also be misleading, misinterpreted, or misused. If you really want to get the best impression possible of what a person is like in person (while still mediating through a computer) try skype or some other video/audio chat, and try it more than once.

[Debra]

Hey girl

Just thought I'd chime in. I've felt like this recently about a girl, a trans girl actually. We started talking online, she lived in another state.....and I let my heart get way too attached too quickly. At some point, when she had to go logoff, I started crying. She didn't talk to me for a good week and I was going crazy. I finally talked to her about it and we basically split and I haven't really heard much from her since.

Be careful how fast you jump into things.......my latest boyfriend, I tried to hold off emotions and i made it for like 3 weeks and then they started flowing. Things are ok, we have a good time but he doesn't quite feel love yet....while me, well yah I pretty much do and I think he knows it.

Anyway, I guess my point is, be careful how fast you get emotionally involved. It can be heartbreaking =/

[Izumi]

heh, guys and dating sites....

I would be careful here for many reasons. 
#1) Your not in love with him, your in a vulnerable time right now and anyone showing a caring attitude can be misinterpreted, especial when you throw hormones into the mix.  I went through the same...

#2) Guys typically like saving girls in distress, some have some kind of psychological thing that they can help, after your all better, they leave to save some other girl.

#3)  Right off the bat TS dating has a 33% chance of success for a number of reasons.  With a gg the chance is 50/50, since you either get a nice guy or a sexual deviant.  With TS you get nice guy, sexual deviant, gay/lesbian person that cant accept they are gay/lesbian.

#4) dating while your not happy with yourself is the worst thing you can do.  I mean if you dont like yourself, why should others like you? You will find once you are happier with yourself people come to you rather then you to them, because your a joy to be around, finding someone like this is much better.

#5) love is about giving not taking.  if you love someone you would put their needs in front of your own, and if they love you they would do the same, anyone that doesnt do that isnt in love with you or you with them.  Everything else isnt love, its selfishness.

Some background about me, i have been full time for over a year, i found a BF by accident, that is leading to marriage (hopefully next year), we knew each other for 8 months and are now living together, hes straight, our relationship started out as friends, in in all the time he knew me he didnt know i was TS, all he saw was a woman.  Eventually we started dating so i had to tell him, he still wanted to continue.  I also met a guy before him that to my face said he loved me and it was a lie, dont underestimate how a guy can and will lie to you, you have to be aware and look for red flags and not cloud your vision with fantasy you create for yourself.