So yesterday I had a another chat with my psychologist and still things are moving very slowly
Which I guess does get depressing
Today I gave my mum a little something I wrote up, and actually felt the confidence within me to talk more about it
The letter itself was pretty detailed and had explained how I wanted to take testosterone. I really only left her with two decisions...either seriously look into getting testosterone or watch me suffer and possible consider suicide all over again
I dont know if this was a really fair or nice thing to pressure her into
but Im really hurting and dont want to look like a girl when I grow up simply because my mother thought it would be best to "see if my mind would change".
So now here I am, and she is reading about what testosterone does
But shes only reading about the bad stuff it does
Before all this, she obviously had no idea about the changes testosterone can cause in a girl. She said that no matter how much I take, that I will never look like a boy or feel like a complete one either
So I showed her a video of the changes testosterone had on that guy called Skylareleven on youtube, and after it had finished, my mum was like "oh I reckon it messes up your brain, you can still see there is something not quite right about him... or SHE or IT" and that just made me so angry
Aaah, I dont think she is gonna end up being very supportive, even tho she always said she would have. But she is taking the time to read about what testosterone does! She believes that age may be an issue however. Although I am hoping I can win her over! Still, the plan is to make some noise, come out of hiding and show my mum that it is a big deal, that something needs to be done and I am sad!
Im taking everything to the next step
Every time my mum calls me "she" I will correct it
