told my best friend

[Coppélia]

So as I mentioned earlier I lunched with my best friend today (or yesterday cuz it's so late). I knew I wanted to tell him and I was going to be sly about it, testing the waters first and such. I kept hesitating but everything we'd talk about kept reminding me that I had to get it off my chest. Finally I said to him "I'm a woman on the inside" and he said "huh...well I guess that makes sense"   

I feel so stupid now for stressing about it. He even said that he'd pretty much figure something along those lines. How did he know before I did?!? I don't think he'll call me Coppélia yet because we didn't really go in depth on the subject but I think I made some good progress today.

[Rock_chick]

It's  good feeling when that happens. hehe.

[Cindy]

So as I mentioned earlier I lunched with my best friend today (or yesterday cuz it's so late). I knew I wanted to tell him and I was going to be sly about it, testing the waters first and such. I kept hesitating but everything we'd talk about kept reminding me that I had to get it off my chest. Finally I said to him "I'm a woman on the inside" and he said "huh...well I guess that makes sense"   

I feel so stupid now for stressing about it. He even said that he'd pretty much figure something along those lines. How did he know before I did?!? I don't think he'll call me Coppélia yet because we didn't really go in depth on the subject but I think I made some good progress today.

Congratulations Coppélia,
Told you it helps
When I came out to my sister in law she just said, Oh I've known that for years, I was wondering when you would admit it.

She also didn't say why but did say; not many guys polish their finger nails and toe nails

Cindy

[lilacwoman]

at the risk of geeting booted from this forum like i have been from others i'll say: the reason they know is because in unguarded moments we act as the women we really are.
i say that if a TS hasn't got this obvious femaleness they aren't TS.

[Cindy]

at the risk of geeting booted from this forum like i have been from others i'll say: the reason they know is because in unguarded moments we act as the women we really are.
i say that if a TS hasn't got this obvious femaleness they aren't TS.

No problem with that and why should that get you booted from a forum

I think we do display our gender in 'ungrounded'  moments. 'cos we are TG, what do we hide? him or her? in either MtF or FtM. We do tend to live a life of secrecy, I think 'we' all grow up in fear. I hope that is changing.

Cindy

[Wendy1974]

at the risk of geeting booted from this forum like i have been from others i'll say: the reason they know is because in unguarded moments we act as the women we really are.
i say that if a TS hasn't got this obvious femaleness they aren't TS.

I think people who go around making baseless definitive statements on experiences and attributes required to qualify as either transsexual or as female are dangerous idiots. See; I can make definitive statements too.

[cynthialee]

at the risk of geeting booted from this forum like i have been from others i'll say: the reason they know is because in unguarded moments we act as the women we really are.
i say that if a TS hasn't got this obvious femaleness they aren't TS.

we dont need you setting a difinative line on whats trans or not. What if some gal who is on the verge of takeing a permanant vacation and has no history of fem behaiviors reads that crap and detransitions or kills her self?

[alexia elliot]

To tell you galls truth (if there is such), I have been a member of this family a while now and at first some arguments made me take sides but as time goes on and I get wiser ( some times wise ass ) I realize that through all the statements and interaction however disturbing at times, we are building a stronger family that of tolerance and love and hate at times but look at every better family out there. Take Italians for instance, Oh boy, they all love each other but at the dinner table shouting and pulling, all in love! I am using stereotype and I probably shouldn't have but this is exactly what our family is about, tolerance. I call it family but I think it is a society just very small and so far cyber at the moment. I have learned huge respect from the girls here and believe me this family has saved my soul cause I was at the edge of loosing me. There are few Mother Theressa's here and just like she, they don't realize who they are. So go on and say what's on your mind, and don't mind, just use your love and be your self!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Janet_Girl]

I had to laugh at the "Unguarded moments".  My ex hated it because I would 'forget' and place my hand on my hip.  She would glare at me till I moved it.  She always said 'guys don't stand like that', but it was normal for me.

[Coppélia]

I agree that we don't need a line defining what's trans and what's not. However you're right about "unguarded" moments. Unlike Janet (not meant as an insult) I am so self conscious that I'd usually notice those moments and be like "wait don't do that, that's too girly". Obviously I wasn't as good at it as I thought cuz he noticed them

[Bethy1]

at the risk of geeting booted from this forum like i have been from others i'll say: the reason they know is because in unguarded moments we act as the women we really are.
i say that if a TS hasn't got this obvious femaleness they aren't TS.

Although I seem to be guilty of that myself, I can not in any way agree with that. First off, each of us begins developing at whatever age, and usually isolated from each other. We end up writing our own rulebooks for survival in a gender binary world, and I can almost 100% guarantee you we each come up with different rules and different playbooks. Some of us are going to be more on guard with mannerisms to the point of habit 24/7 and be prepared to cover a slip-up, some may go a more hypermasculinization or hyperfeminization facade kind of route, and others may simply not even bother trying to hide it. I'm sure there are other approaches as well.

And just what good does it really do for us to decide who is "more TS than thou"?

• Make enemies out of friends- check
• Divide us and make us weaker for our detractors- check
• Fracture us and make info and resources more difficult to come by- check
• Make it harder for someone who is trying to figure themselves out because they don't fit this or that yardstick instead of putting our diversity up front. This is a potential life-waster- check

It's not like we don't have enough room in the sandbox to share, is it?

Just my two cents.

[alexia elliot]

Bethy, spoken like a true feminist!
Absolutely, if we as individuals want to achieve understanding and joy of being our selves wouldn't it be wise to do onto others as we want others do onto us.

[sarahm]

Wow... I've never had this happen yet. And I've been out for quite a while, and am full time / HRT so on. I always tried to fit in, and well, I got that good at it that no one would even think I was strange or different. I hated being around too many people, I got confused and couldn't keep up a very convincing persona, even if I knew these people, or even if they were my family. But around smallish groups, of like 5 - 10 people or so, I was alright, and I would fit in, except times when I would just stand there completely blank. But hey, what are ya gonna do? lol
Now, I happily can sit in a room full of people, and listen out for keywords, and hear something interesting and just join in the conversation Gosh I love being me, and female (Female is me, but I wanted to state it) because socially, it's not abnormal for a female to participate in an open conversation of her choosing. ^_^

[lilacwoman]

I had to laugh at the "Unguarded moments".  My ex hated it because I would 'forget' and place my hand on my hip.  She would glare at me till I moved it.  She always said 'guys don't stand like that', but it was normal for me.

I was once working as very male skinhead and had rested my hand on my hip as I used to do quite naturally and one of the guys came over and redfaced and very embarrassed told me not to stand like that as it made me look like a woman.

I do find it amusing that so many peope who claim to be transsexual do object to the idea that they would or should have natural female behaviour especially once they have started transition and have no reason not to try hide it.

[cynthialee]

My ungaurded moments were so frequent that I didn't even start to realize I was throwing out fem signals.
My entire family had me pegged as a gay boy by age 5 because of it.

[lilacwoman]

My ungaurded moments were so frequent that I didn't even start to realize I was throwing out fem signals.
My entire family had me pegged as a gay boy by age 5 because of it.

precisely what i mean.

Post Merge: June 25, 2010, 09:38:57 AM
It's not like we don't have enough room in the sandbox to share, is it?

Just my two cents.
[/quote]
who said anything about being more TS than thou?
Post Merge: June 25, 2010, 10:41:09 AM

we dont need you setting a difinative line on whats trans or not. What if some gal who is on the verge of takeing a permanant vacation and has no history of fem behaiviors reads that crap and detransitions or kills her self?

why would someone with no history of fem behaviour want to start transition?

[cynthialee]

why would someone with no history of fem behaviour want to start transition?

What if said individule has done a top notch job at not presenting such behaviors?

Other than that I wouldn't know. But it shouldn't be a point of debate or contention. Such a person has their own row to hoe. We really have no right to speak on anouther persons afirmed gender. Niether do we have any vested interest in such.

If the person in question is just nutz then so be it. leave them be.