Mega-Confused

[MalcolmAllen]

Aight.  So I went to the beach with a bunch of friends yesterday, and included among the group was this guy who is a friend of a friend.  His name is Ray.

Now, I've always considered myself a straight man (well, after I got done thinking I was a lesbian).  But man, Ray gets me.  He asked me out last night in a text message, saying something along the lines of "guy, girl or somewhere in between I'm really attracted to you."  First of all it was amazing to hear that someone didn't care about the awkward in-transition body I have right now.  Second of all, this all really screwed with my idea of myself liking only women.

Has this happened to anyone else? I really like him, and we're going for coffee tonight.  I'm willing to give it a shot but I just gotta get my mind past this -you are straight- attitude.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

I don't consider gender in anyone I like. It's called pansexual. Wiki it. There's no shame in not being entirely straight.

[Arch]

Well...I sort of had the opposite experience. I have always seen myself as gay, even before I knew that term. But I wanted so badly to be seen as queer that I styled myself as somewhat bisexual, even though I didn't fantasize about being with women as a woman and even though my few forays into "lesbian" sexual encounters were really a dismal disappointment.

I kept revising my opinion of how bi I was, till it was down to about a tenth of a percent.

Once I really accepted myself as a transsexual and started transition, the bisexual feelings vanished away, and I haven't looked back.

But I've run into a few people who've experienced what you are describing. I imagine some of them will weigh in on this thread sooner or later.

[Arch]

Actually, there was one girl (woman) in my life that I was genuinely attracted to. It was twenty years ago. I keep forgetting about her. I would have been terrified and completely stymied if I'd actually found myself in bed with her. Sexually speaking, female anatomy absolutely turns me off. So I guess it was more of a physical attraction than a sexual attraction, if you know what I mean.

So your dating pool just opened up a little. Run with it. Have fun.

[notyouraverageguy]

It happens, ppl experiment with their sexuality throughout their lives. Its fluid &won't always be the same. Don't just stick to one mindset, open yourself up to other possibilities.

Good luck, &im glad u found someone that's willing to accept u for who u are.

[LordKAT]

I like the ladies, always have. I find some guys are attractive but then notice that I want to have their body for myself, not be with them. There was one man I ever loved and we are not together. The rest is blah. I would do it so I fit in but I don't have to anymore so I don't. If I ever find a guy that I could love, I'd go for it but that isn't where my attention usually goes.

[Alessandro]

If I were you I would certainly give it a shot.  You don't find people you are attracted to every day, not least those that are attracted to you back, especially with the added complication we all share.

I consider myself gay but am currently with a female-bodied person.  As long as the attraction is there, the actual plumbing is immaterial.

[insanitylives]

my ex boyfriend came out as a boy about six months ago. Both of us, at the time, identified as straight.

now that will make you reconsider your sexuality.

[we broke up recently for unrelated reasons]

[MalcolmAllen]

Well, update on the situation: I went out with him, and he's just about the best person I've known in a really long time.  So we'll be seeing eachother again and I'm going to give it a serious chance.  No point limiting myself with silly labels

[notyouraverageguy]

No point limiting myself with silly labels

Im happy for you !