Questions about Hormones

[Sabene]

I need some advice based on medical fact and some of your mutual experiences who may have gone through female hormone treatments.

My wife and I had a very interesting conversation about me possibly going on hormones in order to allow me to present as female 24/7/365.  I am still very much in a place where I have no interest in full transition...and yet, living and presenting as female full-time is very much a desire of my heart.  I am clear however that the desires of the heart, and the reality of life do not always correlate. 

So I am wondering...I am interested in exploring going on a dosage of hormones that would give me some of the secondary feminine characteristics of skin, shape, breasts, etc...and yet if possible not affect my sexual drive, nor the ability of my penis to function pretty fully.  My wife and I are both pretty happy with it and would like to keep him functional, and -me- interested.

I am not sure if this is possible, or if the reality is different.

I would also like to hear people's experiences with how hormones affected/changed your personality - if it did at all, or what differences you saw in yourself.

I did a search, but did not find much that seemed to apply here.  It would be great if anyone has links to any medical research that describes the impact of hormones on sexual function and if there are benchmarks for how much will begin to affect sexual drive and capability.

I also have to say that having a wife who is willing to explore this option with me is the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world...I cannot even begin to say how just knowing that I have this option makes me feel.  I love her so much...  <3

Thank you. 

[Asfsd4214]

Sexually it had nearly no impact, I still desire sex, just without any real 'drive' to have it and not as often.

Personality wise? Might have made my emotions a tad bit more unstable, otherwise I wouldn't report any change.

You can't really pick and choose what you want though, and results differ for different people.

Really it boils down too, you won't know until you try, and you should know and be prepared for the risks.

[Sabene]

Thank you for your replies.  I have been dong a lot of thinking and processing in the hours since I posted this.  I think that what it boils down to for me, is self-acceptance.  I have come a long way in the past two years...so much of this female expression is new and somewhat scary.  I keep looking at how I am - feeling more at home in my skin when I am in a female-mode.  The clothes do not create that...it is internal...and what I am feeling internally is wonderful, but it is too tainted right now with fear.  Fear of rejection, fear of withdrawl of love...

Looking for a battering ram external solution when what I need is inside -first-.  Before I take any step down this path, I have to be okay with just being a "guy in girl's clothing" - both within me and with the world's view and acceptance/rejection of me.  Taking hormones in order to better "blend in" and not have to -deal- with self acceptance is where I think I was going.

From where I am with me, to where those that love me are with me, to Bubba at the Ren Faire who has had too much to drink and sees me and has a reaction...self acceptance has to come from me first, within me first...

And that is going to be so hard...