Ugh Frustrated with therapy....

[Jillary Woolen Xσx]

My Therapist Frustrates me.
She is a "LGBT" Therapist who specializes in orientation.
and although she is a kind hearted woman, she is not a woman of incite in the transgender community or anything having to do with transgender.
She constantly lectures me about orientation and the gay pride events and gay history etc. and trys to find ways to make me question who i am, for example by asking "are you sure your TS and not Gay?"
even though I've explained myself MANY times to her.
As much as I care about The LGB community I'm not there for Orientation.
I feel Like She Doesn't understand What I'm going Through and it Pisses me off that I'm Constantly Explaining it to Her.

I began seeing her in March '09 once a week because she thought it was crucial
and in December i altogether stopped showing up because I needed a break from her
because when i asked her to give me the "OK" for SRS she said she was going to write "next Week" and a week later it was  or she would say "Oops i Forgot. i'll Write It Tonight", and a week later it was "Next week" again and etc. until i stopped seeing her
I don't know what to do. I need to start seeing a therapist again because I NEED THE "OK" FOR SRS but i don't know if i should call her and say Hey can we start sessions again?
or if i should start sessions with a new therapist who is actually insightful and educated in GID and Gender Issues.

but if i did, would i have to wait another year with that new therapist to get the ok??

I Am Beyond Frustrated and I'm Sure you Can Tell by reading this post that My thoughts are Everywhere about this too lol!!

Jocelyn

GAH I'm So Confused!! and i'm Sure my Frustration is evident

[Sarah B]

Hi Jocelyn

I'm sorry you are frustrated but you need to get a new therapist as soon as possible.  You current therapist or counsellor is not helping you and in fact is holding you back or maybe manipulating you.  This is evident from what you have said for example, lecturing on gay issues, are you sure your not gay and even the audacity, 'she forgot about the SRS letter'.  She is not a kind hearted women, because a therapist or counsellor is there to help you, not hinder you or to put obstacles in front of you.

Maybe go back for one more visit and say to her I would like my SRS letter and I would like it today or give her a couple of days to write the letter.  If this is not possible then you need to take your losses and move on.

In which case you need to find another two therapists, counsellors or psychologists who specialises in transgender issues now.  The WPATH standards generally require two letters for surgery and one for hormone treatment.  So you actually need two 'therapists' for two surgery letters.  So that you can change without further set backs, assuming that you are already on hormones.  When you do seek out a new friendly 'therapist' you need to ask them, some of the following questions:

• Are they  familiar with Gender Identity Disorder?
• Do they have any experience with treating it
• Do they have other patients with similar problems?
• Are they familiar with the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)? or the Standards of Care (SOC) and do they follow them?
• Are they able to write a letter for SRS or GRS?

When you see them, tell them, that you are seeking a letter stating that you can have SRS or GRS, tell them you have been seeing another therapist and have done so for the past year and tell them exactly, why you are seeking a new 'therapist'.  I want your help to become the person I want to become.

Visit several 'therapists' so you can find one that you are comfortable with and state what you want and please don't be afraid to ask questions.  Otherwise, how else will you ever get what you want, if you don't ask?

I hope the above makes you less confused and hopefully from this, you can take control of your own life.  Take care and all the best for the future.

Kind regards
Sarah B

[Nero]

I agree with Sarah B, you should move on. Definitely tell your new therapist about your run around with her. Sounds like you've already had about a year of therapy and a serious therapist will be able to evaluate you. Are you fulltime?

[lilacwoman]

My Therapist Frustrates me.
She is a "LGBT" Therapist who specializes in orientation.
and although she is a kind hearted woman, she is not a woman of incite in the transgender

yp.. you need a new therapist who knows about TS stuff...sounds like this one is lesbian who doesn't believe in TSism.
As a professional she should be willing to write a report on your progress to your new therapist so  your care can continue and if you have proof of doing RLE then you need to emphasize that you are seeking early SRS and not a runaround.

[Samantha_Peterson]

I can definitely sympathize with you. A therapist with experience is SOOO much better than one who just has had some learning in this area and who seems like they are trying to hold you back.

[spacial]

I can understand and sympathise with your frustration being patronised in this way.

You are asking for control over your own body.

[Jillary Woolen Xσx]

Hi Jocelyn

I'm sorry you are frustrated but you need to get a new therapist as soon as possible.  You current therapist or counsellor is not helping you and in fact is holding you back or maybe manipulating you.  This is evident from what you have said for example, lecturing on gay issues, are you sure your not gay and even the audacity, 'she forgot about the SRS letter'.  She is not a kind hearted women, because a therapist or counsellor is there to help you, not hinder you or to put obstacles in front of you.

Maybe go back for one more visit and say to her I would like my SRS letter and I would like it today or give her a couple of days to write the letter.  If this is not possible then you need to take your losses and move on.

In which case you need to find another two therapists, counsellors or psychologists who specialises in transgender issues now.  The WPATH standards generally require two letters for surgery and one for hormone treatment.  So you actually need two 'therapists' for two surgery letters.  So that you can change without further set backs, assuming that you are already on hormones.  When you do seek out a new friendly 'therapist' you need to ask them, some of the following questions:

• Are they  familiar with Gender Identity Disorder?
• Do they have any experience with treating it
• Do they have other patients with similar problems?
• Are they familiar with the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)? or the Standards of Care (SOC) and do they follow them?
• Are they able to write a letter for SRS or GRS?

When you see them, tell them, that you are seeking a letter stating that you can have SRS or GRS, tell them you have been seeing another therapist and have done so for the past year and tell them exactly, why you are seeking a new 'therapist'.  I want your help to become the person I want to become.

Visit several 'therapists' so you can find one that you are comfortable with and state what you want and please don't be afraid to ask questions.  Otherwise, how else will you ever get what you want, if you don't ask?

I hope the above makes you less confused and hopefully from this, you can take control of your own life.  Take care and all the best for the future.

Kind regards
Sarah B

Thank you So Much Sarah!
That did help a lot, and thats exactly how I Feel.... like I have no control of my life...
I need the Ok from two therapists?
Would My Endocrinologist be able to write one of these letters?
Post Merge: August 01, 2010, 02:16:32 PM

I agree with Sarah B, you should move on. Definitely tell your new therapist about your run around with her. Sounds like you've already had about a year of therapy and a serious therapist will be able to evaluate you. Are you fulltime?

Yeah. I've been Full time since i was 14.
she came out to me and told me she was a lesbian and that "I might not be so different from her"
It kind of made me sick just because i felt manipulated
and I've been manipulated my whole life so i know what its like.... but i stuck with her because i needed My HRT and SRS Letter.
She Never Evn wrote my HRT letter but I told my ENDO the situation and he said there is no reason for me not to start HRT as I needed it to "Start my Life"
He's a nice old sweedish Man lol
Post Merge: August 01, 2010, 03:20:43 PM

I can understand and sympathise with your frustration being patronised in this way.

You are asking for control over your own body.

UGH!!! and it's exhausting!!!
and Her excuse for not having completed the Letters when i asked for them is that she "Wanted to Accumulate Info" because she "cares about me" and doesn't want me to "regret anything" even though I've seen her as long as I Have and i've proven without a doubt to her that I know who and what I am....

How do I go about find a GOOD new therapist my insurance covers?
(I wont be Insured again Until next month though) and last time I asked them to give me a therapist who was covered, they gave me Her.