On and off the Internet

[aydan_boy]

Does anyone else find that people are WAY more accepting on the internet about you being trans then off it? For example, I recently created an account on a chat/pen pal site, where i am quite open about who i am. When people ask i respond that I'm indeed transgender. There fine with it, sometimes even interested in finding out a bit more, while off the net, the moment i say that, its end of conversation, good bye, good luck, and I'll probably never hold a real conversation with them again...
Anyone else know what I'm talking about?
Why is that?

[Sinnyo]

There are entire academic papers on this, I'm sure. Part of it may be down to the fact computer use distances us from people, conversations and ideas. There's no need to respond immediately, such as with facial expressions, and you may be affected less by the concepts you're exposed to. That gives us time to consider things more reasonably. That's my thin theory, anyway.

Another big part will be that internet users are still something of a niche. Those who use it to seek out new ideas and perspectives are likely to be quite open-minded people, and although there are some very narrow-minded communities about, it sounds like you're not exposing yourself to those.

[uni]

I believe that when people are together in person, they rely heavily on what their friends and others around them find acceptable. If one friend blurts out something offensive, even if another doesn't believe it to be true, they will laugh along or not speak up just so they will blend in and conform. It's easier.

Online however, all those social distractions are gone and people don't have to worry about being judged.

[tekla]

I think you're both right.  First you have something at a distance, removed from you and your life, and it's easier to accept difference from far away then it is in your own backyard.  The classic statement along those line is from the time of the Civil Rights Movement when there was a notion of "Some of my best friends are Negroes, but I wouldn't want my sister to marry one."

Second, I think that in the isolation of the internet, or even RL in a one on one conversation, people can be a lot more reflective, and a lot less reflexive because there is no group they are trying to impress, or be a part of.

[spacial]

I agree with the point made but will add that, in my experience, for males, if people even suspect that you are not 100% hetro, then they assume you are after them. Moreover, that you want their bottoms.

Just thinking about it makes me feel sick. If these people could stop for a moment and think about what they are actually saying. Talk about closet poofs. 

[Hikari]

it seems to me that human beings either get much more tolerant or much less when anonymity is introduced. I think that most of the vile things people may say and do online though, is usually more attention getting than real opinion though. What flabbergasts though, me are the crazy things people yell out at me when they are driving by and I am walking. A car seems to provide people a similar cloak as the internet, no one would ever come up to me in the mall and start yelling things at me.

I would just be thankful that the OP is getting the better side of this.

I think a fair bit of the reason why people in real life tend to be so mean is that they assume other people will judge them if they are not so mean. I find then when telling someone something one on one without their friends knowing, they treat me fine, but if things become public knowledge they feel pressure to be negative based on their assumptions that other people feel that way. The truth of the matter is that most people are probably less judgmental than they are, if that makes any sense.