Melissa, I actually composed a long response telling you how great our 17 year marraige is... but really, that is irrelevant to the topic here. Let me just say you have some very good questions for my situation. And believe it or not, we have addressed them and dealt with them. He has had to deal with doctors in a hospital when they refused to treat me early on in our relationship. There are many other instances that I could cite... like visiting with my family. My parents still can't do pronouns even though I've legally carried my female name for most of my adult life.
For me, in this situation, I have been able to carry out his wishes. His family lives in another state and my family in yet another. The two have never met. And they likely never will. I helped rear his son who has not been told. He calls me Mom and I cherish our relationship. One day, we may tell him. But we see no compelling reason to let it out for now. When that time comes, we will be forthright about it. And I'll give him a copy my book.
Lori, I don't know how to answer your question. I truly don't. I was planning on living my life alone when hubby stumbled into my life. Before I met him, I had planned on sharing my life with good friends and for that period in my life, it worked. My Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays were always a wonderful time for the diversity in my home. Only one year did I spend my holidays alone. I vied to never let that happen again. I've always befriended all kinds of very interesting people. They have been a treasure in my life. I've always cherished my friends. Many have come and gone, but I've managed to keep a few lifelong friends. I'm sure that this tradition will continue with or without hubby.
When I was younger, I was always a loner. When I found myself really alone without my family, I decided that had to change. Someone told me once "to have a friend you must first be a friend". So to start, I invited everyone I knew who had no where to go over for Thanksgiving dinner. And that started my "new family" tradition. There have been a few who have taken advantage of me. And that happens. For the most part however, my life has been enriched beyond measure.
Susan, the reason I posed this question is that I have lived it. It has been very beneficial for me. I could extend the question even a bit further. I personally feel that posting a picture of what I currently look like (my avatar pic is 19 years old) it might turn out to be detrimental to my own children. They are adults now, married with their own children. If I were totally open, could I hurt my own kids who are subject to the strict traditions of their faith in Utah? Although we have never talked about it, I do try to use some common sense in what I make publically available.
I have walked the walk and talked the talk.
Cindi
