Reality is often very different than the things we expect to happen. Remember that and take heart. I came out to my wife this week, in a counselling session, and her reaction was SO different than I was expecting, I still can't believe it. She didn't run screaming from the room, she didn't pass out, or have a heart attack, or any of the many things I had expected might happen. The world didn't end. We're talking, still together, and she seems to be striving towards acceptance, although there is a LOT of work to do yet. Still. I now know how deeply she loves me - she's even asked if we could still live together (I assume she means if I end up transitioning). She hasn't thought it all the way through yet, but she's working on it. She's a brave girl. And she wants to be supportive, to be there for me. That's HUGE.
So take heart, girl. The world doesn't work quite the way we think it does, and people are actually capable of growth and understanding, we just have to give them a chance. Maybe that's why we are the way we are, to teach others about acceptance. I'd like to think there's SOME great payoff for all this heartache...