Concerns

[Raven]

I have came out to some of my friends as male most of them accept it and are like ok that's cool. But i do have one female friend that I did come out to and she insites to still treat me as female and still call me by my birth name. I don't what to do, should I just grite my teeth and take it or what? But my biggest concerns are coming out to my family as they just idk seem like the types that would reject me and disown me. My mom already made it clear to me that if I or my siblings were gay or whatever she would disown us, and that hurt greatly cause I am bisexual. It seems like I can't sit down with her and tell her that I'm a guy and I am also bi. It angers and upsets me mayb too much idk. I am even so concerned about getting anything that will help me appear more as male other than clothes. Cause I live with her still and she is nosy, what if she finds it or worse sees an order for me come in the mail? I just know she will want to know what it is and stuff...and I have major depression badly. Advice plz

[spacial]

Since you already know how your mom will react, it would be rather silly to tell her.

As much as it is upsetting you, it might be better to wait till you are more independant.

[glendagladwitch]

I think about half of us lose our family when we transition.  It's not right, but that's just the reality that we endure. 

Depression can be real obstacle to transition, but I know some, especially FTMs, who manged to kick their depression by starting T.  IDK if that's common.  Maybe some FTMs here can comment on that.

[xAndrewx]

Raven,
I'm pre-T but I've also heard that a lot of guys manage to either get rid of or lessen depression by T. All of my female friends and ex's wear gender neutral or mens clothes. Maybe if you two went shopping you could point out one or two mens items of clothing you like with everything else? That is what I used to have to do. My mom was always very open to the gay thing but the trans thing... not so much so I was terrified to come out to her. I started dropping hints by talking about my friend Katherine who is trans. Since you live with her you do have to be careful but finding this site is a good start. Even if you cant come out to her maybe you can at least make things (like clothes) a little easier on yourself. Do you have a friend who would let you ship stuff to their address? I did loose a friend because she just truly refused to see me as a male and once I was out I couldn't deal with that. Maybe you could talk to your friend and just explain how it feels (for me it actually hurts) to be called female and by your birthname, maybe if she hears that she will stop. If not maybe there is a gender neutral nickname you could get her to call you? I don't know exactly how much it angers and upsets you but I think most everyone on here would agree (I could be wrong) that its normal to be a little upset and maybe even a little angry to not be accepted. Wow... okay I'll stop now. Hopefully this helps a little.

[Raven]

Yea that makes since. As for my depression so its seems like throwing on some good music helps some. I'm not sure how a T would affeact me cause I don't know that much about it. Must do reasearch. I thank each of you sincerly. Blessed be~Raven
Post Merge: August 09, 2010, 06:54:40 PM
Thanks Alaxander that is something I will do for sure. Heh why didn't I think of that?

[Lacey Lynne]

Raven:

Yes, research T first before you take any.  Lots of good information about here right here on THIS website.  Also, watch where you get it from.  Buying it on the internet can be very risky.  You never know what you're getting or what the dosage actually is.  Best to see a gender counselor and get a regular doctor to prescription it.  That may not be possible for you right now, given your situation. 

Still live at home with your parents?  You may have to compromise for now.  That's a bummer, but it's still better than ending up on the streets.  Many of the other people here can tell you more than I can.  I'm not qualified to say anymore than I already have.

Look, good luck, man!  Stop by here, Susan's Place, anytime.  We're here for you. 

[Raven]

Yep I still live with her. Annnd I got the message today she wont accept it so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut about it heh. But in the mean time I plan on doing as much research I can and when I can hopefully I will be able to take T and everything. But surgery that is defently something I am not very sure about still have a lot to think about.

[holly.r2260]

If i was you and my friend was doing that I'd not respond to the birth name and when she says she then just  correct her. But thats just me.

[Raven]

That reminds me I did talk to her yesturday about that. I made her look at it from my situation I told her basically if she wass transgendered wouldn't she want the people that she came out to to treat her as the guy she is and when they don't it hurts and is degrading. She got the message pretty damn good after that   I suggested her to check out this site cause I really think it will help her understand more of where I'm coming from ya know. She says that she will when she can sso that's a plus heh. I know this comment is out of plus but I gotta say it I love it here its nice to come on here and know there are people here that are like me in one or another. Just give me time and I will be more open on here.

[Raven]

Grr typo I meant to not treat her as a guy. Sorry everyone.

[spacial]

You're doing fine Raven. Open up as you feel comfortable.

[Raven]

Thanks.