easing the anguish of dysphoria before transition

[Cruelladeville]

Sadly there ain't no relief me thinks.....

(And think of it more of simply being the 'human' condition)

All I know is during my twenties...my life reached a point where I couldn't continue with the 'male'.....lie....

So I had to free my 'inner' self....and this is where professional counselling helped me.... as their confirmation of my underlying problem...triggered permission within me to forgive myself....and like myself....

I will not tell you the journey through to the other side isn't hard, but then how do we think it is for someone that has to get up everyday to tray and beat cancer, or lives with severe diabetes or a whole host of other typical medical problemos....?

But now I'm in my 50's I consider myself to be so very lucky....to have lived half my life as the woman I always knew myself to really be...

Which is why I always liked that sci-fi Deep Space 9 character - Jadzia Dax and the way the station commander would refer to her as 'old man'

'Live long and prosper'... good advice that!....lol

[jillblum]

Glendagoodwitch,
Sounds like a I found a kindred spirit! I'm a Gibson girl primarily but I have Fender's, Martins, and others. What's your guitar of choice?
As for the money. I plan my major purchases way in advance. 

BTW Susan's is a great way to ease the anguish too!

[Sinnyo]

BTW Susan's is a great way to ease the anguish too!

Echoed. That's definitely true.

[Rock_chick]

I wrote music...quite dark and disturbing electronic stuff. It wasn't always an escape because i'd get very frustrated and not be able to write anything.

[glendagladwitch]

Glendagoodwitch,
Sounds like a I found a kindred spirit! I'm a Gibson girl primarily but I have Fender's, Martins, and others. What's your guitar of choice?

I also choose Gibson.  My LP is my main guitar.  I play some covers, like hendrix, zeppelin, and metallica, and my own arrangements of old 50s and 60s songs that usually make those songs rock a little harder.  But mostly I compose original stuff improvisationally. 

I have a strat relic that stays in mothballs, and taylor and martin acoustics.  I usually prefer the taylor for plugging in.  It has maple back and sides and the tone really sparkles with an aural enhancer built into the california blonde acoustic amp that I use.  I mostly flat pick with an electric guitar, but I play fingerstyle acoustic guitar. 

I have some nice amps, electric drums, PA system, and recording studio, but that's all packed up right now until I sell my house and move out of this dinky apartment I'm in right now.  I'm just getting by for now with a couple of small amps, and a pedal board with an amp switcher and a loop pedal on it.  Even my Taylor is packed away, but I bought a Little Martin and keep it stuck behind the couch where I can pull it out during commercial breaks.

[KirstenR]

I was addicted to Second Life, my Avatar was who I wished I was and hope to be LOL! It helped a lot but in the end actually made mt feelings stronger in the end.

[Colleen Ireland]

I'm feeling the anguish anew... I was in denial for so long, I actually forgot what it felt like.  It totally sucks.  I had been experiencing this for a few weeks, and because I was worrying about revealing things to my wife, like coming out to her, I was thinking it was about that, but now that all is out in the open, and I'm still feeling like this, I know what it is now.  I remember it now from so long ago.  And yes, Susan's does help some, but I need so much more.  I do hope I can find solace soon...

[jillblum]

Yay Les Pauls! I have a nicely yellowed 83' white custom (main guitar) and a 72' black beauty. One american and one mexican strat, a black SG, 59 Dano reissue and a Martin acoustic. I have Orange, Marshall and Fender tube amps. I compose original material as well. Lately though I've been focusing on growing as a lead player. I've spent the last few years unlearning bad habits, sharpening my ear and my timing while learning my favorite solos. I'm currently in the third Zeppelin renaissance of my lifetime    I also love Hendrix, Randy Rhodes, Jack White, Richie Blackmore, early Eric Clapton,  Sabbath, Maiden, Priest, and more. I practice 6 days a week since I began transition so I guess it's been a very productive crutch!!