Would you date a theist?

[Shang]

If they believe in magic man in the sky, who knows what other crazy things they believe in. Ghosts, Psychics, ESP, Astrology...etc.

When I have a debate with them, I don't want their answer to be "god did it". I want them to think for themselves. I don't want them spewing this nonsense that was ingrained into them as a child.

When I want to talk about the latest breakthrough in science like oh...when they created synthetic life, I don't want god to even come into the conversation.

I wouldn't want them indoctrinating my children if we were to have children.

I wouldn't want to see them wasting their time praying. Or praying for me. Or having them think my soul is going to burn in hell for eternity.

I don't know, I could go on, but I have this delicious tuna salad sitting here in front of me that is begging to be devoured.

But theists aren't all like that, though.  I've known plenty that are very science-minded and won't bring "god" or any similar being into the equation when it comes to science, and I've known plenty who don't run around shoving their beliefs down other people's throats and don't run around saying things are "God's will" or what-have-you.

It seems, to me, that you wouldn't date one of the wack-a-doo theists instead of a person who is a theist but on more of a sane level.

[Pica Pica]

I could date a theist and religious person, but not a "I'm not religious, but spiritual" person because those people tend to be vague nutters.

[meh]

But theists aren't all like that, though.  I've known plenty that are very science-minded and won't bring "god" or any similar being into the equation when it comes to science, and I've known plenty who don't run around shoving their beliefs down other people's throats and don't run around saying things are "God's will" or what-have-you.

It seems, to me, that you wouldn't date one of the wack-a-doo theists instead of a person who is a theist but on more of a sane level.

Science and religion are irreconcilable.

I think the only god believing types I could ever date would be Deists and Pantheists. Even that is pushing it >.>

[Miniar]

Because I would not tolerate a person I lived with spewing bible stuff all the time.  I can't tolerate to hear ONE such thing much less a non-stop fountain of it from the person I live with.  No way.

I am a total, complete, militant Atheist and I don't tolerate ANY religious nonsense in my life.
In public I bite my lip when people spew it but if they push it on me I push back and I push back hard and in very harsh ways.

I won't live with someone that makes me want to duct tape their face shut.

And what if they don't spew bible stuff?
What if they have enough respect for you and your world view to leave their religious beliefs outside of the relationship?

If they believe in magic man in the sky, who knows what other crazy things they believe in. Ghosts, Psychics, ESP, Astrology...etc.

When I have a debate with them, I don't want their answer to be "god did it". I want them to think for themselves. I don't want them spewing this nonsense that was ingrained into them as a child.

When I want to talk about the latest breakthrough in science like oh...when they created synthetic life, I don't want god to even come into the conversation.

I wouldn't want them indoctrinating my children if we were to have children.

I wouldn't want to see them wasting their time praying. Or praying for me. Or having them think my soul is going to burn in hell for eternity.

I don't know, I could go on, but I have this delicious tuna salad sitting here in front of me that is begging to be devoured.

Can you debate about non-god related things?
Not all theists are incapable of debate without including god.

What if they won't raise your children religious?

What if you never have to "see" them pray?

_


Is it so hard to respect people you disagree with for other people?

I know, it's maybe not what you guys are saying, but holding love as conditional to "agree with me on this" just seems weird to me.
I respect my husband More for disagreeing with me. Because he does so in a way that I can not say is wrong. Because his logic is not un-sound, and his beliefs could hypothetically be as valid as mine, all things considered.

A person can believe in a god-form of some sort, be a theist, and not be unintelligent.

To simply draw some line in the sand and say "I could never date a person that believes in X" just seems to forgo any possibility that there might be people out there, who believe in X, who are intelligent, rational, hilariously funny, great in bed, respectful of your world view, great looking, and could be right for you, if you were willing to accept that just believing in X in and of itself isn't the tell all of their character.

[kyril]

I wouldn't date someone who sincerely believed in UFOs. If I considered people raised in mainstream religions to be basically equivalent to UFO-believers - I don't, I reserve that equivalence for fundamentalists, creationists, and converts - but if I did, I wouldn't date them either. So I get what the others are saying.

[VeryGnawty]

I could date a theist and religious person, but not a "I'm not religious, but spiritual" person because those people tend to be vague nutters.

"Tend to be vague"

But what if they are not vague?

[Silver]

Psh, a lot of you guys are stereotyping theists.

The only thing identifying a theist from an atheist is the belief in deities/a deity.

They're not all necessarily bible pushers, nor are they all necessarily against thinking for themselves, and they don't always answer every argument with "god did it." Those people are obnoxious, and it's not because they have a religion.

[kyril]

There's a very strong argument to be made that the mere belief in a deity presents an irreconcilable conflict with many nontheists' value systems. Many of us believe that it is morally wrong to assert certainty without evidence (we see skepticism as an important virtue - some members of this group have issues with "strong" atheists too); others believe that theist claims are fundamentally lies; and probably most of us believe that religion and the theist ideas that enable it are objectively harmful.

It's a bit much to insist that people be willing to be romantically involved with people whose beliefs they find morally repugnant. There's a lot of latitude given for theists who want to date inside their religions (often with similar justifications) - nobody tells a Christian they're bigoted when they look for a Christian partner. But as usual atheists tend to be singled out whenever we have any preferences or values.

(That being said, I mentioned above that I have dated theists - in fact, I married one, although he's now an even more militant atheist than I am. The theists I've been involved with are all people who fundamentally shared my values but just hadn't applied them to critically examining their religious beliefs.)

[Silver]

That would be the reason to not date a theist- You find theism itself to be worthy of scorn/repulsive.

I was directing my comment more towards the "I wouldn't date a Christian because said Christian would necessarily try to convert me/bible push/preach."

[spacial]

There's a very strong argument to be made that the mere belief in a deity presents an irreconcilable conflict with many nontheists' value systems. Many of us believe that it is morally wrong to assert certainty without evidence (we see skepticism as an important virtue - some members of this group have issues with "strong" atheists too); others believe that theist claims are fundamentally lies; and probably most of us believe that religion and the theist ideas that enable it are objectively harmful.

Presumably you won't ever tell someone you love them? Even your own kids?

Sorry Kyril, I listen to and read a lot of specious arguments by people taking so many sides. But I know you to be quite intelegent and to come out with something as flawed as this is really very silly.

[FairyGirl]

We already have a name for nature though....nature. Why people need to label it "god" is beyond me.

I'm a pantheist... animist, whatever. I don't believe in any actual deity but I do believe that we all collectively and singularly ARE deity (down to the bunnies and ants and blades of grass and pebbles). I just happen to be the unique part of "god" that looks and thinks like me. God to me could never be a single thing, it seems an oxymoron. There are other things to call this- you can call it nature, or the Universe; some call it simply "All That Is". I think it is not we who think of it as a god, but that the term "god" is the closest thing that the most people can comprehend, even though god by definition should probably be incomprehensible. It's all over my head in any case, I'll stick to bunnies and ants and blades of grass and pebbles for my spiritual guidance.

On point, as long as there was respect for my beliefs then I could equally respect my partner's, even if I didn't agree with them.  I think that elusive "truth" that religions are so concerned with transcends and encompasses ALL belief systems, making me a universalist in that regard. I'm not so closed minded as to not appreciate anyone's prayers for my safety or healing. But I don't need self-appointed spokespersons for any deity dictating morals, rules, and regulations to me, or sitting with an air of superiority because they have "THE answer" and I don't. I'll pass on dating those people, as I'm sure they would pass on me.

[Miniar]

There's a very strong argument to be made that the mere belief in a deity presents an irreconcilable conflict with many nontheists' value systems. Many of us believe that it is morally wrong to assert certainty without evidence (we see skepticism as an important virtue - some members of this group have issues with "strong" atheists too); others believe that theist claims are fundamentally lies; and probably most of us believe that religion and the theist ideas that enable it are objectively harmful.

I believe X =/= X is factually true/real

Personally, the "beliefs" I hold are beliefs I choose to hold because I have personal experiences that verify these beliefs. I can't factually prove them true, but I can't factually prove them false either.
I hold these beliefs "as" beliefs, not factual truths.

I hold very few things as "factual truths", even when I state something like "X is true" it comes with the "Until proven otherwise" caveat within my mind.

Yet, I'm not an atheist.
_

Also, I think the "You must ascribe to my world view" attitude to romance to be sign of prejudice, no matter who's saying it or what the world view in question is.

[kyril]

Presumably you won't ever tell someone you love them? Even your own kids?

Sorry Kyril, I listen to and read a lot of specious arguments by people taking so many sides. But I know you to be quite intelegent and to come out with something as flawed as this is really very silly.

I didn't say that I agreed with all three of the claims I listed - they're just positions that are held by some atheists. The second, in particular, I disagree with, and I'm dubious about the third as a universal truth.

But I think your question is referring to the first, so on that I'd say that I can and do tell people I love them. I don't expect them to accept that without evidence - but the evidence is there. When I love someone, I behave in loving ways toward them.

[spacial]

I didn't say that I agreed with all three of the claims I listed - they're just positions that are held by some atheists. The second, in particular, I disagree with, and I'm dubious about the third as a universal truth.

But I think your question is referring to the first, so on that I'd say that I can and do tell people I love them. I don't expect them to accept that without evidence - but the evidence is there. When I love someone, I behave in loving ways toward them.

Easily faked.

[kyril]

Evidence != absolute proof. That being said...I don't have any particular problem with the idea that someone might be uncertain about my love - I can't even be certain about it myself. Hell, I don't even have a good working definition that would let me know what to look for. I just think I love my family. I also think I'm a man. So there's that.

[Bombi]

Yes
I'm married to an Irish Catholic girl. She was aware that I'm an atheist. She still practices her religion, although not with the same passion as when we met. I let her have and enjoy the Christian holidays with her family. She tried to indoctrinate my sons bu as they got older they figured it out. She respects my position and I hers. Sometimes she jokes that we have all the bases covered.

[Pica Pica]

"Tend to be vague"

But what if they are not vague?

Then I might be able to have a conversation with them.

[spacial]

Evidence != absolute proof. That being said...I don't have any particular problem with the idea that someone might be uncertain about my love - I can't even be certain about it myself. Hell, I don't even have a good working definition that would let me know what to look for. I just think I love my family. I also think I'm a man. So there's that.

I too am absolutely certain you do.

I just found some of the arguments on this thread so .....

[glendagladwitch]

Presumably you won't ever tell someone you love them? Even your own kids?

Sorry Kyril, I listen to and read a lot of specious arguments by people taking so many sides. But I know you to be quite intelegent and to come out with something as flawed as this is really very silly.

What's so silly about it?  Religious parents disinherit and shun their atheist children all the time.  Shoe's on the other foot now, is all.

[Ghost03]

Science and religion are irreconcilable.

I think the only god believing types I could ever date would be Deists and Pantheists. Even that is pushing it >.>

There are many religious scientists, it's actually surprising how compatible the two can be, I also recently read an article about this issue.

I am an Atheist and I wouldn't date someone who pushed their beliefs onto me and tried to convert me, but if they were prepared to have the occasional civilised conversation about it then I don't see a problem, in fact I'd enjoy that as I've always been extremely interested in religion even though I'm an Atheist and was brought up that way.