Would you date a theist?

[Calder Smith]

I would date a theist. I actually have dated one before. As long as they're not a devout Christian or Muslim or whatever who prays and shoves God in my face all the time, I don't mind it.

[Jenna Stannis]

I have a twisted fetish about dating a fundamental Christian, but I have cravings for all sorts of weird, mind-f***ing experiences.

[Daydreamer]

I have and I have no problem dating someone who is, as long as we can be respectful of each other.

[MadeleineG]

Tried it several times. It's the closest I've come to genuine incommensurability.

[SilverGirl]

of course i would, though it would be inevitable that we would eventually be on each other's throats sometimes

[TeaCoffee]

I'd be willing to date a theist, but I don't think it would last. I'm friends with lots of theists, and am respectful in public, but in private (or with like minded folks) I tend to let it hang loose to the point where I doubt a theist would want to date ME 

[dalebert]

I'd be willing to date a theist, but I don't think it would last. I'm friends with lots of theists, and am respectful in public, but in private (or with like minded folks) I tend to let it hang loose to the point where I doubt a theist would want to date ME 

This. Although it really depends on what their version of God is. The more traditional I Dream of Jeanie-like it is, the more difficult it would be. I'm actually somewhat agnostic, but with respect to certain notions of a god, I'm atheist. I'm atheist with respect to Zeus, Thor, Jehovah, Allah, Pan, etc. But if someone were more along the lines of a deist, I don't think I'd have any issue with that to speak of. If someone believes in a literal Noah's arc, for instance, I don't know how I'd be able to look them in the face on a daily basis and take them seriously. I definitely wouldn't be able to express myself honestly at that point without conflict arising regularly.

[f_Anna_tastic]

I couldn't date a theist.  I have no respect for people who refuse to educate themselves.

In this day and age of scientific wonder it makes me sad that people cling to books written by tribes of goat herders with absolutely no concept of the wonders of the universe.

[Emmaline]

I couldn't date anyone so dumb.  Pass on the god botherers.

[JamesG]

Irony...

[Ltl89]

I'm an agnostic atheist who is open minded to spirituality though lean towards being skepitcal of it all despite my fascination with mysticism.  In any event, yes I would date a theist.  Someone can be an intelligent and amazing person no matter what diety they subscribe to.  There are all kinds of people out there.  What's important is their social views and whether that would impact our relationship.  If they were anti-gay, that would obviously create issues. If they were against scientific education, my future children wouldn't get the education they deserve.  Things like that have an important impact on how stable our reationship will be.  We would have to have some common ground to ensure it would work. However, their religion and faith itself doesn't need to cause issues.  It's about who they are and not what they are.  I will say though, I would have a very hard time if they were devoutly catholic and wanted to raise my potential future children in that system.  It brings up to many bad memories and fears.  While I don't know all the details and this isn't related to my direct family, I had a family member that was an alter boy who was abused by a priest.  The church simply moved him to a different church and my non-immediate family continued going to the church that caused so much grief because they are very religious.  In turn, my family member struggled for the rest of his life to get over this crap.  I can't ever forgive that institution for that nor can I understand the blind devoution my family showed in return.  Again, I don't know all the details, but it absolutely disgusts me.  And I had my own set of issues and difficulties with the church as a kid myself. I don't want my future children to ever be a part of that system, so that's my blind spot I would have a hard time negotiating with. 

One thing I will say though is that true love should have no barriers.  Opposites can and should attract if they are meant to be.  I have a hardcore atheist friend who fell in love and married a deeply devout catholic girl.  They are madly in love and very happy with one another.  And isn't that what matters most?  I'd rather remain open minded in hopes that I'll one day for the right guy for me, whatever religion he may be. 

[Jill F]

I think there are as many nuanced religious views as there are people in this world.  I'm just not into brainwashed fundies.

[Jess42]

Wow, this is really an interesting thread. I am definately not athiest but a lot of people that are religious seem to think I am. I am a Spritual in that I do believe in creation but things are created to evolve and am a firm believer in evolution. I do believe in God but don't believe God has a hand in everyone's life as a matter of fact I believe that God has nothing to do with us at all. We are on our own.

Just a question without meaness please, in your eyes as being athiest, what does that make me? Other than a little crazy. I'll own up to that proudly.

I am on the other side of the spectrum and have dated athiest and theological views is not why we didn't last. As a matter of fact theoligcal discussions were extremely interesting. But I respect all views, not just my own.

But I will date anyone regardless of thier beliefs as long as our personalities are compatable. And yeah I have dated some religious people that tried to force their views down my throat, so I can see where alot of athiests really don't want to date a thiest.

[Ltl89]

I think there are as many nuanced religious views as there are people in this world.  I'm just not into brainwashed fundies.

I agree with this and it goes both ways.  I think think at times the atheist community can be overly smug and convinced of their righteousness similarly to religious fundamentalism.  Severe dogmatism of any kind and inability to see a different point of a view isn't a great treat.  It reminds me of one of my favorite song "them and us" by Bad Religion.  People are so often looking to create enemies where none really needs to be.  And we all do it and need to be on the look out for that mentality. 

[Jill F]

I agree with this and it goes both ways.  I think think at times the atheist community can be overly smug and convinced of their righteousness similarly to religious fundamentalism.  Severe dogmatism of any kind and inability to see a different point of a view isn't a great treat.  It reminds me of one of my favorite song "them and us" by Bad Religion.  People are so often looking to create enemies where none really needs to be.  And we all do it and need to be on the look out for that mentality.

I also believe it takes just as much faith to declare that there is no god as it does to declare that there is.

[suzifrommd]

I also believe it takes just as much faith to declare that there is no god as it does to declare that there is.

I like this.

I couldn't date a theist.  I have no respect for people who refuse to educate themselves.

Not sure I like this. Is it possible to be educated and still be a theist?

I mean, I've come to the logical conclusion that it's not likely there's a God, but couldn't someone see all the strangeness of the universe and conclude that it's more likely this didn't come about as a random event?

I mean, take life for example. The process by which life is replicated requires a genetic code (DNA, e.g.), a way of transferring that code without destroying it (for us, a handful of enzymes so complex their structure defies human envisioning), and a way of using it to produce a copy of itself (for us, a ribosome, a biological structure so unbelievably intricate and compact that it rivals anything technology has created).

With any two of those mechanisms, life snuffs out as fast as it's created. The only way it replicates is if all three appear at pretty much the same time.

Could someone educated not conclude that this is something too unlikely to happen by chance?

[JamesG]

I also believe it takes just as much faith to declare that there is no god as it does to declare that there is.

Careful!  You'll make the Atheists irrationally angry.

[dalebert]

In this day and age of scientific wonder it makes me sad that people cling to books written by tribes of goat herders with absolutely no concept of the wonders of the universe.

That's a specific kind of theist, albeit a fairly common one. "Theist" encompasses a lot of views that don't have anything to do with fairy tales, things like pantheism--the idea that the universe itself and everything in it is "God" but without the magical whammy goofy stuph like from those ancient books you speak of. A lot of the founding fathers self-described as "deist", i.e. God created the universe and then left it be after that and doesn't interfere anymore. It was about as blasphemous as you could get at the time. The term "atheist" was probably almost unheard of. That's why I felt a need to specify the kind of theist that I don't think I could date versus the kind I feel like I could get along with fine. I'm fairly agnostic with mild speculations about pantheism but I'm fine with a label of "atheist", though I'd definitely be described as a weak atheist (in general) and only strong atheist with respect to specific gods of common myths as I described above.

Just a question without meaness please, in your eyes as being athiest, what does that make me? Other than a little crazy. I'll own up to that proudly.

A deist. See above.

[AnnieMay]

Religion and spirituality are hot buttons for most of us. Especially distasteful to me are those who chastise others along religion lines in a way that is both arrogant and unloving. Are you also saying you can't date anyone who is so close minded as to believe that there may be a being who created the universe? Or date someone who tries to become one with the spirit of that universe?  One definition of spirituality is the search for the sacred.  If I believe in the sacredness of children or of the environment, is it OK. Where do you draw the line?

[dalebert]

I also believe it takes just as much faith to declare that there is no god as it does to declare that there is.

If you keep the idea of "god" fairly ambiguous, yes. As far as specific myths go, I think it's perfectly reasonable to put the burden of proof on someone claiming the existence of something. Proving something doesn't exist is impossible but I don't call it faith when people actively disbelieve in leprechauns, mermaids, dragons, and Thor. I'm a strong atheist with respect to Thor and it's ridiculous to call that belief faith-based. The evidence (or lack thereof, depending) overwhelmingly points to him as a fiction created by the imaginations of the culture of his time, as with the other mythical creatures mentioned. It's the reasonable conclusion.