Quote from: zombiesarepeaceful on July 19, 2010, 05:07:29 PM
Not to be a downer but I personally wouldn't risk it. Relationships in HS rarely work out and even if they did...personally...it wouldn't be worth it for the whole school possibly to know I'm trans. Don't do something you may regret later. Something small which turns into something huge.
I totally agree with this... do not tell her. at least wait to see what kind of girl she is and see how she talks about her friends, if she's trustworthy, if she's really someone you want to have a relationship with... because if you tell her a secret you want kept from everyone else, she will have a lot of power over you. certainly, you might say, she wouldn't blab.... but you never know. my boyfriend's totally trustworthy best friend of 15 years blabbed to her friends just because she thought it was fascinating and couldn't keep in something she wanted to talk about.
Quote from: ForWantOf on July 20, 2010, 06:22:35 PM
I'm really glad you said this because I've been dating a girl for a sum of months now, and my friend that knows I'm trans has been pressuring me from the moment me and my girlfriend got together to tell her the "truth". But I've constantly decided against it for different reasons, one being that I don't want to scare her away and I want her to see what a nice guy I am, instead of just finding out that I'm somewhat of an oddity.
I noticed a lot of trans people usually give people a heads up of what they are right from the get-go, but I've never found it to be too bad to tell people later on in a relationship (friendly or otherwise) that you've transitioned.
now, while i think harlee should not tell his crush before dating her because of his age and school situation,
i think if you are friends with someone for a while (so they have time to get to know you and like you as you are) you should tell them about your birth defect before you start a serious relationship. after finding out later, some people might be angry that they weren't told sooner as if they were untrustworthy or would break up over something like that... and on the other side, some people who might be uncomfortable with the thought of being partners with a transsexual (for whatever personal reason, not saying that it's right) might get upset at you because they might feel 'tricked'
when my boyfriend and i started having the 'i like you.. i want to be a couple' talk, he came out to me as trans right there and said he said it was his responsibility to inform me so i could make my own decision and he'd understand if i didn't want to be in a relationship with him. even though that was the first time i had even heard of transmen i answered instantly that i didn't care and i always knew him as a guy so he would always be a guy to me. it might be scary to come out to someone if you want them to go out with you, but it's the responsible thing to do. for example, a woman who can't have kids telling her boyfriend before they get married.
