Question for Julie Marie or somebody with the same problem

[Tinagurl]

Hi, I´m new here, 24 years old Tgirl, 1 year and 3 months on HRT, post-op.

I read one old topic posted by Julie Marie on this forum called "Transdermals better than injections", here is citation:

Julie Marie wrote:
Transdermals Better Than Injections?
« on: October 15, 2006, 11:49:24 am »
I've been on injections for almost three months now.  My estradiol level went from 24, on transdermals, to a high of 903 on injections.  But that was the day after I injected and yes, my doctor made adjustments.  So the blood tests showed injections work better than transdermals.

Now my personal observations since switching to injections.

Physically: My breast tenderness is gone.  There even seems to be some loss of breast size although it's hard to say for sure.  I haven't noticed any other changes.  Zero, zilch, nada!

Emotionally: While I was on transdermals I enjoyed an emotional high I had never felt in my life.  Within a week of beginning injections that was gone, completely.  And it hasn't returned.  In fact I am often down for no apparent reason.  I can go from feeling okay to being totally down in the dumps in a matter of minutes.  It happens most often when I leave work and no longer have that to preoccupy my mind.  Once I'm alone I am succeptable to depression.  I've never had problems with depression.  I'm usually a pretty positive person.

And lately I've had thoughts of not furthering my transition, just staying where I am.  The problem is I don't FEEL like a woman anymore.  This is something totally new to me since coming out of denial.  I know I don't want to return to my old life.  That's totally depressing!  But this feeling of just staying where I am has me baffled.  I was committed to totally transitioning and the thought of completing it made my heart soar.  Now it's like, "Who cares?", a sign of depression.  And all this has happened since I started injections.

I heard so many girls, and even my doctor, say injections put your transition in hyperdrive.  For me it's been more like I've blown an engine.  On transdermals both the physical and emotional changes were positive.  I went from two BBs on a breadboard to a small B cup on transdermals even though my estradiol level went from 54 to 24.  And emotionally I was happier than I had ever been in my life.  The only thing I didn't like was dealing with the adhesive from the patch.

Some girls have said they can feel the rush from an injection.  I feel nothing.  You'd think after almost three months I'd notice something positive but all I noticed was what I stated above.

Has anyone NOT noticed any positive effects from injections?

I have ABSOLUTELY same symptoms as described in that post. Before operation, I was on estradiol tablets (low doses), but afer op., my endocrinologist switched me on estradiolvalerate injections. And then problems started: breast tenderness is gone, after more than year of HRT, I have almost no breasts, I am emotionally cold, without feminine feelings, I also have thoughts of not furthering my transition, because I dont feel any progress in it...etc. - everything what Julie Marie wrote.

So, my questions (especially to Julie Marie) are: what did you do with it and how did you do it?
Also, the problem is, that my endocrinologist have not much experiences with MtF´s, because she generally treat FtM´s, so she don´t know, how to medicate that "rare cases" like me. So, please don´t post me, that I should ask this to my endocrinologist. I asked her and she DONT KNOW it!
I appreciate the fact, that everyone is individual, but considering that I have absolutely same reaction to estrogen, your reply could be very helpful for me.

Thank you in advance.
PS: Sorry of my english, I´am not primarily english speaking.

[aubrey]

I've noticed the tablets had an antidepressant effect while the injections give more of an emotional roller coaster. Usually on days 2,3 and perhaps 6 of the injection I will get a similar feeling to the pills. Other days tend to be a little more crazy, or subdued/low energy. I've heard of people doing a combination of pills or patch with reduced strength injection for those reasons. I started feeling less giddy around the time of starting injections also, but had attributed it to the newness wearing off and things settling down and becoming more routine, but maybe that wasn't it, idk?

[laurita22]

hello, what can happen that change the metabolism also changes extrogenos, so that by discontinuing with a type of extrogeno and starting another your feelings change that interrupt the treatment that followed, it can also happen that the doses of injections ay never correctasm not to combine two types of estrogen that the liver has to metabolize different types of estrogen, only to and have to choose only one type of estrogen

regards
LAURA

[Tinagurl]

Thank you for replies.
By the way, I researched something about this and I think this negative reaction is possibly caused by rising of DHT, because of its strong anti-estrogenic properties. I read, that male body have tendency to counteract estrogens by DHT, so higher dose of estrogen = higher level of DHT (metabolized from T from adrenals).
So, I will check my DHT level on the next visit of endo...and then I will refer about it.

[Julie Marie]

I just saw this...

Since I switched to injections, my blood test results have been pretty much exactly where my doctor wants them. The physical changes from transdermals remained but the injections did not produce any further results.  Adding progesterone had no effect either. My doctor was not very positive about the transdermals so I just took his word and remained on injections. 

About six months ago I switched to orals because I was becoming less regimented with the weekly injections (I had grown to dread them, mainly because I feared hitting a vein) and went as long as three weeks between injections.  Not good.  My doctor says he has never had a patient with liver function problems from orals and he feels there is no difference between the two so I switched. 

I just received the blood test results and everything looked great, according to him, though my E levels had dropped to around 250.  As far as how I feel, it's very difficult to tell if any changes are related to the HRT.  As to physical changes, I can tell no difference between injections and orals but my body does seem to be changing more toward the feminine.  I attribute that to the time I've been on HRT (about three years) and age, which seems to make men take on female traits and vice-versa. 

HRT has become, for me, something I know I need to do, not something I want to do because I see results.  When I missed injections I did notice a lethargy set in.  Other than that I didn't notice any other physical changes from failing to be regular with HRT introduction.  I just know the body reacts better when hormones are at certain levels and there seems to be a fountain of youth effect if they are at the levels of a 15-25 year old.

[Tinagurl]

I´m very grateful for your respose, but I misunderstood you:

Other than that I didn't notice any other physical changes from failing to be regular with HRT introduction.

HRT has become, for me, something I know I need to do, not something I want to do because I see results.

Because I see on your avatar, that your transtition has done successfully, you looks like great, like normal woman, so, what is the key? I don´t tell the same about me. After 1 year an 3 months of HRT, I still looks likes as an "eunuch", not masculine, but almost not feminine. I never looked likes as a man, because I had secondary hypogonadism before HRT (testosterone level within the female range). After starting my HRT, there was a lot of changes during a few weeks, my face started to be great feminine and also I felt emotionally like 17years old puberty girl. But later, I built a great tolerance on Androcur (and also had liver problems, dark urine etc.), so my endocrinologist sent me to undergo orchiectomy after 4 months. Then she switched me from tablets to injections, but the result was non-voluntary detransitioning, I started to feel horrible (not feminine), breast tenderness is gone, also my face defeminized (not totally, but enough) and never more returned back. Also, I started to feel unspecified, but hefty wet coldness or burdensome pressure in my urethra always after injection. My endocrinologist doesn´t know what to do...and I´am really afraid, that I will never further my transition...

[Julie Marie]

I began my transition late in life (50ish).  By that time the bone structure is set and no amount of hormones will feminize it.  While I passed quite well as a man, my body type allowed me to pass fairly well as a woman.  Genetics.  After that is was a lot of trial and error with my presentation.  Still, there's a lot of things about my physical self I'd love to be able to change but that just isn't going to happen.  So I accept that and do the best I can.

Personally, I don't think HRT had a significant enough effect on my physical self to make me passable.  (I still get read once in a while but that's their problem.)  IMHO, I think BA is the biggest factor in making me passable.  When I'm sporting cleavage, I rarely get read.  It's called distraction!    Eliminate the surgeries and I'd pass as a guy easily, regardless of how long I've been on HRT.

HRT is very effective when you're young but that effectiveness decreases with age.