Hi Tiffany Leung
It was nice to hear from you with a little more detail, without giving anything away. Well, you have your answer go full time at University and tell no one. You can at the same time concentrate on the remaining problems. You will have time, between, studying, lectures and maybe a little socializing! You can have it all, why not? I'm saying this because in your reply you say you have always dreamed of being a girl and the desire has never faded.
I too was in a similar situation, I had always wished or wanted to be a girl, it was not until I was 30 that I finally realized I was a female and I had always had been. From what you have said, I would say you are a female and you have always been a female, the reason why I say this is because you said, "as sometimes I only want to sacrifice all other things for the surgery". You are also right that you should take things steadily to make sure that is what you want. One of the reasons and there are many others was, my uncle who knew once said, you need to go and live as a female. Which I did, so I left my family and friends nearly 22 years ago and inside of 3 months I was working and living as a female and I have never ever regretted that decision.
There are so many similarities between me and you its not funny. I care for my family and friends very much. However, if you are not happy or not healthy then you will not be able to care for your friends and family. You must take care of yourself and do what is right for you and you alone, not what your friends and family want you to be. In that sense you would be living their dreams and not yours.
Yes, you could lose all your friends and family, that is one of the consequences of what happens if we change. Yes, I left my friends and family and eventually they found out what I did and long story short, I have been extremely lucky that my family accepts me and a few friends from my past that accept me totally for who I am.
You are lucky that you already have a unisex name, like me I also have a unisex name. You do not mention about any middle names, so you might want to consider that.
As for your height, you are not alone around here with that problem, which is not really a problem. There are plenty of members around Susan's who can help you out in that area. The problem is being confident when you go out, so be yourself and hold your head high, yes you will be anxious, afraid, shy and worried what is going to happen when you go to a new environment and meet new friends. But this is normal because, just recently I moved to a different location and I had to adjust to my new location and get along with my new colleagues.
As I said, I was working and living full time inside of 3 months and I did not have time to worry about what people thought. I was so busy working and partying that I did not have time to think about what they thought of me and all they saw was someone who was very happy with herself. They never knew about me because I never told them about my past and two years after changing I had my surgery.
So I will say what my uncle once said to me. Go and live your life as female and see if that is what you truly want.
May all your dreams come true, my thoughts and best wishes are with you no matter what your decision is. You go girl!!
Kindest regards
Sarah B
