All girl?

[Kisa]

Here is my girl side
I love girlish manga like paradise kiss, fruit baskets and Love Hina
I love having long hair
I love cute, glitterly and pink things
I listen to mostly female singers and worship music
I hate horror or anything gross

my male side
I hate makeup, washing my hair and looking pretty.
I hate purses and jewelry.
I got kinda of a boyish face.
I can't stand having a high voice

Am I all girl?

[Ricki]

Sounds a little like me too...
hugs
Ricki

[Casey]

You've said in two posts that you don't feel all girl. Do you doubt what you've said before or are you looking for confirmation that you aren't all girl? It's really all about how you feel Kisa. I think your gut knows the answer. What does your gut tell you?

[Kisa]

Well, I dunno, I feel bad in my skin because I don't fit societies idea of a pretty girl. I guess I'm very lost and don't know what i am. sorry if i make no sense.

[Casey]

OK, forget what society says a pretty girl looks like. It's not about the outside, it's about the inside. At 6 foot, 240 pounds I expect some people will snicker or worse when I tell them I'm an androgyne. I don't look androgynous. But I know how I feel inside.

You may not know what you are but I bet you have a pretty good idea of how you feel. Don't try to force yourself into any particular mold. Just be Kisa and see where that takes you.

I understand what you mean about feeling lost. When I first started trying to figure myself out back in March I thought I was a crossdresser. I quickly discovered (and I'm talking within the first week) that I wasn't like other crossdressers. Oh great, now what?

I decided to say I was a human and let it go for a while. The more I posted my own thoughts and feelings in different threads, the more I looked at myself from a number of different angles, the better the picture of myself I got. I found that when I took the pressure off myself I was more willing to let my discoveries happen.

Respond honestly to threads. Start any threads you need to start. Don't worry about sounding like anybody but you. Don't try to be anybody but you. And don't worry about what society says "should be". Heck, according to society's binary gender model I don't even exist. That just goes to show you what society knows.

[Dweia]

You may not know what you are but I bet you have a pretty good idea of how you feel. Don't try to force yourself into any particular mold. Just be Kisa and see where that takes you.

Yes.. That's the way I think also.

I'm also starting to find my feminine side and it will be difficult to understand who am I ?
Well first thing what I did was that I accepted me as I am now.. And I don't want to categorize me to certain group.

It will take time to you to find out who you are, but at least you are not alone. We all are here and we share same kind of thoughts and feelings.

[angelsgirl]

Oh, Kisa! I'm sorry you're feeling confused!    I guess I don't really know what to tell you that nobody else hasn't already said.

Well....
Let's see how I measure up on your list, 'kay?

Here is my girl side
I love girlish manga like paradise kiss, fruit baskets and Love Hina
I love having long hair
I love cute, glitterly and pink things
I listen to mostly female singers and worship music
I hate horror or anything gross

my male side
I hate makeup, washing my hair and looking pretty.
I hate purses and jewelry.
I got kinda of a boyish face.
I can't stand having a high voice

Am I all girl?

1. I despise Love Hina and Fruits Basket (my apologies for differing taste) I haven't seen Paradise Kiss.

I love Hellsing,Gankutsuou, Rouroni Kenshin, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Fushigi Yugi, Paranoia Agent, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Trigun.

2. I prefer my hair to be short because it's cute.  I prefer everybody else with long hair.

3. I despise pink (I know, blasphemy!) Well, I guess it's alright in small doses. My favorite color is purple.

4. I love music, especially rock and I love to sing, but unfortunately male singers put out the best songs and I just don't have the sound for that.  I get stuck singing Christina Aguilera, Kelly Clarkson, Evanescence, and Celine Dion.

5. I could live without horror movies, but I really enjoy psychological thrillers even if they are gross.

6. I don't always wear makeup, but I do like looking good. I prefer baths to showers because they're more relaxing.

7.  I don't mind purses and jewelry, but I'm not psycho about it like my Mom who has ten purses with matching shoes at any one given time. My favorite piece of jewlery is of course my engagement ring.

8.  I have a neutral face. People always think they know me from somewhere or am related to somebody. I have a generic barcode of a face and it could probably go either way.

9. I enjoy my alto ranged voice because I think it's sexy than soprano even though I'm capable of hitting high notes. Conversely, I like to speak in "Chibi" voice when I'm being playful.

10. Most people believe I'm capable of whooping their butt, despite my petite frame because I can be aggressive. (Bonus)

So, do any of these things make me more guy than girl? I don't think so.  I don't think that you're judging your femininity or masculinity by fair and reasonable standards. You're using stereotypes to define yourself and you going to find that you don't exactly fit, but that's because nobody really exactly fits all of a stereotype all of the time.

Go a little easier on yourself, pumpkin! It'll come to you in time! 

[Kisa]

its cool everyone has different taste, I despise the anime fruit baskets, I love the manga, I been reading it online, I'm on book 21. I think Love hina is cute exept for some of the sexual stuff. Paradise Kiss is basically a girly anime about modeling and fashion.

Christina Aguilera, Kelly Clarkson, Evanescence are my favorites, I been wanting the new evanescence album bad. I love all the songs I heard from it.


I will try to go easier on myself, I been judge myself too harsh.

[Laurry]

Hi Kisa!

Being confused about who you are is perfectly normal.  The more we try to pin it down and stick a label on it, the more we realize that the label isn't completely correct.  This applies to everything from gender identity to favorite food.  (Go ahead and try it...name one thing that is your very favorite food, then break it down and figure out what makes it your favorite --taste, texture, memories -- and then why you love this but not another that has almost the exact same qualities...ask yourself "why?" five times in a row...you get to chasing your tail.)

Don't be in such a hurry to pin a label on yourself.  We all want a label so that we "fit in" but be wary of what you seek.  Accepting a label means that we often accept the limitations of that label.  If you don't accept the limitations, then you really aren't that label. 

The only way to be safe is to choose a label that is so broad in scope as to be nearly meaningless in defining yourself.  (I'm a human who was born male and likes to paint their nails...tells you everything you need to know, huh?)

Best advice I've seen...be yourself.  Be whoever you are at that moment, be the best you can be, and don't worry about how to explain yourself to others.

........Laurie

[tinkerbell]

My original post:

I AM ME

I am a woman who holds my own dreams and destiny
I am a woman who grew from a boy into my own
I am a woman who has two legs that hold a solid foundation to my soul
I am a woman who has a mind that is clear-cut and stays on point
I am a woman who has no problem staying alone
I am a woman who can thrive through hard times
I am a woman who has dropped so many tears on my flesh and in my spirit
I am a woman whose hands can work just as hard as any men's
I am a woman who has no problems running my emotions deep
I am a woman who loves too quick, too hard, and too long
I am a woman who is always right although in your eyes forever wrong
I am a woman who never runs from what they say, I confront it loudly
I am a woman who always screams when they try to make me silent
I am a woman who is strong and the main muscle in my mind is justice
I am a woman whom they don't know, whom they have always failed to see
I am me
Total. Free.

...but if you replace girl for woman, you get something like this:

I AM ME

I am a girl who holds my own dreams and destiny
I am a girl who grew from a boy into my own
I am a girl who has two legs that hold a solid foundation to my soul
I am a girl who has a mind that is clear-cut and stays on point
I am a girl who has no problem staying alone
I am a girl who can thrive through hard times
I am a girl who has dropped so many tears on my flesh and in my spirit
I am a girl whose hands can work just as hard as any men's
I am a girl who has no problems running my emotions deep
I am a girl who loves too quick, too hard, and too long
I am a girl who is always right although in your eyes forever wrong
I am a girl who never runs from what they say, I confront it loudly
I am a girl who always screams when they try to make me silent
I am a girl who is strong and the main muscle in my mind is justice
I am a girl whom they don't know, whom they have always failed to see
I am me
Total. Free.


tinkerbell

[Kendall]

Here is my girl side
I love girlish manga like paradise kiss, fruit baskets and Love Hina
I love having long hair
I love cute, glitterly and pink things
I listen to mostly female singers and worship music
I hate horror or anything gross

my male side
I hate makeup, washing my hair and looking pretty.
I hate purses and jewelry.
I got kinda of a boyish face.
I can't stand having a high voice

Am I all girl?

1. I love anime. I do work in a book store , have access to 8 shelves of manga 30% off (employee discount) but for some reason I prefer animation to reading comics. I love mostly male anime, though I am just starting to rent some of both. Ghost in Shell, Steamboy, I my me, Dears, Mahoromatic, Chobits, Robotech, Battlecruiser Yamato (Star Blazers).

2. I have thinned male hair, though I occassionally use wigs of various lengths. I love women with short hair. I even like androgynes with various length hair.

3. I love Pinks and yellows.

4. I listen to Evanescence, Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera, AFI, Sound Garden, and Pearl Jam

5. I wear makeup sometimes.

6. I have a male voice and female communication styles drives me nuts.

7. I love female pants and blouses, though male shorts, shoes, and coats rock.

8. I like earring studs, and an occassional neckless (that I made with beads).

9. I love to sew, and try other crafts such as jewelry making.

10. I love long soaks in the bathtub filled with bubbles and flowered scents.

11. I love elaborate horror movies (not just hack and slash): Hellraiser series, Halloween series, Saw, Final Destination  I love japanese horror flicks: Audition, Izo, Imprint, Sisters.

[Transguykid]

Here is my girl side
I love girlish manga like paradise kiss, fruit baskets and Love Hina
I love having long hair
I love cute, glitterly and pink things
I listen to mostly female singers and worship music
I hate horror or anything gross

my male side
I hate makeup, washing my hair and looking pretty.
I hate purses and jewelry.
I got kinda of a boyish face.
I can't stand having a high voice

Am I all girl?

-I love girly manga too! I've read Love Hina, Mars, Peach Girl...but I like "guy's" manga too. I don't like mechas tho, except for Gundam Wing because the boys are hot and Neon Genesis Evangelion becaue Shinji is a crazy emo kid.
-I don't like having long hair because it takes too long to fix and stuff, but was nice sometimes whe I had it. You can't do much with short hair!
-I like cute things and pink things, but I hate glitter, ew. I also prefer purple and blue.
-I like music, but I don't care who sings it as long as it's good. I don't like women to sing metal and punk, though...they just don't do it right...(am I sexist?  )
-I hate horror and anything gross!

-I like looking good and playing with my looks, but I rarely bother with makeup. I like washing my hair because it's so short I don't have to deal with it! Just put on a hat on bad days 
-purses are really convenient, but men's pants have pockets that are actually useful! I love that little chnage pocket within the pocket. It's like magic!
-I definitely have a young girlish face   
-I wish my voice were deeper

I also wear women's clothing sometimes, but only with close friends. I would be way too paranoid about having to defend my transidentity to people. I try so hard for people to see me as male, so I don't want to ruin it.
I like nailpolish
I still have some stuffed animals in my room.
I hate televised sports
I love karate and videogames and Dungeons and Dragons
I used a face mask sometimes because it makes me feel glamorous

What am I?

[Sangre y Leche]

Here is my girl side
I love girlish manga like paradise kiss, fruit baskets and Love Hina
I love having long hair
I love cute, glitterly and pink things
I listen to mostly female singers and worship music
I hate horror or anything gross

my male side
I hate makeup, washing my hair and looking pretty.
I hate purses and jewelry.
I got kinda of a boyish face.
I can't stand having a high voice

Am I all girl?

Hmmmm...

- I don't like girlish manga, I like the more violent manga.. I dislike the big teary eyes from all manga!  I hate sentimental things.
- I have long hair
- I am not into pink and glittery things at all.. although I once was at a pink party and looked very feminine and pink for the occasion, and that I liked, but it was still 'dressing up' for me
- I listen to mostly male singers, or masculine female singers. Again, I hate sentimental things. A band like Slayer can make me smile and things like the Cranberries, Celine Dion or Oasis make me run away fast. My favorite singer is Mike Patton and I just love his sarcastical things! Overall I listen from things like Pink Floyd to punk and sometimes heavy metal. But mostly male singers and rockmusic.
- I love horror movies, laugh about the gross and gore, and allthough I hate real violence I love writing violent stories filled with blood and sex myself

- I am not into wearing make-up, except for eyeliner and mascara.. always black, and I would wear it exactly the same if my biological gender was male
- I am not into jewelry except from the tooth of a shark I am wearing through my ear and a dragon made of the horn of a waterbuffalo through my other ear (kinda thick thing).. ah yeah, and I am pierced 3 times through my genitals... love them! Otherwise, jewelry, is absolutely not atractive to me.
- I have a androgyne face, masculine with short hair and more feminine with long hair
- My voice is pretty low and I love that! I can easely pass for a guy when I am on the phone.

On the other hand: I melt completely when I see young animals (not human babies btw), I am highly sensitive, very intuitive, there is one soap on tv I secretly love (and it is all about romance and very female oriented), and I like sometimes to be very sexy and play with my feminine side. Sometimes men (more then women) can make me blush like a young girl. (With most women my masculine side is triggered more. Once in a while a man can trigger the girly side in me. Which makes me feel uncomfortable and all weird hahaha...)

What does that make me? I don't care what people think about that. The most important is how I feel INSIDE of me. Last week I was surprised about how feminine I felt throughout the week. Very sensitive, I even cried on my work. This is quite exeptional, overall I feel (and therefore behave) far more male. It is something I can't describe in things that I like and don't like. It is really what I feel inside.
What I feel inside is being both. And neither, if it comes to the full genderfeeling.
There are many women who like the things I like, and dislike the things I dislike. But still they feel like a woman. Not me. The difference is for me almost impossible to explain. It is the feeling inside, not the interests I have or the way I look.

I agree with others here that labeling yourself on basis of what you like and dislike may be a limitation. Sometimes labeling can give a certain feeling of freedom and understanding. What does it do to you? How do you FEEL about the label? If it feels bad, then stay away from it.

[Nero]

Here is my girl side
I love girlish manga like paradise kiss, fruit baskets and Love Hina
I love having long hair
I love cute, glitterly and pink things
I listen to mostly female singers and worship music
I hate horror or anything gross

my male side
I hate makeup, washing my hair and looking pretty.
I hate purses and jewelry.
I got kinda of a boyish face.
I can't stand having a high voice

Am I all girl?

1. I like manga, but spend more time trying to draw the characters than I do actually reading it.

2. I like my hair short and sweet.

3. I love cute things (especially animals) and pastels.

4. I listen to male singers and worship rap music.

5. If it's gross, it'd better be the genuine article (only exception being in the context of war movies).
   I hate gory slasher films, but will spend hours with true crime shows/novels and poring over crime scene photos.

6. Can't say I hate makeup, and I do primp a lot.

7. Purses out, wallets and pockets in.

8. I have a feminine face.

9. Can't stand having a high voice.

I like pretty things.
I've done some things in my life considered hyper-feminine and some things considered hyper-masculine, and don't regret any of them.
Am I all man?
To the core, baby.

[Casey]

I'm not really into manga. It's too close to the Japanimation I used to watch back in the 80s (e.g. Voltron). That just kind of turned me off to the style.

I go back and forth on whether I want hair that would be long for a woman but I really like having longish hair for a guy. Not "hippie" length but the length we used to wear it in the 80s. Hmmm, I guess that was a clue.

I like pastels more than pinks but pink is good too. Pink seems just a little too soft to me where pastels feel just right.

I like to listen to any singer, male or female, who can make me feel something. But then, I was a music nerd in school.

I don't like horror because it gets too intense for me. Even action movies can be too much.

Makeup is OK if that's what I'm going for but usually it's not what I'm going for.

I'd love to have a purse. Stuffing everything into my pockets feels like just that: I'm cramming everything in them. I hate having bulging pockets.

My face is boyish and I like that. I'd like to soften it but it isn't chiseled so it's not so bad.

My voice isn't as high as I hear it in my head. I used to hate how it sounded to me but I like it these days. Now if it sounded like that in real life I'd be happy. I'm just glad I have a tenor or baritone voice rather than a bass voice.

I know what I am but it isn't because of the things I do. It's all about how I feel inside. My identity comes from the same place that tells me I'm a decent person overall. I'm not decent because I don't kick puppies. I'm not NOT decent because I have angry outbursts. I'm a decent person overall because I just know it inside. I can't quantify it. There's no real test I can take to tell me I'm a decent person. I just know it. Just like I just know my transgender identity.

Try this thought experiment. Take a quarter. Heads means you're a man, tails means you're a woman. Flip the coin. You have until the coin lands to say what you are or the coin will determine it for you. Man, woman, both, neither, something else, whatever you say you are while the coin is in the air is what your gut is telling you that you are. You may have to do some introspection but it will be a very good place to start from.

[angelsgirl]

Neon Genesis Evangelion becaue Shinji is a crazy emo kid.

LOL! Shinji was emo before there WAS emo! Hmm...could Shinji really be the founding father of emo culture?! 

Kisa, you've created a monster! Good topic though, sweetie, and I hope it's helping!