How do you deal with surgery jealousy?

[Ghost03]

I can't help but feel down about the fact that it will take me years to afford surgery. And so I do find myself getting envious of people who either have parents great enough to pay for it or manage to save the money in a matter of months.

Anyone else feel the same? Or do you just deal?

Side Note: I'm also extremely happy for the guys that can afford it! Jealousy just rears its ugly head sometimes & I hate it.

[Janet_Girl]

sorry to pop into a guys thread, but I do the same thing.  I have to avoid those threads that mention yet another new girl going in for SRS.  I wish them well and then leave the thread alone.  I also have turned off the signatures, so I don't have to see the countdowns.

The guys don't bother me as much, as I am going the other way.  But I still get very depressed when I see some else going.  I know that if I even get SRS, I will be too old for the surgery.

I wish all the others could understand that while we are have for them, it cause those who can't afford it, such pain that we may not make it.  At least it is that way for me.

Hugs ageispolis.  You will get here one day.

[Lachlann]

I get like that all the time. I'm happy for them, but I can't help but get bummed out at how easy it is for others but not for me.

[Shang]

I get sort of jealous.  It's only when I see a guy say they've had top surgery, though.  All other surgeries make me excited for the person and I'm really happy for them.  It'll be quite awhile before I can get surgery, but I try my hardest to not get too down when I realize the time frame.  Generally I just say congrats to the people and leave the thread alone.

[Steph]

As Janet said...

Just commenting from experience; way back when I first became a member here I too was very envious of those who were able to undergo SRS, and while I had plans for my own, I took the opportunity to contact them and ask how they were able to fund their surgery, trying to turn a negative emotion into a positive.

We didn't have the count down thingys back then so one didn't really notice that someone was close too or about to have surgery.  Personally my surgery was personal enough that I kept it quiet until about a week before I left for Montreal.

Yep it can be tough seeing others move on when we are seemingly being left behind but each of us is different, different circumstance, financial status, medical conditions that sometimes place road blocks in our path.  Apart from being prevented from having surgery due to medical reasons, there are ways around the other obstacles.  Often it's just a matter of having to make sacrifices and sacrificing something to achieve happiness is really not a sacrifice.

Devote time to learn from others and not dwell on what you see as your road blocks.  (yep - it's tough)

-={LR}=-

[Lachlann]

That's a good idea, actually.

Why not make a thread dedicated to ways to save up for surgery?

[sneakersjay]

I was lucky in that I sold a business that paid for my transition.  On the flip side, though, being married 15 years to a guy who was bad with money, I have virtually no retirement savings of any kind.

So yeah, while I may have afforded surgery, technically I should have saved that money.  But on we go.

Jay

[confused]

I get like that all the time. I'm happy for them, but I can't help but get bummed out at how easy it is for others but not for me.

same here . and i try my best not to think about that because it only makes me feel miserable , but there are a lot of things that are less than surgery that i can't do , so i'm kinda used to it , and became good at separating negative feelings away (as much as i can) and accept my situation

[jmaxley]

I get it too.  I'm really happy for them but still kind of jealous.  I'm that way with T too, since I haven't been able to get on T yet. 

[JudahLiam]

Dr. Garramone has some links on his site for medical loans, i was able to get one with no interest for 18 months, that figures out to be about 316 a month for 18 months and you can have it paid off with no interest.  Might be something worth looking into

[Nesque]

I do get jealous, but as Shang said, only when they have top surgery, really.
For me it's just the wait (3 years), and when people get it earlier, it makes me wish it was me getting it instead, but I wish them luck, and I really am happy for them. (: