How do I "explain" myself?

[Carl E. Shy]

I'm currently working at a summer camp as a photographer (which is why I haven't been online much these past months). I've been asked at least 14-15 times by the kids here: "are you a boy or a girl?" Sometimes these kids are truly confused, but sometimes their tone is very cruel. Last time, a little boy asked me and my response was, "I'm both."

Apparently he was even more confused and ended up telling the camp director who confronted me about it, saying that I needed to stop "messing" with the kids. The topic of being an androgyne is a bit hard to bring up, mainly because this is a summer camp in the middle of the bible-belt.

Any ideas on how I can address this issue with the kids and/or camp director? Have any of you had similar experiences?

[Nero]

Wow. That's a tough one. I'd say just pick one and go with it (using your birth sex is probably the safest route), but it does seem you're in a good position to talk to kids about gender variance. How old are the kids?

[Pica Pica]

I work with kids who ask, even when there are adults around.
I tend to say 'neither' and smile. The adults take it as a joke, sometimes the kids do and sometimes the kids clock on and share the smile - I like those ones the best. I save proper explanation to when an adult asks me.

[ZaidaZadkiel]

I've never had the luxury to having to explain myself. When little children ask, "are you a boy or a girl?" I like to reply "sometimes", but I like messing with peoples minds.

I'm a horrible person.

[no_id]

Bible-belt... Ohlala... That can either be a really -fun- playground or one where there's no point in buidling a sandcastle because it gets busted before you know it.

In your case I'd say: forget about the sandcastles mon cherie because that sand turned stone long before you walked your sexy ass in there.

For a more proper reply this fine, hungover Saturday morning at work:
I'd say either go with Nero on this one: play the role to make this job go as smooth as possible. Simply see it as a word that'll keep you out of some bible-belt discussions. The other option: don't answer - that way you're not lying. Answer the question with a question 'Shouldn't you be....?' or if you actually want to focus on the subject 'What do you think?'..

As for the camp director 'stop messing with them kids' doesn't sound like an invitation for an openminded discussion. More likely it sounds like a 'I don't know what your problem is, I don't want to know, and I don't want you talking 'bout it...'...

If this is really only a job for the summer I'd say sit it out. Sure it could be a great opportunity to open the minds of kids... In a different setting, at a different time, and a whole different place... With lot's of sandcastles.

[Crow]

Oh man, I feel your pain. While it delights me to no end when people, especially kids, ask me the "Are you a boy or a girl?" question, it also pains me when I can't be completely truthful with them due to the environment. The only time that question is not enjoyable is when an adult says it sneeringly, at which point I'm likely to give a vague, witty (but always good-natured, never rude) retort and leave it at that. However, if a kid asks (even snidely, because being level-headed with kids is my job... often literally) or if an adult asks respectfully, I delight in it. 83

I usually just answer with as much truth as I feel the other grown-ups within hearing distance will let me get away with. If I know a kid's parents and trust that they're accepting, I'll tell the truth and patiently answer as many questions as they feel the need to ask-- I love doing that. However, more often, I'm in a situation (i.e. teaching/tutoring in ultra-conservative Indiana) where I could get in actual trouble for telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so I skirt around it and get as close as I can without being too obvious. My last resort answer, which seems to work nicely in a pinch (as I'm an androgynous guy in a currently-female body) is "I'm a tomboy." Not 100% accurate, but it's a safe answer that doesn't completely ignore the truth.

I'm looking forward to the day when my emergency safe-answer can be the somewhat-more-accurate "I'm a boy," and then let my androgyny speak for itself (the earrings and purple glasses usually do a good job of that).

[RAY]

First place the camp director needs to stop messing with you. What right does he have to tell you this? That person needs to get their head out of the sand and leave you alone. This your business and kids will be cruel at times others are curious seeking to truly understand everyone. Speaking up for yourself is one point don't back down, clearly let it be know you do not like the manner or tone taken with you by the camp director . Dealing with bible pounding two/faced persons can be challenging since not all Christians are like this.

[michelle]

My response is sort of "Whatever?" and then I am quiet.   I just let people see what they see, but then when I grew up in an alcoholic family, that's all I did, " See what, I could see."   "Accept the the fact yu, are powerless." One of adult children's rules.

[Eva Marie]

If i were you i would distance myself from this situation quickly. Simply smile when asked this question, and say no more to anybody.

It's a no-win situation for you, unfortunately, in the environment that you are currently working in.

[spacial]

I was thinking the same as RAY.

That camp director is a weirdo. Your response was completely appropriate. The child, going to him was just making trouble. The appropriate response from that director would have been to tell him to show some rspect.

[Eva Marie]

I was thinking the same as RAY.

That camp director is a weirdo. Your response was completely appropriate. The child, going to him was just making trouble. The appropriate response from that director would have been to tell him to show some rspect.

You have to keep this in context. This is a Christian camp, with Christian values, teaching kids. I'm not all all surprised that the OP got questioned about "messing" with the kids, given the question at hand.

A few Christian churches are enlightened; most are not. Which saddens me, as I identify as a Christan transgendered person 

[Nicky]

I think it comes down to whether you want to be out and open as a trans person/androgen or not.

If you are open about it, it is your right to say "I am transgendered, and don't fit neatly in with males or females. I consider myself to be neither/both/inbetween/somthing else and it is a diagnosable condition that I was born with. It would be undignified and against my human rights to have to lie and say I was male or female" or something similar.

Otherwise "yes boss, I will suck it and smile" or "my gender is nobodies business by my own"

[spacial]

You have to keep this in context. This is a Christian camp, with Christian values, teaching kids. I'm not all all surprised that the OP got questioned about "messing" with the kids, given the question at hand.

A few Christian churches are enlightened; most are not. Which saddens me, as I identify as a Christan transgendered person 

OK I accept that. I don't have a lot of experience of these sort of people.

I really do wish Carl/y the very best

[clairezoey]

HAHA...i have the sames exp....when im in library a boy call me sis..lol!!!!! wtf!!!

[Eva Marie]

I really do wish Carl/y the very best

I do also.