Quote from: Kara-Xen on August 04, 2010, 03:00:42 PM
This is just a general response. I'll make a better one later. So I'll reply again, soon.
Uhm... I'm not making up excuses. Please don't say that. I have untreated anxiety because it is hard to find a psychiatrist who will give me the meds that I know work for me, and it is not my fault people abuse them and make me look bad. Everyone is different. Everyone needs different meds, risks or not. I have tried every single other kind of pill and they only shut me down in some way. Certain anxiety meds made me able to walk places without caring about what people thought and more productive... I'm not working right now because I have panic attacks that are so bad they cause chest pain and I can barely leave my house... So... please, don't insinuate that I'm lazy. Its really not as easy as people think it is, in terms of just changing my thought-process. When I need relief, I need relief.
I worked my ass off to get into art school, and I work my ass off every single day trying to conquer my head, until I am exhausted. People are different. Not everything is a crutch or sign of weakness. I'll respond to this later... There are a lot of things. I have been on HRT, and I am fulltime, believe it or not. I got my name changed. I'm trying my best. I went to two semesters of art school as a girl even though I got sirred every single day in class. Just... Give me a while and I'll respond. I'm trying to be productive right now cause the anxiety isn't acting up as much... Be back later.
Wasnt insinuating your not trying hard enough, and if you have a condition outside GID like clinical anxiety, Bipolar, etc... then no amount of trying is going to help fix a chemical imbalance, you need to take meds to help you cope, but just like HRT for me i was rejected 3 times before i got a doctor to give me some, just keep looking, or even got a community clinic, and if its a clinical diagnosis then if you live in the US you can sign up for disability payments. If you have something in addition to GID then your life is going to be lot harder, however my point was not to point out that people are lazy or dont try hard enough, its just they give up to easily when they fail, and then they come up stories of why everyone else around them caused the failure, whether you see yourself as a winner or loser is really up to you. Everyone has bad times and good times, we have to make choices in our lives that we may regret.
Think about this. Close your eyes and see yourself in a pile of smelly rotting garbage. It stinks, it doesnt feel good on your skin, its a place you dont really want to be. Now think of yourself in a lush meadow, flowers, cool breezes, the warmth of the sun on you, the crisp fresh air, its peaceful, laughter can be heard in the distance. See, its easy to make yourself feel better, when we are all doom and gloom we put ourselves in the pile of garbage, we dont have to be in there if we dont want to be, but since that depression doom and gloom is familiar we have gotten accustomed to it... we need to get out of that place and on to a better place, see how just imagining it made you feel differently? well, thats all it takes. People bother you, you can choose to do a few things about it, #1) tell someone in authority, #2) ignore it, #3) feel bad about it. People growing up and being made fun of, we all live with that, i wasnt part of the in crowd even before my transition, i got my share of name calling and hassle, just put yourself in a place mentally you want to be and i will help you cope. Imagine what your ideal life would be like.... use that everytime you feel bad and make yourself feel just that little bit better take steps everyday to move forward toward your goal, something as simple as for example exercising to get the body you always wanted for transition. If you cant find a job working outside your home, get one working inside, there are plenty of jobs that pay minimum wage or more doing things from home that arent scams, look and you will find them.
Post Merge: August 04, 2010, 02:43:00 PM
Quote from: Janet Lynn on August 04, 2010, 03:11:41 PM
The only excuse I have is no one is hiring here. I apply every week to just about anything, but when you live in a state that has 10% unemployment there is a lot of competition for work.
And it get tough each year. You may not ever see it but there is disadvantages to being older. Age discrimination. No excuse just fact.
And please don't accuse me of making excuses. Some have more advantages than others. I have seen it time and time again, over the last 50 years.
Why limit yourself to work in one geographical area, if you cant find work where your at you can find work in other states, there is the internet which makes job searches world wide a reality. You are probably looking for your ideal job, am I right? I have a full IT degree, but i worked as a paper pusher and general administrative assistant, i even worked at walmart when i had to, and even cleaning as a maid service. Have you tried for those jobs? or you too proud for that kind of work? If the lifestyle you lead requires a job that you cannot get its time to adjust how you live, i have done it many times, but i have found as long as i have work i can live no matter what and comfortably i might add. The employment situation here isnt any better and things are 3 times more expensive to make things worse. I dont know about you but paying 6-8 dollars for a gallon of milk is common here.
"The only excuse I have is no one is hiring here." see, even if you dont believe it you have already grasped the notion with that statement that you will fail even if you try~ There is no positive anything in that statement, only doom and gloom. Its the system or its employers or its job discrimination, you know it might be, but not everyone is like that, and blatant discrimination is punishable if discovered. No one has faith in themselves anymore, people quit so easily now and have a defeatist attitude. You know i must have gone through 30 or 40 interviews in the 6 months it took me to find my current job. rejection after rejection... it only takes one to change your whole outlook on life.
As for age discrimination, it depends on the industry, for example my dad age 50 at the time was thinking of moving to where i live so on his vacation he shopped around, when they found out he had 30+ years experience in the industry they were begging him to come work for them, they offered 2x the salary and benefits like you wouldn't believe, he turned it down, he didnt feel like moving, and the cost of living would have been higher so he decided to stay where he was comfortable. So yeah some places its good to be young, some its good to be old, depends on the industry.
