Spiro Effects; feminized the mind, make other men feel different around you?

[Megan]

All of this is still happening in guy mode, since I have not gone further than spiro.  Still this has been kind of interesting, I up my dosage of spiro, and now I think I could be thinking more feminine ever before. I felt like I was on some cloud today of wanting to be touch, and that's not usual for me. Then I actually cared and felt happy for this one guy who was telling me that he made $500 or something, and usually I wouldn't care for anybody. Then I felt depressed for a second that I wasn't a woman, and couldn't date him since if I was I knew he would be dating me. Can a heterosexual "normal" man feel that another guy isn't really  a guy in the head so he let down his defenses? I don't know either he's really nice, but he seems like he likes me a lot. It's probably he's really nice though.

Then recently a lot of men have been helping me with physical labor, and I am not even asking them to help me. It doesn't bother me, but it's a new thing, maybe they see me as weaker or something.

How long until spiro really becomes a bad thing for my body? I don't want to go on estrogen but I been on spiro for about two or so months. And now I can't really be awake without caffeine, and I feel weak now. But I don't want to get off it either, since if I get off it then I will feel like I need to be on it. I was off it for a good three weeks because I felt the effects then when my androgens leveled up I felt like, "I should go back on spiro immediately!" which I did. I just don't want them in my body too long for any period because I don't want bone loss and breast tissue.

[JessicaR]

It's a pretty amazing revelation for a transsexual when you realize how much better things seem without testosterone. BUT....

  It seems that you're not too sure of what you want... You're taking an antiandrogen so I'll assume you want to reduce your masculinity but you don't want the changes that come with estrogen? Do you assume that, by only taking spiro, you'll keep your secret and be OK with that? The feelings that you're talking about are typical... I felt them, too...

  Megan, I'm speaking from experience... I was EXACTLY where you are about 5 years ago and I put myself through 2 1/2 years of hell... If you haven't already, find a therapist, preferably one that specializes in gender, and begin sorting these things out. If you are trans, things are only going to get worse without help. Above all, you shouldn't be taking Spiro without approval from an M.D. It may seem harmless but playing with your body's hormone system can have irreversible effects, physically and mentally. How long does it take to have lasting effects? It's different for everyone and depends on your age, dosage, etc. But do you really want to risk permanently changing the way you act, look and think before you're sure of what's going on?
  Sorry if it seems like I'm jumpin on you but what you wrote hit really close to home...... I just hate to think that someone would have to go through what I did.   

[Megan]

Well I doubt spiro will do anything physically to me that I would not want since I am just taking it low enough as an acne medication by some local doctor. I am taking spiro to prevent any further masculinity, I'm 18. My family grows in general to 5'9-5'10 on both sides for men, and right now I am 5'7 so I don't want to grow taller if there's a chance. It's like I am freezing myself as an 18 year present self, so I am pretty happy if I can keep this result. I don't want a ton of facial hair either, and right now all I have is a mustache growth if I let it grow and little chin hairs.

Also I want to prevent hair loss (I was worried about it since my hair was thinning just a bit, then it went away and now it's thick), and my face looks great.

There's no way I would ever get off of spiro until I am like 20, when the results are permanent. And if I want to go on estrogen it would be better this way then if I were too not go on spiro.

Thanks, but I feel transsexual enough to feel trans, but I have tons of fears/doubt/worries/financial/whatever issues. I can only live for myself, but if I am somewhat content as of now then I will carry this on. If I decide I would die if I can't be a woman than I will become a woman.

I am just freezing my state of masculinity, it's all I can do for now. If I transition later then I can be passable for sure, and if I don't transition then at least I look like a naturally feminine guy and not some hulk.

My voice stills cracks sometimes, which is awesome.... I guess. It just means it's not at its lowest state, and I won't let it.

----

Also there's no way I can't get on estrogen until next year's summer.

[Nicky]

Well, the effects won't be permenant Megan. As soon as you stop, T will start increasing again, complete with body and facial hair and muscle growth, and your libido. These things don't stop with puberty, otherwise we would all be screwed.

5'9 - 5'10 is a good height for women I reckon. I would not be too concerned about that. But then I like tall women.

I hope you are not upping the dosage yourself without supervision. If you are not already I would recommend getting regular bloods to check your electrolytes etc..make sure your liver is functioning fine.

The bone thing is an interesting one. My endo was not all that worried about that when I started spiro on it's own...I mean testosterone and estrogen are supposed to help protect your bone density. But taking spiro only does not automatically mean you will get osteoporosis. Really though only your doctor can advise you properly on this. I think it is one of those things the trans community have blown out of proportion, but hey, what do I know? Professional advise is best.

I think the whole transition or die thing is stupid. I think the most valid reason of all for transition is that if you are a woman then it is your right to live as the woman you are. (and vis versa for you boys) Simple as that. It needs no other justification.

Anyway all the best! I'm all for arresting development in young people such as yourself untill they feel they can make a dicision. Smart girl! You will have a great base to start from if you do decide to transition! But I do strongly advocate medical supervision. Hormones are not toys.

[Dinky_Di]

I would be very very careful in taking large doses of spiro by itself.  Your body needs either testosterone or eostrogen to remain healthy at stop the onset of osteoperosis.  There is a real possibility of causing yourself longterm medical issues.  Larger spiro doses are not usually a problem so long as the decreasing testostrone is replaced with eostrogen.  In saying this all should be done under the care of a doctor to closely monitor your blood levels.

[JessicaR]

"I think the whole transition or die thing is stupid."


That was a remarkably insensitive thing to say... I decided to kill myself in April 2008 because I couldn't imagine living as a man anymore and I never saw transition as an option because I feared everyone I loved would turn their back on me. To me, at the time, the choice was between death and transition. I was very fortunate to have had a family member help me out of the state I was in.
You should know (especially as a moderator) that the transsexual suicide rate is over 30% and that 50% of all transsexuals have a suicide attempt by the time they're 20. I'm glad that you had a positive experience while deciding to transition but it's not as easy for all of us.

[tori319]

"I think the whole transition or die thing is stupid."


That was a remarkably insensitive thing to say... I decided to kill myself in April 2008 because I couldn't imagine living as a man anymore and I never saw transition as an option because I feared everyone I loved would turn their back on me. To me, at the time, the choice was between death and transition. I was very fortunate to have had a family member help me out of the state I was in.
You should know (especially as a moderator) that the transsexual suicide rate is over 30% and that 50% of all transsexuals have a suicide attempt by the time they're 20. I'm glad that you had a positive experience while deciding to transition but it's not as easy for all of us.

Until I excepted myself a few months ago I felt exactly the same way.You look amazing by the way,I hope I have as good results.

[bethanypahl]

you should listen and get under a doctors care for hr it is really needed   spiro didnt mess with your mind all it did was cut back that damn test anyway find a doctor and do it right
Post Merge: August 06, 2010, 04:57:36 AM
nicky
just be thankful you didnt find yourself in that dark place because it really sucked and alot of tg find themselves there and that needs to stop to much loss of life please think about this before you make comments like that thanks

[Akashiya Moka]

Until I excepted myself a few months ago I felt exactly the same way.You look amazing by the way,I hope I have as good results.

~We cope as best we are able, but even doing so is no certainty against the waves of crushing despair.  All of us have a limit to the amount of pain we can endure; inevitably, even the most resilient psyche will break under constant pressure.  For many of us, myself included, it was either do this (transition) or put an end to it... I can't speak for anyone else, but before I started transition (I've been on HRT consistently/full-time for about a year) I had felt dead inside—like a zombie; all those previous years spent as a 'boy', pretending as others expected of me, I never felt alive, my whole existence was awful and surreal.  As some of you may know, suicide in that state of mind doesn't seem like such a bad idea; all I was worried about was hurting others, and what they would think of me; how they would remember (and judge me)—I really did not want to die physically a male. ~And I'm Glad I'm Still Here, Surrounded With My Trans Brothers & Sisters; ...Basking In The Awesomeness That Is Estrogen!

Edit: ...However, even though I was resolute against suicide, I admit I attempted it; even if we're doing everything else right to preserve our sanity, people can still push us over the edge with their cruelty and disregard... Sadly enough these types of people are often called 'family'.  ~What a sick joke, IMO.