I've gotten into a really strange loop. I try to stay stronger than my depression by working, work to keep my mind and body busy. I'm already a work-a-holic, but it gets worse when I'm depressed. No matter how self-pitying I get, if I know there are people expecting me to get somewhere to do work at a certain time it forces me to eat, sleep, bathe and put my head somewhere productive. Now when I work myself to the point where I feel like I can't go on, but I'm still depressed, I get the feeling "well, you've given this commitment, if it's too much when this is done you can finish yourself then without inconveniencing everyone." Things get problematic when I'm depressed and I see too little work on my plate, then opening a vein starts to look really good.
