I'm glad you are still here Cynthalee. Like Janet said, do what the docs say and stay right where you are (here). I can completely relate to being saved from suicide (on more than one occasion) by some of the most awesome people in the world who I count as my friends here in Susan's.
I really don't know you well, yet, but I hope you get to hang on here long enough for me to count you as one of those friends.
*HUGS* and take care of yourself,
Deanna