Names we use...

[omdorastrix]

I know that the names we use are a large part of our identity.  And many of us choose to change our names when we transition and/or when we begin presenting ourselves differently.

I present as male in day-to-day life, goal one is to add elements of feminine presentation so my day-to-day becomes more androgynous/bit-of-both.  Goal 1.5 is I want to feel able to present as female on a given day if I so chose, I've got a fair bit of social practice to get there.


My SO is WAY more comfortable in public with gender and sexuality than I am and it always grates on me when they have drawn attention to it, even if we're just walking through the mall talking amongst ourselves and I know that no-one is really listening.  (It still seems like they're yelling at the top of their lungs.  "OOH THAT BRA WOULD LOOK CUTE ON YOU!!!"  *sigh*)

I've been blessed with a name that has some form in each gender. (IE: Chris = Christopher/Christine, Rob = Robert/Robin, Jess = Jessica/Jessie, Aaron/Erin).  I've discussed with my SO about using the feminine counterpart to my male name in public, 1) when referring to the feminine aspect of my gender ("How do you think X will look in this" instead of "How do you think you'll look in this...") and 2) if I was ever to go out in public as female (theoretically, at least).

I found it helps to relieve a lot of the social stress I feel to disassociate it a little.

I feel a little like I'm short changing myself on an opportunity here,  but also I feel like this fits me best because, in my head both the feminine aspect and the masculine aspect are parts of the whole "me".

Thoughts?  Discuss...

[Kia]

I've always maintained that transition and the whole trans* phenomenon is all about self-creation, instead of being the person we are conditioned to be by our families and societies and all that (which works for some people) we decide to build our identity from the ground up. So if you find that a feminine name properly represents you when you are in that "feminine mode" then do it. You are who you want to be and if you want to be Christopher sometimes and Christine others than do that (or Robert/Robin, etc). I also am currently for all intents and purposes presenting as a male, so it can be tough to convince myself and the world at large that I am in fact trans* seeing as I have not taken steps towards transition. So there's something safe and comforting I think about using a femme name as it subconsciously becomes more and more real not just for you but for those around you. And as you said the masculine and feminine are both integral parts of the total "you" and at the end of the day you decide who and what that "you" is. So be happy and do what thou will

As far as me I was given a perfectly androgynous name, Alex, neither Alexander or Alexandra so I feel kinda lucky that I don't really worry about my name and changing it.

[Pica Pica]

I'm called Adam, and have decided it signifies me and not my gender. No changes needed.

[ativan]

I think Ativan is fairly neutral. 

[Sevan]

Sevan is the whole of my two halves. Sara (fem) and Evan (male) Works for me. Though when I first started transitioning it turned into more of a "him and me" which...um...wha? That was confusing and made "him" feel like less than "me" which...isn't true. "She" is my birth gender so always seemed to be something of the default...but with some integration of them both, Sevan feels most "me" now. I rarely if ever reference either "part" though sometimes still do.

[hazelspikes]

The name most call me is like Harriet/Harold, so it's fairly good to me. Especially if somebody spells it as the masculine version instead of the feminine. Though, I use a lot of different names on the internets and most of them are feminine or unisex (Hazel, Sylvia, Robin, etc.)

[wren-bird]

Most people who know me call me Ty/Tai/Tie. I'm doing a permanent name change soon to Wren.

[Brightest After Dawn]

My first name is a very masculine one, which does bother me a lot. I've thought of asking people to go by my last name, Taylor, because it's also an androgynous first name.

[sicological]

As someone who (so far) tends to keep a female appearance, I just introduce myself by my nickname, which isn't really a name and so has no connotations. It's been so long I actually forgot it wasn't really my name