Hiya, I posted as "999" a while back ago but I think my account was deleted to inactivity. I wanted to update that I still have not been able to retain depth or width, and I can't get much more than a q-tip in there (yeah I know). Thanks for the people who wanted to get an update and I am coping with it, as in its not the on my mind that much but I am going to probably get colon segment surgery at some point or hold out for some revolutionary grafting. I would also like to say a few things that I feel is important;
To the people who say "relax and dilate, dilate, dilate" and "it's your own fault if it closes up".
This really offends me on a personal level when I hear this, anyone who has SRS knows that dilation is important (particularly Suporn) and that they simply must do it. I can't explain how frustrating it is to have people tell you to do something that you simply cannot do, or are doing and it isn't helping, and then blaming you for the results. I don't know exactly what combination of factors afflicted me (and other girls) but I sure as hell can testify that it did not come from a lack of effort on my part, I actually paid an emergency clinic out of pocket to get a Vicodin prescription in desperation to dilate harder and longer to no avail. My contractions could be felt in my sleep and there would be times where I would dilate for 2-3 or hours while watching movies just to see if I got better results. It just didn't work, and I really hope that the blame stops falling on few girls who have these results. Suporn's clinic gave me the same line as they give others, and I think they intentionally instill the attitude of "the only people who lose depth are those too lazy/afraid of pain to dilate" to everyone to prevent the failure cases from reflecting poorly on them when someone speaks out. I have heard that its worse with younger girls than older, which I suspect is due to the body's healing abilities trying to close that whole area up. When that paired with other factors (granulation, other complications) that cause even *more* pain, discomfort or downright functional abilities this type of thing, however rare it may seem, happen. Further, just how much torture (it was truly was) can you insist a person inflict upon themselves before considering it unreasonable? To dilation apologists, no it is not a matter of relaxing or perspective, in the worst of cases it is pain that cannot be tolerated by a reasonable person without causing psychological harm (as I said I was having panic attacks because of it). In fact I think that there needs to be a major overhaul in SRS techniques because quite frankly, dilation is RIDICULOUS.
My next point;
Dilation is the elephant in the SRS room that everyone downplays or pretends is not important until after you drink the punch and *have* to make it apart of your existence. I found very little serious information on dilation in preparing all those years for surgery, even when talking to post-op people directly about it. What information was out there focused on dilation as it applies immediately post-op (6 months to a year). I have met plenty of well informed girls getting close to surgery who were shocked to find out that you can *never* stop dilating as a rule no matter who and what surgery you get.
Yes, as it stands you simply have no choice for keeping your vaginal canal in working condition, and yes you can in some cases eventually do it less frequently (particularly with colon vaginoplasty) but you still have to do it *forever*. I think all people considering SRS should know this as one of the first things they should prepare for. I know I may have done a little more shopping around to make sure if I had issue dilating I could count on my surgeon to correct it quickly if I had been aware of how absolutely critical it is to your recovery to have it work out *completely on your own*.
Good luck to all girls who had or are having SRS, and please do your homework about dilation, make sure you will be able to manage it on your own if need be and that your lifestyle has room for it. Ask about it in-depth with your surgeon and make sure they can help you with pain and complications if need be. I really hope that scientific advancements make some leaps and bounds in this area so that can get real tissue grafts that don't require a more annoying and invasive transsexual version of an insulin shot.
