Who was the first person you told?

[Rayalisse]

Told my spouse about a week after it dawned on me that I was TG- she's had mixed feelings about my coming out and working through some of her own issues (both related and unrelated to this) but its been great to have someone to talk to who's also my best friend and open minded. 

She said "why didn't you wait till my own issues that I've been dealing with were resolved?"  Is there really ever "good timing" for coming out? Isn't it always a huge truckload of information to give anyone?

Cheers -
Raya.

[jamesdc]

I kinda half came out first to my parents. I told them I was a lesbian when I was 15, and frankly that gave her time to get used to the idea of the LGBT community. When I was 18 I told my mom I was genderqueer..or rather I definitely wasn't a girl, but I didn't know if I wanted to be a boy. I asked to be called Reece, a gender neutral name. Both my parents were fine with that for a while. I guess my point in that was giving her time to realize I was struggling with gender issues and that I didn't know the outcome. But as time went on, the dysphoria and the depression grew so finally I exploded and told my mom that I was trans. She cried a lot. I think she was more worried about the medical stuff, like long term effects of testosterone.

After about a month, she just started asking me infinite questions so she could try and understand and she has finally come around. I decided to let her pick my boy name (James Douglas) and she's even volunteering at Garden State Equality for trans rights. She's really come a long way..as cliche as this sounds, she's my bestfriend and I didn't want to transition until I had her support.

[Tad]

This is an interesting one.. because i was living a double life.. well more like I was living one life.. and people percieved me as one of two ways.

My family/friends percieved me as female despite the fact that I looked/acted nothing like a female.. so out in public meeting new people.. new people always percieved me as male.

Sooo meeting all these people as male.. the first person I told was a nice htereo girl that kinda had some interest in me.. wound up making her my girlfriend.. after lots of hurt feelings and feelings that i decieved her etc.. it's hard to know when to tell someone... That situation ended in me having to tell a few people who knew me as male.. that I was not male... which was rather awkward.

Then I started telling friends.. none of whom were really surprised/had already guessed that I was trans and not 'female'. Telling people this is alot easier then telling the other group that I wasn't bio male.

[Angela]

The first person I told was my mom,she didnt accept it at first.But since my transition, she is more like an older sister to me than my mom.

[Raven]

The first person I told was my bf, when I told him I was hopelessly drunk, according to him I first mentioned that I wish I had a guys body, and he asked "really?" and I told him yea. Then he said that he he asked me if I knew the that the surery is very expensive I told him yea. He says that I finally felt out told him that I'm trans and that I am stuck in this god forsaken female body and I hated it badly. He said after that he just shocked cause I had never gave him any clues that I'm trans and that he never expected that but nonetheless he was happy that I finally opened up to him about it and told him my story in great detail and it made since to him why I feel the way I do and why I hadn't gave him clues before. He accepted it with open arms and introduuced me to my now good friend Rowan who i like a brother to me and he's trans as well and my bf knew that I really to know someone else like me and have support with this. But when he told me what I told him the next day I was really shocked that I told.

[Anisha]

i told to my sister first because she was the one who could help me with dressing and all.I am still not totally out to her.

[Farm Boy]

I told one of my best friends who is very GLBT friendly.  I'd been coming to Susan's for months and had started therapy, so I just really needed someone in real life I could talk to about it.  She's been completely awesome about it.

[Alainaluvsu]

I'd love to tell my sister in law right now, but she runs her mouth like crazy. She has a bunch of gay friends, commented on how she loves that type of community, and I think she would probably take it pretty well, but I have no idea how my brother would take it. I'm waiting until i've been on hormones for at least a month before telling anybody.

[Kev]

First I told a net friend of mine who is still quite young (18) and who I don't count as close friend but as nice person anyway. He just happened to be there, and so I told him. He reacted quite well.

[Dana Lane]

The first person I told was a coworker and I was shaking so bad I could barely talk. Once I started the conversation I realized it was too late and wanted to jump off a cliff before I finished. Luckily there are no cliffs in University City where I work.

It all worked out just fine. After that it got easier. Not even an issue I think about anymore.

[JosephKT]

The first person I told was my ex, who.... seemed to take it well at first.  Actually, he did, but when we would get into arguments use it as a way to demean me or just hurt me, maybe to avoid the topic of argument or maybe because I hurt his pride and he felt that that would be the best way to get back at me.  In fact when we broke up he kept asking me why I broke up with him and when I told him he emailed me back (long distance relationship, by the way) that at least he didn't "compensate for my lack of masculinity by taking too many stupid martial arts, hide behind pretending to be something I'm not" amongst other things about my economic status and time I spent in therapy for sub-clinical anorexia and other forms of general "not being good to myself" behavior.  That sucked all sorts of balls.

There are lots of friends I've told, mixed reactions.

My little brother reacted with a total, "so.... you're a dude.... but like dudes....." long pause of confusion, followed by total non-interest.  A year later "wait...  so that means you can help buy clothes that will help with getting chicks!  What do you use on your hair, how do I get it to do that spiky thing in the front?"  I love my brother ^^

And then my Master at Taekwondo straight-up just asked me if I were gay, and because he's my master I felt like I couldn't lie to him and told him "kinda....  I'm actually trans.... but I like mostly dudes."  I was pretty scared, I mean close-contract sports and such are not always the easiest places to find acceptability, and he's reaction was basically "that's kinda confusing, so do you mind that you're answered up to as 'ma'am'" and that was about it.  I don't think he has any idea how big of a deal it was he was so cool with it.

[Hurtfulsplash]

At the time I had no one to tell so I sent a letter to a therapist and she sent me some pamphlets. I couldn't really do much with the information because I was on my own and had no money, then one day I had to have an operation and the doc came in and asked if I was TS and I said yes. After the operation my older sister found out but she was neither her nor there about it. It wasn't until I was 27 that I finally told my counselor, who I had been seeing for depression, and it only slipped out because the hair on my legs was obvious. She's a really southern woman and says she only wants what will make me happy, but I can tell by her behavior sometimes that she's not all that ok with it even though she support my decision.

[mtfbuckeye]

I've had multiple "coming outs," but the first person I told in each case was the same female friend from college...

1996: "Hey! I like transwomen (but don't tell anyone, ok?)"
1999: "Hey! I like to dress up like a girl! Can you give me a makeover?"
2008: "Hey, I think I need to transition!"

Thankfully she was really supportive each time, though I've been a bit saddened that we've grown apart in recent years.

[E]

First, online, to Mara. Then, offline, to my psychologist. Then to my father, on Thursday, and my mother just afterwards.

And that's as far as I've gotten.

[Wolf Man]

I believe that I told my girlfriend first.

We are just into our 5th year and I told her at about the 4th. She took it really well and has adjusted nicely with the pronouns and name. I'd say about 3 months ago is when I told my older sister and then a month after that is when I told my oldest sister. I only have the two. I have yet to notify my parental units because I have a big sopping sack of fear waiting to be thrown out.

I am nearly a year into my transition from the time that I came to realize this all.

[Argent]

I decided to tell a random person on MSN who I was'nt particularly close to just so I knew what kind of reaction to expect. Turned out to be a guy on MSN that was and is majorly crushing on my Girlfriend.
He told me not to tell anyone and to keep it to myself. No wonder I did'nt tell anyone else for almost a whole year later. :/

[Arielle]

Hmm..the first person was my cousin..she was happy to hear that i admitted to it because i was always feminine lol.

[Cruelladeville]

After the medics, then my other-half, which was a problem that didn't resolve....

but once I knew that i was on a serious journey I told my Pa bless him.... though before I got to the big moment, with a faltering voice....I started off with something along the lines of it's been undermining me for years....and totally debilitating...

He totally twigged the point of the conversation (it was via phone as he lived abroad)... he cut me off....and he kindly said you don't need to explain anymore, I'm pretty sure you're going to become a woman.... and please don't worry I will always love you....

Which he did.... he even funded some of my later surgeries.... and was very proud of me...it brought us closer together in so many ways I would never have imagined....

So he will always be one of the most important and influential men of my life (and I still miss him terribly)... as he died in 2002, and even now there is still no week that goes by when I don't at some point think about him....

My love for him will always be eternal.....

As to my mother, I had to write to her.... and she didn't react at all well initially....but then my relationship with her has always been prickly....sadly!

My younger sister proved a wonderful ally, as she's a nurse her help invaluable...

But my brother too was less thrilled to start with, but was wonderful to me on my 40th b'day when he came over as a surprise from Italia to be with me on my big event day.

[ZukieThePharaoh]

First person I told was my best friend. We were outside a pizza place and I was kinda musing about some stuff, and I mentioned that I had been doing some research on SRS and stuff led to other stuff.
Anyway, she was beyond supportive, and even cut my hair and stuff.
As of recently I think she's less supportive, but oh well.

[STRM]

The first person I told was my dad a little over a week ago, then my mum, then yesterday a random taxi driver who asked me why my workmate kept calling me [female name]. That whole thing is weird. Yesterday I was pretty much booted out of the women's toilets despite wearing technically female clothing (and a couple of guys laughed their butts off at me as I came out), but the workmates I was with didn't even look at me twice. If they've noticed anything at all they're good at hiding it; I haven't told any of them yet.

My dad was supportive at first but is worried about bathroom issues, which don't look like they're going to be a problem anyway, and my mum is cool with it and not really surprised. She might be a little trans herself actually... It's not something we've talked about. Both of them are concerned about the surgical aspects, but even top surgery is not on the cards any time soon.

I'd like to keep my parents on my side and informed even though we don't have the closest of relationships and I'm not much of a talker. They're pretty important to me and they're also going to be adjusting to transition, so it's not really fair to lock them out even if by accident.